I believe there is a spiritual dimension to us that is every bit as real as our physical and emotional/psychological selves. Some are just better attuned to it than others and it can be different for different folks, and still others never discover it or dismiss/deny it. In my case, it took a severe life crisis for me to start what has become a spiritual journey. I got to a point where life had no meaning, I felt no sense of purpose and kept questioning what the point of it all was. It was a textbook example of existential angst. I've come to understand spirituality as a sense of collectiveness, that I am a small part of a much greater whole, but connected. I do believe in God, but have little use for religion (though others have successfully used religion as a path to spirituality). I also believe that things do happen for a reason and that I don't have to understand the whys all the time, I just have to accept them and do what I'm supposed to be doing at that moment. Plato said, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is struggling." We're all in "this" together, and I believe part of our purpose is to help one another when and where we can. You also touched upon a really important point with respect to showing appreciation and not taking things for granted. That's gratitude, something I was sorely lacking. Anything good that happened in my life happened because I busted my ass for it and deserved it or was entitled to it (both of which were bullshit--I rarely busted my ass for anything and life doesn't owe me a thing). I was never satisfied with what I had (though I feared losing any of it), always wanted more, better, etc., which became a horrific cycle and led to a pretty miserable existence. I've found it's hard to be miserable when I have an attitude of gratitude. A real simple example: I've always hated doing yard work, but today, I really don't mind it, because I'm grateful I have a yard to maintain (and actually have come to enjoy it). Oh, and I also love myself. Sometimes, 3-4 times a day.
The things I love are a few people, my dog and the moments when I achieve complete focus on anything. Running, math, writing, fuck, even waiting tables. If I get into the zone with anything, I'm having a great time and, when the moment passes, I'll know that pursuit of that feeling would keep me alive even if I lost everything else. Spiritual side: I'm proud of my accomplishments and ashamed of my failures, each to whatever degree they merit. I'm only grateful for the things other people give me. Shit happens, I've never sensed a shape to it. What good things I have I made my self, and am proud of, or was given by other people, and am grateful for, or got by chance and have no feelings for. I do not anthropomorphise chance, and even if I did, chance would not be my friend. I've lost as many coin tosses as I've won. I've just happen to have won some important ones.
No, some of us just don't need an emotional crutch. Religious/spiritual people never seem to get this, and start saying things like “not attuned” and “denial of your spiritual self” why is it so hard to believe that someone can have a frosty zero where you have the sky fairy and still be a normal and good guy. I’m happy to leave religion alone until people bring it to me, then all bets are off. Back on topic. Everything gives me pleasure, we were raised to enjoy the world and be in it. Too many people live in a past they can’t change or in a future they ultimately can’t control, these people are generally miserable. Being able to enjoy and be in the now is to my mind one of the most important keys to happiness. Having a hobby you enjoy and takes patients & some grey matter is a cool thing to have, for me that entails brewing some of the best beer you will ever taste. Do things for others, I’m the guy who will be the first to volunteer to help you move house, it also means I’m often the first one who gets a call when there’s a problem . The more you put yourself out the closer you draw your friends to you. In the end it’s all about friends and family, cool toys come in second. I will also cut people loose if they are an unmitigated disaster and give me the shits one too many times. Some people will just always bring you down, in the end life is much better without these people in it. Also these assholes make forming good friendships harder, they are like life anchors. My younger brother has several of these types of mates, one recently shagged his girlfriend. One more thing, have 1 holiday a year, preferably to somewhere warm in the middle of winter. Saving for this type of thing is good for the soul. (Which doesn’t exist) Sorry for the length, I was born that way.
I don't say it often, or really at all unless in jest, but I love My Guy. We work together, live together, and play together, and there's almost zero argument. We've been connected since the day we met in a way I've never seen before. Our relationship has every reason in the world NOT to work, and he's got every reason in the world to find a 'better' fit, but goddamn if it isn't one of the happiest, most equal and well balanced, honest relationships either of us have ever seen. We're partners, friends, playmates, coworkers, companions, and lovers. I love my kids. Each has his/her own little quirks and personality...I can see them growing into truly good people every day. I'm a coach/trainer. I own a CrossFit affiliate and have the privilege of helping people change their lives daily. It's been amazing and humbling to hear the stories and see my clients' progress. I look forward to my time with My Guy, my kids, my horses, and baseball. Watching my boys play baseball brings a smile to my face. My oldest boy is a beast on the field, and watching his development has been nothing short of amazing. My youngest boy is still working out the kinks, but seeing his face when he hit his first homerun...LOVE it. I totally agree with the statement in question. The things listed above are what drive me every day.
I'm not saying you can't have a "frosty zero." People are free to choose and believe what they wish. Mine happens to be a holistic belief inclusive of a spiritual dimension to our being, borne out of personal experience. Viewed this way, it's no more of an "emotional crutch" than maintaining a positive attitude in the face of serious physical illness (and if you don't believe attitude impacts outcomes, I can point you to numerous research studies conducted on the subject). I certainly wasn't attuned to it my whole life. In fact if anything, my religious upbringing did more to block any approach to spirituality than it did to cultivate it, hence my making a distinction between the two. However, I do know that I'm living a more purposeful and fulfilling life today and I'm a lot happier as a result.
I love my friends, family and cat. I have a handful of friends with whom I enjoy doing anything or nothing at all. And, my cat is always happy to see me walk in the door. Whenever I'm home he's on my lap, making me pet him, or laying down next to me. I secretly love it. I love helping, educating, and empowering people. This sounds cliche, but it's really rewarding and makes me appreciate everything I have, even just independently walking or sitting upright. Getting to know young people confined to walkers and wheelchairs or who have brain injuries has changed my perspective on life tremendously. I will never forget ultra-sounding a woman's foot the first few weeks I was tech. She started crying because that day she flexed her toe for the first time in months. It was something really small that meant a lot to her since she couldn't walk normally/without pain. That, and more experiences like that, made me certain I wanted to take this career path. I love learning, being active, and enjoying almost any form of good entertainment. Of course I agree with the statement. Without people and things to love we'd all be worker bees.