jack off. Or they could make fun of him for being half of the new Adam Sandler film Jack & Jill. I seriously doubt anyone can recover from that.
It depends on the state, but generally speaking self-defense law wants to prevent escalation. So if you get attacked with non-lethal force, for example, in most places you can't use lethal force in retaliation. Additionally, many states require you to flee if you can reasonably do so. So, for example, if someone attacks you and you ninja flip them behind a desk and then stick around to keep fighting instead of leaving the room, you can be charged for the part of the fight post-flip in a lot of states. Similarly, if you shoot someone who punches you in the arm, you could get charged. Of course "could" and "will" are different animals. The ball bouncing, however, is probably not going to matter either way.
I already have a sure-fire method of making sure my daughter has a stress-free school experience. The day after somebody messes with her the first time, I am going to send her to school with a steel lunchbox. Upon arrival, she's gonig to fill it with rocks, walk up to the kids that messed with her and send them to Neptune. Then as she stands alone in the killing fields in blood-spattered clothes, she'll flip the mangled lunchbox to her horrified teacher and say "What's for lunch, lady?!" If that isn't the recipe for a future homecoming queen, then I don't know what is.
On a plane last weekend, I sat next a dude traveling with his wife and three girls. He loudly introduced his children to the lady in front of him during the flight: Summer Raye, Skylar Blue, Scarlet Rose. (I'm guessing at the spelling.) So, I guess that was yellow, blue and red. Their ages seemed about 7, 4 and 1, so I'm not sure where he'd go, since he used up all the primary colors, if they have another one. Magenta Sparkle?
I have a last name that can easily be mispronounced as "Cock"... so if that's the case, the kid is screwed no matter the first name. The best string of names I've heard yet belongs to a family that had a couple of their children in my mother's classroom years ago. From oldest to youngest- Hunter, Fisher, Trapper. No joke. If only they had a fourth kid and named it Warden...
I recommend you marry an Indian woman and have her bear you twins: Ramdeep Sukhdeep I actually met a Ramdeep Khakh once. She was a lovely person.
I don't know dude, I got a lot of shit for being Francis in the late 80's/early 90's. When we moved I started going by my middle name and got picked on way less... until my second year when they did role call first day and used Francis, that was a bad day.
My brother was accidentally called Black Cock by a teacher during roll call on the first day of class in 8th grade. Permanent nickname right there.
My LAST name is two verbs that form one word, and together it sounds like a sex act. Things were not swell in the early years.
Steak and BJ day was a success. Fogo de Chao was amazing, all sorts of steaks, tossed in some pork sausage, chicken and "oh-mi-gawd to die for" lamb chop also. The salad bar was ignored, the card stayed green until I my place couldn't fit more meat and the servers asked "you sure?" We were there for awhile, I planned on meeting up with the girl after. Then I got the "Where are you? Why aren't you here? It's getting late, hurry up" texts, she sounded testy, not happy. Eventually headed over to her place. She was in her normal attire. "Time for bed, I'm really tired." Sounded really grumpy. I was hoping for the BJ part of the holiday, but I didn't push it.. Take off my shirt, pants, socks, get into bed. I move to kiss her. "Your breath smells, where is my gum?" I get up, on her shelf was a brand new pack of Orbitz Wintermint. I open it, she grabs the pack pulls out two pieces. Yay for sharing... Nope. She pops both of the pieces in her mouth, pushes me back down on the bed and commences completing my holiday. Holy. Fucking. Shit. That. Was. Amazing. It was the coolest BJ I have ever received. Has any of the ladies ever tried anything like this before? This shit was awesome. It will up your BJ game by 50%. I also did not have any reactions to it afterwards except for a pleasant tingling for 5 minutes after it was done.
As a dude with a funny last name I have to say the jokes never end. All you can do is try to use the jokes to your advantage, but considering it just ends up being completely self-deprecating it doesn't do you a whole lot of good.
Rim-Mung. That's your name isn't it. You're an old Tibetan sage to top it off. The only way people can make fun of my name is by calling me Tony and putting a stupid New York accent on it. This makes them look like an asshole. My last name is ye olde Engrish. Very debonair. Suck it. I'M IMMUNE BITCHES. Also, how can a movie with Michael "Risen Jesus" Fassbender and where Keira Knightley is spanked be so fucking boring? I just saved you 90 minutes.
One of the few places that has worked in my favor is sales calls where I have to go through a damn receptionist to get through to a lead. Make a lil fun of myself, get some laughs, and get in the door.
Also see Halls cough drops, my friend. (mentho-lyptus gives best results. YMMV.) They say "triple soothing action" right on the package, too, although they list three different things than what I was thinking.