No matter how many "km"s you ran, I still don't think that counts as a real distance at all. or Take ya bout 90 dem keelometers to get ya even 5 good ole' Murrrican miles.
Oh fuck, you're on to us. Next you'll discover that Canada isn't actually cold at all, the metric system just makes it seem that way. It's actually a tropical paradise, and we've just been beaming images of igloos and polar bears to dissuade Americans from travelling here.
Careful, one of these days we might just realize that we've got two directions left on Manifest Destiny.
We could have had Mexico. We pretty much gave most of it back and just paid for the part we wanted. I figured ghetto would jump in at this point and defend Canada. But speaking french renders one unable to defend apparently. ahh too slow of an edit. fuck it. i'm leaving it.
Welp, the girlfriend just left for work and won't be home until around 3am, and all of my drinking friends are skiing in New Mexico. It's a good thing that I have no qualms about drinking alone, because there's not a chance in hell I'm going to be sober on a St. Paddy's day that comes on a Saturday.
Mine is working late too, I just drove to New Hampshire so I could throw them back with my friends. It's been months since I really drank hard and I'm about 20 pounds lighter. Should make for an interesting (read: short) night.
You know what? I really am just a hater. I know this because Pintrest makes me angrier than Kony does. Any time you're more stirred to emotion by vegan mac and cheese recipes than child armies, you have haterade pumping through your veins.
Bah. You're right. But Kony can't receive my snide eye rolls and derisive comments. Also, I feel like a sexist hating on Pinterest, but I just can't understand 786 "pins" about wedding photography ideas.
God, I fucking slept like shit last night and couldnt nap after work. Im trying to go out but god knows any heavy drinking will lead to groggy passed out Kubla. Fucking going to waste a perfectly good Saturday Saint Paddys day. FUCK!
My girlfriend has seperate "pin boards" I guess they are called for wedding dresses, wedding hair ideas, engagement rings, and reception party ideas. Is there a hint or something I'm supposed to be getting here?
Yes, she has one for engagement rings, which means she knows what she wants, which means you better fucking let her pick her own ring, sir. Oh, and when it comes wedding planning time, just shut the fuck up and tell her what she wants to hear. Oh, and she wants to get married. Duh. Have fun with that.
Ugh. Sunburned. In a house with no aloe, and I'm getting picked up for dinner in about 30 minutes. I don't get the Pinterest thing. The girls I know who are heavily involved are stay at home moms who obviously have nothing to do when their kids go to school. It's probably what they do while watching Ellen or whatever soap. These are the same women who become really indignant and defensive if asked if they're working. "Being a mother is the more difficult job because it never ends!" Yeah, it's true, being a parent takes a lot of hard work, etc, etc. However, it's hard to take these people seriously when you see them making a dozen Facebook statuses daily and repinning lots of stuff of Pinterest.
There are... alternatives to aloe... Or are you still going to make him pay for dinner first? Come on. Special circumstances.
I like Pinterest because it gives me child-friendly arts and crafts ideas for work. Pre-Pinterest, a bucket of chalk and a driveway was the height of my entertainment agenda. Now we're melting crayons on canvas, poking Christmas lights through a cardboard box, and making ruffled socks for dolls. I will forever be grateful to Mormon moms who have way too much time on their hands. I don't understand the wedding shit or the thinspo shit though. I always feel sorry for those people.
Have y'all heard Taylor Swift's new song from Hunger Games, "Safe & Sound"? I'm not a Taylor Swift fan, but that song is pretty awesome. It's not about teenage romance or whatever the hell she usually screeches about. The litmus test for the song was when I realized that everytime the song came on the radio my parrot would start singing with it. He never sings to recorded music. The only time he's ever sung to music is when I drunkenly grab my guitar and my mouth makes sounds that somewhat resemble a tune; he'll flap his wings and vocalize in his own little language while his "Dad" procedes to commit crimes against music theory and humanity in general. So take his gold seal of approval of the song for what it's worth. He has a brain the size of a walnut and has been subjected to years of me caterwalling like ill cats copulating. In other news, I survived my latest concussion. It was only a week or so of stumbling around with vertigo and babbling about devil children inhabiting my bathroom. I'm still not convinced the latter was just my concussion....someone used up all my toilet paper and I know it wasn't me. An elephant doesn't shit enough to use 27 rolls of toilet paper in a week, and besides that they don't wipe. (Do they? Correct me if I'm wrong and please provide a video link. Wiping with a stump would be fascinating.) Devil children is the only explanation for the missing toilet paper. And the huge pile of shit in my shower. I sure as hell didn't do that.