Does anyone know where the closest woods are to Las Vegas besides Mount Charleston? Without going into great detail, I am fucked. Myself and my bird can survive in the woods, in the desert not so much. We might get thirsty and/or bit by a snake. Or a scorpion. Or by something equally awful. I'm thinking of heading towards the equator and keeping the sun over my shoulder. That seems to be a pretty solid plan. The world is going to end on 12/21 or thereabouts isn't it? I only have to seemingly be part of the lunatic fringe for a few months. Then I can spite the Mayans by...I don't know...being something other then not alive. Why the fuck did I ever think coming to Las Veags was in any way, shape, or form a good idea?
I expect everyone who has ever been to Vegas has asked themselves that same question. Then they leave. Which you can do, too. You know that, right?
Quite. Woke up at 6, just got back from walking the dog 3 miles, changed into my gym clothes, and now waiting for my shitty gym to open at 8 a.m. I figure I'll do a little cleaning before I go, hit the gym, hit work at 11, done at 6, eat some pizza with the wife, and check out 'Newsroom' tonight on HBO. Plus there's a Phillies double header today AND THEY'RE ONLY 8 GAMES BACK!!!!! SMELL THE COMEBACK BABY!!!* *By 'Smell the comeback' I actually mean 'watch the phillies get within 3 games of first and suddenly realize that they're not that good since they're missing half their starting lineup.'
I haven't had a drop of alcohol in 2 weeks and I won't be drinking until, at the very earliest, Friday. Someone kill me now.
I just had some in my omelet, fucking delicious. Im going to an outlet mall with my male roommate today, as the girlfriend is working this weekend. Its a little gay but whatever.
I would kill for an omelet with guac right now. That, and a different GI tract. I had the most kickass dinner last night, and I am paying for it now. Totally worth it.
I'm not sure if my birthday weekend has been perfect because it was actually good, or because I set the expectations so low anything was going to be a win. But I'm now old and I'm okay with it. I also did my first shotski last night, and kissed one of my coworkers bye on the lips because she has zero boundaries.
Webster's definition of "Irony": When a cheating wife gets jealous of the women that her man-on-the-side is talking to. In other news, I took Li'l Bandit to the beach yesterday, and I'm sore... So very, very sore.
I sat in a kiddie pool all day yesterday (which was originally purchased for the dog to frolic in on hot days), drinking beer and vodka (both of which we left floating next to us in the icy water). If that's not trashy, I don't know what is. But today, my tan looks great and I'm not even that hung over. I've accomplished nothing other than a Mad Men marathon. I love her.
You would have to post photographic evidence to support your dubious claim in the bikini thread. Or I must, most regrettably, have to believe you are leading us astray from the facts by giving us false information.
So I ate some fresh cooked beets tonight to test out the whole "red pee thing". Instead, I discovered that beets have a laxative effect. It looked like someone with Ebola threw up in the toilet.
The Alabama Shakes are actually pretty cool. Jimmy Page is a fan of the band and has been known to show up to their gigs. I was surprised to discover that the singer is a woman. I mean, it's not that surprising at all, the voice does sound distinctly feminine, but for some reason I assumed it was a man the whole time.