Passing out generally is. Focus: Do crippling emotional injuries count? Reading this thread makes me feel so... bland. Aside from various bumps and bruises, the worst I have is having my back look like it was ravaged by a mountain lion. Guess it's time to step it up. Time to find the saber saw
Way to paraphrase. What happened was I was staying with my then girlfriend at her parents' place for about a week in January 2003. One of the days where her parents went out (didn't happen much according to her, since they had a home office), she wanted to have sex. So we get undressed and she moves to my lap and moves awkwardly with her hips, crushing my dick with her pelvis. Awesome. Purple stripe across my dick, pissing razorblades for at least 4 days... and she was disappointed I didn't perform better after nearly breaking my dick. My one and only foray into sex, thus far. It helps that most women in the city where I live are awful human beings, so it doesn't come up much, since I am REALLY NOT attracted to any of them. Like samr, I'm pretty clumsy (I've fallen over just standing up before), so I imagine this sort of thing would've happened a lot more if I'd been more sexually active. I believe the words I used were "not likely anytime soon" were the words I used to describe when my next sexual encounter would be...
I'm trying to recall me actually seriously injuring myself during sex, but I really can't. I've never broken anything as it is, I'm pretty hardy. I do remember, back in high school, I was with a girl who's lips that sucked those Dyson Ball things. Terrible for hickeys, almost every time we hooked up I'd get at least 3. I got annoyed with them and told her that she could do whatever she wanted as long as it wasn't on my neck, which was fine. I end up going home that night and go straight to bed. I get up the next morning, go to take a shower, take off my shirt, and literally jump a foot in the air when I see my chest. Holy shit, it seriously looked like somebody had beaten me the previous day with a stick, the bruises were huge and they were literally EVERYWHERE. I had to be that kid that wouldn't take off his shirt in gym class for the next few days so that nobody thought I was being physically abused. Weird thing was, from what I can remember, she wasn't a bad kisser or anything.
Worse I've gotten from fucking is raw knees. I was living in a basement apartment carpeted by shit we stole from the bank. That blue carpet was like iron. My knees looked like mini-pizzas. I had to crawl into my car to go to work while my roomies watched.
I'm not the most coordinated guy ever - so I'm surprisingly low on major injuries. I've given myself major abrasion burns on my elbows while leaning on a bar mat, trying to pull the girl behind the bar. I've given myself very unpleasantly placed wrap-welts while practicing with a single tail whip (note to people learning to use whips - always wear pants) I've given myself rope burn on my hands a bunch of times. Now injuries inflicted on other people....
I've never managed to injure myself (apart from emotional trauma, my standards have been known to drop under the influence), or anyone else during sex seriously. I did manage to interrupt coitus memorably once, though. If you've ever been on a cruise, you know how small cruise ship showers are. I've wondered how cruises remain so popular among obese people considering there's no way they can bathe on ship. A couple years ago on a cruise the girl I was hooking up with and I got tired of the tiny bed and the tiny couch in the stateroom, so we decided to try out the shower. I don't know what possessed me, because I normally don't like shower sex to begin with, but this was ridiculous. It took us forever to find a position that worked until I basically held her up against the plastic wall opposite the shower head. We managed to get a decent rhythm going and I bumped the temperature control behind me. The water scalded my back immediately, so of course I started yelling and danced around the shower avoiding the water all the while holding the girl until I managed to get the water off. The whole situation was too ridiculous to continue sexing, so that was it for the afternoon. I guess I'm lame like that.
Standing shower sex seemed like a good idea at the time. One person slipped and we both went down hard. She ended up with a bruised tailbone and goose egg on her head. I twisted my ankle and chipped my tooth (her teeth were victorious). It's always awkward now when other girls ask why part of my tooth is missing.
This happened to a friend of mine as well, he bled quarts of what he said looked like almost black blood on his pool deck and hot tub from it. Since then, his nickname is "Yam-kind" (taken from the "deformed" wrestler Mankind).
This was given to her by me. My girlfriend at the time (about 3-4 years ago?) had discovered what we thought was a great variation on doggystyle. Basically, it was regular doggystyle except she would hold her hands out behind her where I could lock onto them and pull on them on my upstroke for added leverage. There is a downside to this though, and that is she is basically complete at my mercy. Also, I get sweaty palms. So we were positioned so that her head was in front of the headboard of the bed and I was behind her. Well, my palms got sweaty and one of her hands slipped out on an upstroke so I essentially catapulted her head first into the headboard. Minor concussion. This next one I probably shouldn't be telling people. So I happened to be having sex with a girl a bit on the heavy side (she had big tits, fuck you). I made the mistake of fucking her standing up, holding her up in the air. Even though I only was able to keep going like that for a minute or so before I tired out and put her down, my wrists have never been the same. To this day I have issues with tendinitis in both wrists. Never fully recovered. Anytime I pick up something heavy in the wrong way, I re-aggravate it. It fucking sucks. All for a fucking fat girl.
