I absolutely 100% agree with that statement. For me personally, the reasoning behind it falls under an umbrella of experiences. I got married fairly young, and had only been with one person before my husband. After he and I seperated I got my slut phase on. I experimented and I grew more comfortable and confident sexually as a result. I didn't experience my first strong orgasm until I was 26 years old. By then, I had discovered enough about my sexuality and my body to actually ask for what I needed, and stopped expecting my partner to just know. I'm also in less of a rush to just find an orgasm, and more in tune to enjoying the sensuality of that specific encounter. I'm more likely to writhe and purr under a sensual caress than just grab his hand and put his fingers where the business needs doin'. That kind of shift in focus has definitely lead to better, more intense experiences, and I think some of that may be hormonal. Instead of the hot i-gotta-statisfy-this-now rush of the younger years, I'm finding myself more into delaying gratification and exploring sex more fully as I approach my 30th birthday.
I think that, like most things in life, it's a combination of factors. I think it's partly experience. I started experimenting with myself in high school, and I had my first orgasm when I was 16. I didn't have sex, oral or otherwise, until I was 19. So, even though I knew my body pretty well by then I didn't know what worked with another person. For me, having sex was very different from masturbating. It took a little bit to figure out what worked and what didn't. And, even though my first boyfriend wasn't a virgin, he wasn't very helpful...or patient. That definitely didn't help things. Also, I'm going to tie in education with experience. When I was young I thought that I was "supposed" to get off just from penetration alone. My friends and I were all starting to have sex at about the same time, so none of us could really turn to each other for advice. I'm not sure if any of us really knew what the hell we were doing. Part of it is confidence and being sure of yourself. I think most people naturally become more confident as they age. I feel a lot better about myself and my body than I did 10 years ago. Back then, I was worrying about what I looked like, if my body was at the right angle, and I was so worried about my boyfriend's pleasure/perspective that I wasn't really letting go and experiencing everything myself. All of that self-consciousness and doubt made me hold back a little bit. Orgasms were fewer and farer between back then because I wasn't secure enough to let go and lose control with someone else. Now, I don't care about those things as much. Sometimes shit happens during sex, and it's not the end of the world like I thought it was back then. A few months ago I queefed during doggie with my boyfriend. When I was 19 or 20 the sex would've been over and I would've been so embarrassed. We both started cracking up (because, really...queefing is pretty funny...) and changed the angle. Part of it is that I've noticed a trend with guys. When I was 19 I dated a 19 year old. When I was 22 I dated a 25 year old. Now, I'm 28 and dating a 37 year old. I definitely wouldn't have been in a relationship with a 37 year old when I was 19, and I have no interest in dating a 21 year old now. The point is that my dating demographic (or whatever) is shifting as I age. From my experience, the guys are lasting longer as they get older. I didn't have time to have an orgasm with the 19 year old because it's almost impossible for me to come in 20 seconds, which is about how long he lasted. As the guys have gotten older, they've been able to have sex for longer, giving me more time to come. I don't know if that's hormonal or they have better "tactics", but it's appreciated. Thanks, guys!
This. I find that at times (especially if I've been drinking my scotchy-scotch) I will last a lot longer than usual, and the longer the sex goes on it's not like it's going numb, but more like it's getting 'desensitized' to the sensation. When that starts to happen I will even get to the point of not even really being hard anymore. The worst part about it is that The Girlfriend will think that it's her fault, like she isn't turning me on enough, when that couldn't be further from the truth.
I would really like to add to this thread, but I traded my vagina on Kijiji for a pack of smokes and a discount coupon to the go-carts. I wasn't using it, so I figured I may as well get something for it. It's gone to a good home.
Have you tried talking to her about this? Open communication so is important. So many people nowadays have low self esteem it is not even funny. Having insecurities suck, especially when it comes to sex. I would have never have done about the loss of sensitivity until one of my ex's brought it up. He also told me that as soon as he gets off his dick becomes really fucking sensitive, to the point that if you so much as touch it the wrong way it hurts. Is that true too? Holy fuck, I feel like I am in sex ed...
Regarding the numbness/duration question, I've personally never had a numb feeling outside of being too drunk. I also don't remember the last time I've only had a one-off and that's it, though I don't always stay completely hard between sessions. As the years have gone on (this thread made me realize I'm over a decade into my sex life!), I've found a fairly reliable way to last. Basically, by breathing more and relaxing my stomach/crotchal muscles (along with thinking non-sexual thoughts, but that only goes so far), it doesn't force things as much, and I stay hard from the awesome sensation alone. It's been a while, but in the past I've definitely reached the 90 minunte mark (not including foreplay), but that doesn't mean full-out thrusting the entire time. Changing positions, holding deep and grinding, pulling out to titty and/or mouth fuck, having some water while she rides me, and a bunch of other things can make it more of an event than just humps. If I do it right, and don't get too hot and sweaty (a sure way for me to NOT come), I can go as long as nothing cramps up. One thing I can say in complete sincerity, is that if the girl is on top I can last as long as she wants. I've only orgasmed twice in my life having a girl ride me -- once was when I had first started having sex in high school, and once was a couple years ago because the girl was just that hot. Always thought it was just a gravity thing, and if I'm wearing a condom (I wasn't in those two instances), I'm positive I could go until the girls' hips hurt. I assume this is the same for at least some other guys?
