Riding the spin cycle. Flippin' pages in the loose leaf notebook (or paperback). Let your fingers do the walking (old yellow pages ad, anyone?) Feeding the bulldog. Checking the oyster for pearls. Sifting the clitty litter. Knocking the ball out of the sand trap.
Ugly girl sex Doing it right Playing the two string guitar Winking the whispering eye Petting Ms. Muppet Self spelunking
Mending the ax wound Breakfast sausage vs. Ham Wallet Ice fishing Fanning the piss flaps Cockless trenching Stabilizing the fault line Not sticking it to the non-Man Polishing the hood ornament
Did no one post this link yet? <a class="postlink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_masturbation_slang_terms" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_mas ... lang_terms</a> Guilding the lily Bailing out Fannie Mae Smoking the salmon Choking Justin Bieber
Examining the hanging chad. The failure at the cave. (When you'd rather have gotten laid, or when you did, but had to get yourself off anyways.) Digging for the Ark. Sending a telegram. Working the speed bag. Exploring the Bat Cave. Losing $20 in opportunity costs. Filibustering. How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.