Well, this was random. So I was out for a walk, and a group of 6 black kids, aged about 18-22 start walking behind me. They follow behind me (not doing anything and I didn't think anything about it) for about 4 minutes and then one of them pulls out a pistol and shoots at the sky. They all then sprint past me and one of them throws a cigarette at me (and misses from about 3 feet away). I'm not mad about it or anything like that. Just more like, 'Who the fuck would do this and why?' If they were trying to scare me, why didn't they gang up on me and make threats or something? Also, it's not very terrifying if you just run away from someone immediately after you do your 'scary' thing. Just so fucking weird and random. In other news, fuck working on Sundays. Thankfully this is the last week of this shit, and our deadline will be done and I can get my weekends back. It takes a special kind of asshole to tell people how to raise their kids. It's none of their fucking business. I know this is way easier for me to say not being in that situation, but seriously, I would tell them to go fuck themselves. If they want to cut you out of their lives, and they're really that fucking stupid and bigoted then it's their god damn problem. Actually, I would take it a step further. I would go out of my way to tell them just so they would stay out of my life. Just my opinion, but you shouldn't do anything differently with your children because other people, especially idiots, are going to be upset about it.
Let's make this easy. He's your kid, raise him how you see fit. If grandparents want to get in the way of that, tell them they can shut the fuck up or get shut the fuck out. That's it. Done. There is no "Well, it's my wife's parents..." No. Your kid, not theirs. All kids invariably go to their parents to ask about the greater questions of God and death and life. Tell them what you think, what others think, let them then make their own decisions. They will later on in life anyway, might as well talk to them like a reasonable person instead of planting resentment. It is not difficult to teach your kid not to be a bigot. Everyone knows Uncle Ralph is a racist asshole into teen porn and never to go to the cellar alone with him, societal issues are no different. If they can do it San Francisco they can do it in Texas. Also, move out of fucking Texas.
"Listen you dingbat old codger. If I EVER hear you telling my son about your 'God,' I will bury you in a Jew cemetery after you die so help me 'God'"
This only furthers my theory that you are originally a ginger. Covering up much? Either way, you're a lot more humorous than most regulars (and also you're a female, and a regular) so I can't rag on you too bad... natural ginger or not.
If I'm reading it right, your family is Baptist and her family is Catholic. If that is the case, there is literally going to be no pleasing everyone. Someone is going to get their panties in a bunch, so might as well skip options B and C and go straight to E for everyone.
I've stolen so many souls over the years that the freckles have merged to approximate a tan of sorts. As for the question at hand it's been stated well enough already, Bill Hicks has a great line on it, he is talking mostly about drugs but it works for anything.
An old college buddy of mine was raised Southern Baptist in LA (Lower Alabama), married a Catholic girl and subsequently converted. Apparently the holidays are fun at their house. On more than one occasion I've channeled Redd Foxx from Harlem Nights and told him that must be some serious pussy to make a man change Gods. He doesn't think that's as funny as I do.
Ok, so take home messages from last night. Cocnut Boone's is actually pretty tasty. My husband makes a good bouncer. I can impress ladies with not just a flower, but by pulling up the whole plant and swinging the roots around like a drunken chimp. I don't wanna stay out til 5am when I have work in the morningeveragaingodhelpmeshiiiiit
I don't want to jump the gun in the Dead Pool thread, but Fred Phelps of Westboro Baptist Church is apparently on his death bed. I could not be happier. Not only did I have a blast this week, but now the cherry on top for this awesome Sundae (HA!). Fred Phelps is the kind of asshole that no matter what your beliefs you kind of hope there really is a hell just so he can burn in it. He brings people together, that one. I also cannot wait, CAN NOT WAIT, for picketers at his funeral. It will be so fucking delicious you know it just has to be fattening.
Phelps is too stupid to be dangerous. Therefore, he was a joke. The ultimate shameless attention whore who like Michael Crook said the most horrible things possible to be famous. Even regular Baptists thought they were nuts and that really is saying something. It kills me that the local police have to assign extra platoons to protect them at every single one of their protests. Why to they get special treatment? Fuck it. Let them exercise their freedom in total, unprotected freedom like everyone else next time they show up at a soldier's funeral screaming about what a gay AIDS fag he was for getting shredded by an IED. Stop spending taxpayer's money and let them get beat to death. It would be hilarious, them dying at the hands of "weak fags".
And so the week of moving is upon me. This shall be fun. By 'fun' I mean 'want to beat my wife with a plastic spork for micromanaging me.' Good times, good times. Thank God the boobie and booty threads are alive and well. It may be the closest I get to naked women for a while.
As long as you're moving you might as well move into a different house than your wife and tell her to piss up a rope. Then you might get to see a vagina again one day.
I'm just shocked that extended family would even OFFER their opinion on what religion to raise your child without being directly asked. Is this a bible belt thing? An American thing in general? Just wondering because I know Americans are generally more religious than us Canucks.
I think in-laws being shitty and judgy is a rather universal thing. I mean, I could be wrong about this, but I'd be willing to bet a handful of loonies that, if they ever get the chance, at least some of my extended family would be more than happy to offer advice as to the salvation of the eternal soul of my offspring. Or the salvation of my own eternal soul, should I ever be in need of advice about which denomination of minister will officiate over my wedding. Both sides of my family are Catholic. My dad's side has remained Catholic. My mom's side has pretty entirely switched over to Protestantism, and not the mild, waspy, Anglican version of it. More like its creationism, homophobia, misogyny and anti-vaccine conspiracy theory wing. Which is intensely odd, because my grandparents remained Catholic and had Catholic funerals but all of the baptisms, first communions and weddings for my cousins, aunts and uncles were at Protestant churches. The only time I remember any sort of tension or discussion about this was for the wedding of my last single uncle. They wanted to get married in a Catholic church but couldn't because his wife (also from a Catholic family) was divorced and couldn't get the marriage annulled. But then, this woman is a creationist and vaccine conspiracy theorist, which is a rather unusual trait amongst Catholics. Despite being Dutch Catholic immigrants, mom's side always was more waspy. Wherever there's bland food and a paucity of alcohol at family gatherings, Protestantism lies in wait.
Like there's a "proper" way to waste a Sunday when you could be doing yard work, beer 'n' sports or masturbating. People raising kids need to focus on the "Right now" and not the "What if". You won't see me ignore the bath salts addict breaking in my back door to go fight the Boogieman in my daughter's closet.