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St Patty's Day Drunk Thread NSFW

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by shegirl, Mar 14, 2014.

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  1. happyfunball

    happyfunball
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    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

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    Don't forget the fake hair dye if you're going grey. That's looks completely natural.

    I was asked to serve as a Commissioner for our swim board and went to a meeting last night to check it out. I walk in and there are 9 of us total. Me, a guy in his 40s, and 7 guys over 60. It was the definition of boys' club. They were all very nice to me though and then one guy tells me he has cancer on his leg. And he starts to show me. I'm thinking calf or knee or something. Nope. He backs up, spreads his legs and shows me his upper inner thigh groin area. I think even his friends were like, "what the hell are you doing?" I couldn't look at any of them because I wanted to laugh.
     
  2. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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    I've heard those women don't put out.
     
  3. shimmered

    shimmered
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    They do. In the butt. Then they're still virgins.
     
  4. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    I love that loophole. "I need to remain a pure snowflake for my wedding night. So, only my ass. Then I'll blow you."

    Outside-the-box thinking indeed.
     
  5. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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    [​IMG]
     
  6. iczorro

    iczorro
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    Jesus, you guys can leap to some conclusions when you don't have enough detail. No, I'm not insane, no it's not going to be a military type marriage (if it gets that far), no I'm not getting married young and then filling a dependapotumus full of brats.

    I happen to be deployed right now, making this a rather extremely long distance relationship. But it's the same effect as if I was 9 or 10 hours away and could only fly to see her once every three months. Main difference is, the separation part has a definite and soon end. I get to be home with her for all of June, come back here for a couple weeks to qualify for my end of contract bonus, and then home for good at the end of July. How June goes will determine my path at the end of July. If everything goes well, I move to MN (I don't really have a home base right now to go back to, but she's in MN, and so are my folks) and do my first year of general studies at North Hennepin CC. During that year I live in an apartment for the first three months. If we're doing good after that, I move in with her. If things stay good for 6+ months, we get engaged. At that point, we will have been together for over a year. Seeing as we're both sensible, intelligent, responsible adults in our 30s, I think we'll have a good idea by then if we're good to go for the long run. If I get accepted into the Viticulture program at Cal Poly SLO, we move to CA. We get married before we move, 'cause her Mom doesn't travel. Money won't be a problem during school because of the savings I build here and paying for school/housing with the GI Bill. She's a nurse and can work anywhere.

    It's planned out long term, but we both know that it could be stopped by either of us at any point. That it might just fizzle out and not work at any point. But over the last 4 months of daily nearly constant conversation, yeah, future has been discussed and broad strokes of plans laid out.
     
  7. toddamus

    toddamus
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    Yea, we get it, you're a special snowflake and none of us can understand. Hope things work out for you.
     
  8. Noland

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    I'll give credit where credit is due. He has a hell of a lot more planned out than I ever did. I went with the "I'm gonna give this girl a ring, hope like hell she says yes, and then some stuff will happen after that" plan.
     
  9. gamecocks

    gamecocks
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    So you are insane. You will be moving to her area after knowing her for a month, then possibly planning on moving in with her after 3?
     
  10. iczorro

    iczorro
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    No, I'll be moving back home to where I grew up, seeing as I don't have a home in the states after being in AFG for a year plus. I have known her since I was 13, but we only reconnected last year. And we'll have been dating for about 10+ months by the time we move in together.

    I never said I was special, or we were special. At least, not any more special than every other person or couple that believes their relationship has a chance to last.
     
  11. Currer Bell

    Currer Bell
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    You're moving in with your parents? And your girlfriend is 13? And you have a 10 month old? You are out of control, man.
     
  12. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    That's a good point. They get a bad rap. You never hear about the other way. I mean, since they fluctuate like that, half the time the price goes down instead, and the jeweller will refund you your money. Ha ha ha, just kidding! I remember seeing a list a number of years ago, and an update version not too long ago, for industries with the biggest mark ups. It was like diamond jewelry, cosmetics and furniture. There was a mix of restaurant beverages, bottled water and designer label clothes in there somewhere. The myth comes from facts.

    Ashpalt contractors and PVC pipe contractors or anyone with petroleum-based products, manufacturing industries that rely on raw materials that include iron or rolled steel, and restaurants that use fresh produce come to mind.
     
  13. shimmered

    shimmered
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    On your side - your age and established careers. It helps with perspective.

    Against you - pretty much everything else.

    That said, if it's satisfying to you and you're getting what you need, fuck it. Ain't none of us here who can or should judge or make you doubt that.
     
  14. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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    The commitment-phobe in me was having heart palpitations by the middle of your second paragraph.
     
  15. Chellie

    Chellie
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    Disturbed

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    Zorro, I sincerely hope your Dependapotamus still lets you frequent this board in 3 years, so we can watch this relationship as it crashes and burns, and link you back to this thread.

    In all seriousness though, if your family lives there, why the hell not move to the same town as her. 10 months of dating isn't an unreasonable amount of time in which to make a decision that you want to pursue a future with this chick more seriously. I personally would give it more than 3 months before moving in together, but our opinions are probably worth less than the proverbial $0.02 to you. Just make sure she's not poking holes in the condoms.
     
  16. shimmered

    shimmered
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    Please please please let her name be Jodi.
     
  17. toddamus

    toddamus
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    So long as she lets him pee standing up and lets him see his friends, I'd say he's doing well. How soon does she want kids?
     
  18. iczorro

    iczorro
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    She has a 6 year old and wants no more kids. She said if I ever wanted my own bio kids, I should date someone else. She has an IUD that's good for another few years.
     
  19. shimmered

    shimmered
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    Better double check that string when you fingerbang her.
     
  20. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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    An unrelated-to-your-relationship piece of advice - do not deep dick this girl. Ain't no pain like an IUD-slammed-into-your-cervix pain. And there ain't no buzzkill like a woman's tears.

    Edit: You're right, toddamus. That was cheap and uncalled for. My apologies.
     
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