I didn't see this pointed out already . . . but since this thread is for teaching students to drink. You know how alcohol impairs your judgement? Well, that includes how effective you are at being sneaky. Assume that handful of tic tacs you popped and squirt of Visine right before you walked in is NOT going to fool your parents.
The best though is after you get home having drank so much of one drink that when you let one rip, the only smell that comes out is the smell of that drink and nothing else. Drinking so much that you are farting out a prefect vodka cranberry with all the strong notes of Stoli ... one of the proudest moments of my life.
I'm smashed right now but one tip i can give is if you plan on drinking then go to work, DRINK VODKA. Anything you drink no matter how much you shower before work will come out when at work and you will stench the room up massively. Vodka leaves no massive body stink the next day except BO. If you want to party hard and hide it drink Vodka.
Do not use Tylenol (acetaminophen) for a hangover, unless you're truly hellbent on destroying your liver. Ibuprofen or aspirin is fine, but Tylenol and alcohol going through the liver at the same time is bad news. If you have to try to control your drinking, it's out of control.
Your first few times out you may be tempted to get in an old fashioned dick measuring contest, just to test your mettle. Don't do it. I fell into this trap with a more experienced drinker. I was 6' and weighed around 205 with mostly viking bloodline, going 1 for 1 against a guy who couldn't have weighed more than 140. I quickly discovered that physical attributes and geneology account for next to nothing as a novice drinker. It was painful to my liver and my pride, mostly because I had talked so much shit. We still party together when I go on leave, and now it's a pretty even race until someone pulls out some crazy shit likes absinthe or we start doing shotguns, and then usually I win.
This applies to mostly club situations: 1. Eat before you get to the pre-drink, your only option after is going to be ordering pizza and having very little for yourself. You might plan on getting food after the pre-drink and before the club, but there's a 90% chance your going to drink for to long and not having enough time to get food. 2. As stated earlier start with the good stuff. 3. Start slow, do not take that double shot of vodka until right before your leaving, thereby reducing the amount of drinks your going to order at the club. 4. Take advantage of the one free drink at bars and clubs, Water. 5. Remember that pizza I talked you out of, well get it, or some other fast food, before going to bed. 6. Drink at least a glass of water before bed Optional: If you really want to smoke pot do it at the very end of the night, right before the food comes.
Things that would have helped me. 1. Don't pee outside in public places, you will probably be arrested. 2. If you have beer spilled down the front of your shirt and are 18, don't ask police officers if they had fun in high school, you will definitely be arrested. 3. Don't throw a crinkled up 20 dollar bill at a gas station attendent while running out with a case of beer because it is 11:05 and the mean Filipino girl refuses to sell you the beer because they stopped selling five minutes ago. Again, you will be arrested, that is, if the gas station attendant is a ninja and runs outside and sees your license plate. 4. Don't down a handle of Cuervo with one other guy within an hour, or you will lose your coat, phone, and wallet in sub-zero temperature and wake up in the morning ridiculously sick remembering nothing. 5. Last but most importantly, even though you're hammered, and may be right on principle, don't call out the large group of black men when you only have two friends with you. No matter what beer muscles you may think you have, 10 vs. 3 is not a good ratio. You will get your ass kicked.
I prefer to stick to the old adage "Beer then grass, you're on your arse; Grass then beer, you're in the clear". Get your bong on before you drink. It rhymes, it has to be right, right? Here is a pre-drinks game me and my mates play called 'Fuck the Bas', named after our Indonesian lecturer that we hate. It involves cards. You shuffle them, then lay the first card down. The 'Fucker' then has to guess whether the next card will be higher or lower then the card on the table. The idea is to guess 5 correct in a row. If you get it right, the next card is put down. If they guess wrong, they take a shot/gulp, and the next card is put down. Every time you get one wrong you have to start again. Needless to say, you can get pretty smashed pretty quickly.
Can't believe you guys missed such an easy one. Turn off your god damn cell phone. Especially important if you have recently been dumped.
Are you kidding me? Drunk dialling/texting are some of the funniest things to come out of a night of solid drinking. Hell, not too long ago, I (kind of) remember losing people at a bar, then the next thing I know I'm sending them play-by-play texts of the strippers from the club just down the street, complete with video and pics. (iPhones will get you killed when you're drunk in a strip club, I swear). The next day, not only was I surprised I was still alive, never mind made it home in one piece, I didn't remember half of it.
I always make it hom in one piece, no matter what. Never failed, I'm smashed now. But I always manage to piss off friends when drunk dialing. Only ever do it when obliterated and incomprehensible. That last word took five minutes to spell, I'm quite proud of myself for that.