The amount of time it takes for you to unlock a door grows longer with each person waiting on you. Double-bonus if there is inclement weather. You will come up with witty responses, but only longer after they could have actually been used. Your car will run like a dream, but only while at the mechanic's shop. The more you think about someone the less they will about you. The doctor will come into the examination room at the exact moment you grew bored enough to snoop around. Anything that requires a good night's rest will keep you up half the night with worry.
Everyone has one magazine that haunts the house. You can throw it away, but it always comes back. Bobby pins and expensive sunglasses will go missing a day after you buy them. That movie you were thinking about and saw a long time ago will be on TV within a week.
If your iPod is put inside your pocket for any longer than 3 seconds, the earphones have tangled them in such a way that it'll take a solid 10 minutes to get them right again.
Also: If you are alone in a seat yourself place, the next person/group to come in will end up sitting next to you, despite many-fold empty chairs. My old boss's brother had a seat yourself place, and tried a Mythbusters style experiment with this, and found that about 80% of the time, it was absolutely true.
The amount of time you spend in a lab/garage/secret lair working on something to get it absolutely perfect is inversely proportional to the actual amount of time it will work in the field. For example: 4 hours of tuning your motorcycle in the garage=6 minutes of riding time before your bike realizes it has an allergy to sunlight and pleasure. Two hours of fixing every imaginable software bug=fifteen minutes of usable time. Three hours to install, clean and prepare a grill=4 minutes of cooking, plus another 45 of cursing.
Two to three seconds after dropping a fart at your desk or workstation, a colleague or supervisor will approach with some question or query.
If you're in line for some sort of service like the post office, dmv etc... everyone infront of you will take forever. You will be done in 5 minutes or less.
If you are desperate to sleep on your plane ride, behind you will sit a kid that screams like a Ring Wraith being stabbed in the balls with a hat pin. His mother won't do anything "Because that's what he WANTS you to do." After a bar closes, at least ten separate dudes will walk out the front door randomly yelling "WHOOOOOO!!!!!" If you lock your keys in your car, the first question someone will ask you will always be "How did you do it???" At any W.A.S.P wedding at least one drunk couple will perform some kind of impossible-for-white-people dance feat (re: Dirty Dancing) that will end in injury and if you're lucky, death.
When dealing with people of a foreign backgound with English as a second (or third) language; you will struggle to communicate with them effectively, requiring that you repeat yourself, speak slower and bring the conversation down to their level. Even then, they will bust your balls with their lack of full attention, comprehension and understanding. All except when it comes to money. When it comes to money and financial gain; EVERYONE understands English.
When you go to buy sneakers and tell the shoe monger your size they will take 10 minutes to look for a pair in the back only to return and offer you a pair that is a size too large or a size too small.
The moment you think "Wow, I have so much time to get ready!" will trigger time to fold in on itself and then the next thing you know it, you're running late.
If you're whacking it to some unknown porn, the moment you start firing off, the camera will change to 30 seconds straight of some sweaty guy grunting and thrusting instead of the chick.
When you meet an awesome new girl/guy you are interested in dating, the minute you feel comfortable enough with how the relationship is progressing that you begin openly bragging about them or talking excitedly about them to people that aren't close friends is the minute shit goes sour. When you roll a stop sign in an empty neighborhood that you annoyingly stop at every time despite any cars being around, is the time a cop happens to roll around then corner.