Technically pulled this one off while getting ready for sex just recently. I was shaving my head (clipper not bic) like normal and went to clean up the groin area once finished. Apparently one of the guard pieces of the clippers were bent and I managed to catch a fold of my scrote in there. It hurt like a bitch for about 10 seconds until the shock set in. Next thing I know there is a 1cm gash in my sack (thankfully not very deep). The worst thing about it is thinking how that just happened; A tiny pair of knives moving in a scissor fashion just chewed through my ball sack. If you think getting period blood on your cock with mess with you... In the act, nothing really more than a flying knee/elbow to the face.
I wasn't really injured, but one time a girl slapped me in the face during sex. I stopped and asked her what the hell that was about, and she said it was so I wouldn't cum and would last longer. I guess it worked, because I had to fucking stop and ask why the hell she slapped me.
I was in Qatar on a rest and relaxation trip three months into my deployment to Afghanistan. I had not had sex, seen a titty (porn is not allowed in Afghanistan), smelled perfume, or had any even slightly sexual moment in three months. I lived in in an open-air hut with five other Marines, worked twelve hours a day every day, and shared two community bathrooms with a couple hundred other Marines. Add to that that I had not had a drop of alcohol in three months, and you'll understand that I arrived in Qatar one horny motherfucking lightweight. The first night there, my friend and I went to the bar. To keep servicemen from getting wasted fresh off the battlefield, the base had a policy where each individual was allowed to purchase two tickets a day, which were good for two drinks at the bar. I wanted more, a lot more. We rounded up enough tickets from non-drinkers so that we could each have about eight Tuborgs a piece. We smoked hookah, drank our beers, and told dirty jokes for hours. There's probably two-hundred people in this bar, and maybe ten of them were girls. Attractiveness isn't all that important at this point. I drunkenly approach a ginger that I had spoken to while getting a pedicure that afternoon. Yes, while getting a pedicure. Thirty minutes later... My pants are around my ankles. So are hers. From the back. Never thought I would be fucking a girl I can't remember the name of behind a bomb shelter in Qatar. One nut. Let's keep going. Sweating profusely. She's drying out a bit. Hasn't said anything. Whatever. Three more months after this. Keep going. Add some spit. This is not very comfortable. Must finish. Aaaaaand I'm spent. I awoke the next morning with a solid hangover, tasting sex and smelling like ass. I walk to the bathrooms, turn on the water and lay out my towel and clothes. I go to take my underwear off... AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! Apparently, I, in drunk and horny enthusiasm, had managed to fuck myself raw. And the scab had stuck to my underwear over night.
Happened to me: I once got carpet burn on my knob, turned into a huge scab. Looked kinda like I had dick leprosy. Happened to her: I cooked a curry for dinner and went down on her for dessert. Chilli juice must have still been on my fingers. The passion takes a nose dive when your woman is sponging her pussy with milk to take the edge off.
There's been the generic injuries - toothy blowjobs, falling off beds, cutting up bird's eye chilis and then fingering a girl, etc - but the one that stands out was during my nitrous phase. For those of you with all your braincells, nitrous is basically laughing gas, and one day at the end of a ridiculously long drug bender, I thought that timing the nitrous hit as I came from a blowjob would be a genius plan. Well, after a few failed attempts (when you are only half hard anyway, breaking your concentration long enough to focus on the cracker, and then zoning out for 10 seconds, can set you back about 10 minutes) I managed to do it. Slight flaw in my plan - I was standing up at the time, blacked out, and somehow I fell in the most acrobatically perfect way as to hit my head on the sharp iron corner of the bed. I don't recall the next bit, but apparently I actually had a seizure of some kind on the floor, shaking uncontrollably and not responsive. When I woke up, I actually felt pretty good, and didn't understand why the girl was hysterical. Overall, not an experience I've tried to repeat.
Um, I reread this a couple times. Did you mean she finished with a dildo inside her instead of you inside her? Or did you mean she finished with a dildo inside her instead of inside you?
I've kneed a guy in the jewels while changing positions to doggy style, fallen off the bed in transition to another position, and whacked my head pretty good on the headboard before, but none of those are as good as the first time I tried anal. The first time (and the only time thus far), my boyfriend at the time and I were naive enough to think that KY warming massage oil would be good enough as lube. We're going at it, I'm starting to think that this feels kind of good... and then it starts to hurt a little bit too much. Then, wow... that really hurts. Oh lord, that burns. Then in a strained voice, he asks me if I'm okay. I told him that no, it kind of burned. At the time I was living with a super-conservative virgin with whom I had to be very secretive and quiet when I had a guy over - the boyfriend and I ended up in the shower, me howling in pain. I really didn't care what she had to say about it. The burning didn't subside for several hours, and seriously put a damper on me ever trying anal again. I remember standing in the shower, yelling "It BURNS!" and him doubled over laughing. Prick.
A few years back I had a couple cock piercings. Nothing too serious, just frenums. Me and an ex were getting pretty hot and heavy and clothing was getting ripped off. She grabbed at my boxers and pulled hard, one of the strings had found its way to wrap around the piercing. So when she pulled, all that pressure went directly into pulling out the piercing... And I screamed like a little girl for a second. Flipped on the lights and saw that the ball on one side had been pulled through to the middle of the piercing. Thank god I was drunk otherwise I'm not sure I could have done this, but I decided I wanted to keep it, so I unwrapped the string and quickly pushed it back into place. took a couple seconds to recover and continued.