I know what I'm going to do after finals and it sure as hell doesn't include going to the Spearment Rhino in Santa Barbara. Our Spearment Rhino blows. The girls aren't even that great looking, and it's so small and sleazy. Imagine walking into a trailer and you would get a feel for this rustic masterpiece. There are maybe 15 black seats full of blotches in front of the stage. The stage is roughly 8'x8' and it contains a single pole that's attached to a ceiling not nearly high enough for a stripper to do anything interesting on it. On crowded nights, you would see people lining up against the side of the walls since there is no place to sit. The interior designer also covered the walls with laminated wood so it makes you feel like you're in a basement. On any given night there is only 1-2 hot girls there, the rest are used up and have horrible boob jobs. Hell they might have gotten a few of them off Hailey St because some look like men. You would think Santa Barbara would have a better strip club / strippers but nope. At this establishment, you can buy your O'Douls, and other non-liquor beverages (redbull) for 9 dollars.
I have a guy on my hockey team that is gullible and entirely too nieve. We were in Vegas for a beer league tournament so we decide to go to a strip club for some fun. The rest of my teammates and I are having a good time. Relaxing, having a few beers and such. Our teammate is having a fucking great time. He's throwing out cash like he's Pacman Jones. The stripper keeps telling him how much she likes him, and because he's stupid he believes her, and because he's stupid this gets him to shell out more cash. When the rest of us get bored and decide to leave we take our teammate with us. He was reluctant to leave because he said he really made a connection with her and wanted to stay. The next day we are getting ready to skate when we notice our teammate has this sad, disappointed look on his face. We ask him whats up and he said he didn't know where she was. We asked him what he meant and he said the stripper said she'd show up to his hockey game the next day. Uh huh. Apparently he had given her number and fully believed she would show up.
I grew up in Sin City, and let me tell you what: everyone in a strip club sans owner are SUCKERS. My close friend used to date strippers exclusively, but they were all whackos. For your money, aim for cocktail waitresses first. Else, you will get fucked in the hiney one way or another.
The one and only time I went to a strip club, I made money. Some drunk guy backed into my car and left a dent in the plastic (or whatever the hell my bumper is made out of) rear fascia. Security stopped him, got all of his info and gave it to me. The next day I got an estimate and faxed it to his insurance company. A few days later, I was driving down the road and the dent popped out for no reason; just disappeared. That non existent dent cost the insurance company almost $800.
First time in a strip club, was actually in a full-nude cabaret. Le Crazy Horse Saloon in Paris, France. My brother and his few friends were cool to go with; my parents, however, were not so much. Fortunately the waitress was quick and I downed enough vodka tonics to gainfully start a potato farm, and more importantly, forget my mother was sitting right next to me. Or that my step-father was cat calling the dancers (and almost getting us kicked out in the process). Most vidid memory of that night, aside all the perfect boobies, and my step-dad, brother, and I having a post-club debate on which dancer was the hottest, were the dozen or so Asian businessmen who came in mid-way through, fucking plastered, and started singing songs to girls they liked.
I haven't been to a strip club for some 3-4 years and a particular , though uneventfull incident led to me to realise what a waste of time and money going to them is. I used to sometimes go to a stripclub in Melbourne where the strippers were a little less mercenary in their attitude than most , there I used to bump into a particular girl and have a chat and sometimes get a dance. One night, I was out with some buddies at a bar and this chick comes up to me smiles and says Hi. I'm looking at her and thinking , who the fuck is this ? Her face was sunburnt from going to the snow and she was wearing an Acubra hat. Finally , I realise it was the stripper chick. We got talking and it turned out she had "retired" from stripping (in her early to mid 30s) and was now looking to settle down with a guy and "move to the country" We swapped numbers and ended up meeting a week later for a beer and a chat. Granted , my "game" at the time was woefull , but nevertheless , she was boring and self centred (suprise, suprise) At the end of the night , we went our separate ways , I deleted her number and didn't hear from her again. Some months later I saw her picture and profile , while looking through a dating website.
Ah, strip clubs...the vile dens of nubile flesh. I'm not sure I even remember my first time at a strip club. I'm going to say it was when me and two other friends went on our summer venture to Canada when we were 19. Shit housed from bar hopping all night, me and my best friend ended up stumbling into this place...actually a decent place, full on nudity, good looking strippers etc..but we were both too intoxicated to function properly so we ended up leaving early. Military life spurred my first big leap into strip club excursions. While in tech training in Biloxi, Miss., me and a buddy from basic training hit a strip joint that was straight up depressing. A few poor souls sitting around, bored, washed up looking strippers who looked as if they were hanging to their last thread of life...it was an absolute miserable place. So what do I do? Give the girl on stage about $40 in her garter. I ended up getting stationed in South Dakota..and there were two strip bars in the whole city. Talk about absolutely filthy holes in the wall. The average guys that attended would be crusty biker dudes or meth head gangster wannabes. I frequented one of them and actually ended up banging one of the girls for a period of time. The strip clubs here in Cleveland aren't much to talk about either...but can be a good time when you least expect it. Last year I wandered into one after work and started talking to an absolute fine piece of work. Girl next door look, amazing toned body, and actually a well educated chick..not to mention she was a sex fiend. Got her number, we would meet up late nights after she got off and would blow me/fuck me whenever. She ended up moving out of state but am considering visiting her just to relive those nights.
The Gentleman's Club in Cleveland ain't too bad, granted that both times I was there it was about 6 pm and I was still dirty from work. But yes, I do wish you would go away....not to mention you are a douchebag.
A Muslim guy I know decided, one weekend, to be taken out to the rippers in Montreal by some buddies (I wasn't there). He also decided to get drunk, despite having (presumably) never drank, or at least been drunk, before that night. He regaled us with stories of premature ejaculation inside the club. I honestly have no idea why he told us this, but he was very open, and we loved him for it. Later, we tried to convince him that after getting drunk he went out and ate a bacon cheeseburger. The strange thing is that he only decided to go out to the strip club because he couldn't go home to visit his grandmother that weekend.