I'll go ahead and agree with you and all counts here. If she's on top, we could go on forever. If my tool is wrapped up, again, it could go on a while. Also, I'll second that being drunk and losing sensation after a while comment, but if the girl is good enough, there's no problem whatsoever. As an aside, I think the longest I've gone is around 80 minutes of rough, all kinds of positions sexy time. She literally couldn't walk for a good part of the next day, so we stayed in bed and had some more fun. And it's been mentioned before, but I don't think any of the TiBette's have been asked, if a guy can't finish, do you take it personally? Like do you think it was something that you did wrong or anything like that?
Yep, I get that too. Maybe not to the degree that you mentioned, but definitely enough that I'm not going in for seconds anytime soon.
I do take it personally if the guy doesn't get off, unless he's super drunk. I try not to. I try really really hard to tell myself that there could be a bajillion reasons not related to my performance that can lead to him not coming. But in the back of my mind there's always that niggling 'guys ALWAYS get off, is he not that into my sex?' thought.
Crazy, I'm the complete opposite. I mean, it does get more sensitive, but in the best way possible. Discovered this in high school when my girlfriend said she wanted to try something she read in a magazine (always a good thing to hear from a girl, in my experience), and started going down on me a couple minutes after sex. It took a while to come, but she didn't care, as, based on my reaciton, she could tell the magazine was right. Also, a girl tasting herself off me is pretty much the hottest thing ever (outside of her tasting me off another girl, of course...a guy can dream).
I get super sensitive after I get off. It can be way too much where I have to tell the GF to stop doing sucking because I'm afraid I'll lose control of bodily functions. And as far as a girl tasting herself off you, yup. Completely agree.
I think there is a miscommunication on this board between people with irregular sex partners and those in relationships. At least that's my personal experience. A session with a fuck buddy might last.... 20 minutes? 25 on a good day? But it's an all night thing with a serious partner. And besides the chick with the peter north partner, I'm pretty sure 90 minutes is a mix of things and not straight up non-stop penetration. There's foreplay, oral, sex, making a sandwich, eating the sandwich, fucking while eating the sandwich...
I almost always pull out so a girl can suck me off until I bust*. One time last fall I banged a junior blonde girl at her apartment then went over to a freshman Asian girl's dorm where she blew me. Then in the spring I went from banging a freshman brunette girl in her dorm to pick up said blonde girl at a female friend's apt. and brought her back to my place, where she proceeded to blow me (took literally two hours for me to bust for the second time, as I was exceptionally hammered). Neither time did the girls think my cock tasted funny, or they just didn't show it. When these girls get back to school in the fall I must pull the bang-the-freshman-Asian-then-get-blown-by-the-freshman-brunette** to complete the rock-paper-scissors of boom-bust/bang-blow cycles. The three girls all happen to be very talented in the art of dick-suckery. I know, I know, cool story bro. *Exceptions are where the girl doesn't give head or I bypass this stage to go straight to facial. **Technically they'll be sophomores by then.
OK, I am late to the game today (fucking job) but personally I am counting foreplay from first moment of kissing to actual penetration of penis into vagina, so that encompasses all sorts of stuff. 20 minutes seriously doesn't seem that long.
I get that as well, but in my case, I'm uncircumcised which makes the head ultra sensitive, even more so after finishing. Heck, I've had several oh so fun follies due to my natural state. Ladies, please for the love of all that is good do not just pull the foreskin down all the way. That hurts. Also during bj's I've met ladies that just like to concentrate on the head, which leads to it getting uncomfortably sensitive, and then numb. As far as the time issue, now that I'm older I actually like a sexual escapade to last, even with fwb's or even someone met at a bar, whereas when I was younger it was more about quantity. With some exceptions, usually liquor fueled, I'm going to to take my time and unwrap you like a present.
My man likes me to gently lick his cock after cumming, definitely nothing firmer, as it hurts after. After a very strong orgasm, I need a minute or ten to recover before anymore stimulation.
Like everything else I'm sure it varies from person to person but this happens to me, although usually only when I cum in a girl's mouth. When I cum in a girl's pussy or ass I can leave it there with no issues but when I cum in a girl's mouth, it becomes incredibly painful if I don't get my dick out within a few seconds of finishing my orgasm. The heightened sensitivity only lasts for around a minute or two though, after that I'm good to go.
And we're all super impressed and happy for you, bro. You may have noticed that, like pretty much everyone else in the thread, I was trying to answer questions (sensitivity) and offer tips (duration) more so than just flat out brag. Second to the large amount of female input, that's what's making this thread rule so hard. Congrats on all your college sex, but plenty of us have had sex with two girls in the same day (some have probably even been with three!). I wasn't talking about tricking a girl into tasting another girl's juices off of me, I was 'dreaming' about having a girl taste me off another girl, meaning a threesome. But I guess that wasn't clear when I wrote "...outside of her tasting me off another girl..." Mmm, sex sammich. Looking back on personal experience, you're mostly right. When I think back to awesome marathon memories, the majority have been with girls I'm at least exclusive with, if not in a full-out serious relationship. Although the last couple years my fuck buddy relationships have sorta changed, in that we no longer drunk text at 2am for some sloppy sex, we actually plan an evening where (usually) I have the place to myself and can make it a full night of fun. Even still, the last time I broke the 90 minute mark was a couple years ago with a girl I was dating. This whole sexual self-consciousness thing is yet another reason I'm glad I'm a guy, as I'm certain I've never been self-conscious about anything, including my weird things and skinny chicken legs. If it's a one night stand, it could be the booze or it could be you, especially if you're chubby (not trying to be mean, just honest). If it's a guy you're dating, don't worry about it at all. Like others have been saying, just talk to him about it. It could be many things not related to you, like you said, or you could be doing just one little thing on that particular night that's throwing him off and for some reason he's not explaining it. Or you're chubby.