What you should do is just kill them! Wait in the dark, and when you see them, jump out and slit their throats! Either that, or take a Super Soaker filled with gasoline and spray them down good. Then, light them on fire! Watching them run around screaming will be hilarious! Or, if you have a gun, you could just shoot them! You can make a suppressor out of a 2 liter bottle, so you won't even wake up your neighbors! Make sure you put two in the chest and one in the head so you know they're fucking dead for sure! Edit: Or even better yet, since you know where they live; sneak into their house and strangle them to death in their sleep! It'll be a real hoot and holler when their caretaker lady comes in and sees them laying there, as blue as a smurf's ass! LOL!
I'd just sit out front on a rocking chair with a shotgun listening to banjo tunage. Doubt they'd try stupid shit once they realized you had the capability of hunting ducks.
You could always write the kids a letter that explains why you are so angry with them and ask them to please stop being meanies. It's what the U.N. does. Focus: About 2 years ago my buddy's car was broken into and he had some stereo equipment stolen from him. A day or two later, his car got busted into again. This time they took a set of keys from the console and walked up to the other cars (mine and our other rommmate's) and tried to get in (we saw the footprints in the snow). After that my roommate spent the next week sitting in the dark all night, looking out a crease in the window blinds, and clenching a mag light. He was legitimately disappointed that they never came back for round 3.
Dude, your buddy had it all wrong. If you want to properly open someone's skull, you can't be wasting your time with those dinky little Mag-Lites. You need a fucking 6 cell Mag-Lite: Or a tire iron.
Well, its the middle of winter, so what I'd do is grab a super-soaker, fill it with some water and add some http://www.predatorpee.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=CTGY&Category_Code=FU (fox urine) to the mix, then when they're walking to school (Or getting out of their car if they're driven) nail them with the mixture. You could also break in their car window and pour the fox urine all over the car. Either way, fox urine is the way to go. If you really wanted to be evil, and you can find a picture of them, you could make up Megan's Law-esque warning signs saying that they're pedophiles and post them in playgrounds and elementary schools near their AO. Watch them get assaulted every time a mother sees them.
Sign them up with NAMBLA. I tried to do it to one of my friends as a prank but they need a lot of info. If you can get that info go for it. http://www.nambla.org/
The Rooftop sniper method always works. SLingshot, BB gun, or a supersoaker filled with bleach and piss. "Shut up and paint your goddman house!!!"
A friend of mine did this to a guy who was giving him grief at work. He didn't actually sign him up; he sent a small donation and requested information. He said that soon after, the local cops took the dipshit in for questioning. I am dealing with a somewhat similar situation: There are two yucca trees planted at the opening of my long driveway, and they are blooming. The flowers (big cauliflower looking things) are used in some kind of Mexican dish. The thing is, some asshole or assholes has been stealing them for decades! It would piss off my mom to no end. The last couple of years I've gotten sick of it, and I've tried staking out the location with my SKS to give those fucks the whatfor. But it seems like whenever I take my eyes off the plants to take a leak or go pick up/drop off my son, I miss the perps! So far this season, they have made off with two of them (my plants produce about 15 every season). I really don't give a shit about the flowers, but it is the principal. If the persons responsible would just come up to the house and ask for them, I'd let them have them. But no, they had to do it this way. Wish me luck folks. My ony other option that my lady friend (who hates violence) recommended was to poison them. I don't know what to use though.
Clearly this is what you're facing: Except, you know, instead of eating a bird they're eating yout yuccas. All you need is a squirrel-specific forcefield around the plants so they can't eat your yuccas while you're distracted with an investigation of a particularly short skirt on an even tighter ass. Also, since it's squirrel-specific your mother won't have to worry about electrocution and a hard fall when she tries to approach the plant diplomatically.
Well, she could camp outside of the house like a fucking psycho disrupting her entire life by spending countless hours watching the house. Or, she could just let a camera do it for her. Cameras are a good investment anyways. This particular situation is the perfect excuse to buy one (or more). She never knows when she'll need them again in the future.
When I was an undergrad in Tuscaloosa, a friend of mine was having a feud with her neighbors. So, one day she shot up their house. I wouldn't recommend this.