Bob Barker - bum ticker Bush Sr. - bum ticker Mary Kate or Ashley (whichever one is the anorexic) Olsen - starvation Johnny Knoxville - planning/filming of Jackass 4 Julian Assange - 'unrelated illness' TIB: Samr - a nice drunk night out shootin' takes a turn for the worse Frebis - anger related heart attack Ballsack - perma ban (does this count?) RCGT- Jack Bauer'd Dcc001 - her 'friend' ends up killing her in a fit of rage because she won't put out after leading him on for almost a year.
FOCUS: Muhammad Ali: You can't hit what you can't see. And you won't be seeing much more of the Champ. Let's get this one over with. LiLo: Mysterious circumstances. Coroner's report inconclusive. We may never know until all her doctors have joined her. Such a TRAGEDY. Immediately becomes leading gay icon. Margaret Thatcher: Haven't heard much from her lately. Aggressively mourned by Glenn Beck and the Tea Party. Doug Stanhope: There's always one great comedian on the list. Overdose, probably on downers, possibly on airbrush propellant. Bob Barker: Remember to spay and neuter your washed-up corpses.
Thems is fighting words. The only person I knew who was a Dvorak Devotee was convinced that despite ingesting truly industrial quantities of meth and pot at the same time, he was the smartest person alive. My douche-dar went off every time he got within a quarter mile. Celebrities: (I have no idea, these are just random guesses) - The aforementioned Michael Douglas - Steve Gutenberg - Ernest Borgnine - Michael Gambon - Maggie Smith On the board: - Nettdata: I have no idea how he will get it, but his last words will be "fuck, gimme that, I'll show you how you use one of those!" - ballsack3.0 ragequits from life itself. - Hotwheelz: Autoerotic asphyxiation
Real life: Andy Rooney - Stroke Ray Bradbury - Heart attack Rosie O'Donnell - Accidental gunshot. Paula Deen - Kitchen mishap Al Franken - Plane crash TIB: Kimaster - Kidnapped by aliens. Ballsack - Kidnapped by Demons.
Alt Focus: Hotwheelz: Rolling through a rough neighborhood, gets chairjacked. Decides he ain't goin' out like a bitch.
How about a reason? On second thought, no don't. We really don't need TiB going down as an Al Qaeda affiliated site.
They can parade her corpse around for more cash than she generates alive, in rehab or banging dubious dykes.. They should do a body cast though, for adult toys.
Willie Nelson: Explosion as a result of bio-diesel and an unattended roach. Fred Phelps: Murder by a dead, gay soldier's lover. I can't believe he's not dead yet. If not him, then... Someone from the WBC during an all out, West Side Story brawl with GLADD. Michael J Fox: Electrocuted while playing Operation. Here's an easy, unfunny one: Aretha Franklin: Pancreatic cancer is a hell of a cancer.
Celebrities: Tila Tequila (probably overdose, please overdose) Bret Micheals (one more aneurysm will do him in) David Arquette (drunkenly pisses on an electrified fence) Jeremy London (either overdose or he crosses the wrong negro and takes a bullet to the teeth) Pete Doherty (he has been on every one of my death pools for years - maybe this year'll be lucky) Disclaimers: 1) I know you can't really electrocute yourself by pissing on an electrified fence 2) I'm not racist in any W, S or F - I just love the word negro in a comical sense 3) I know most of you neither know nor care who Pete Doherty is and if I wasn't a Dlisted reader, I probably wouldn't either.
Larry King - People so tied to their careers often just give up on life once the job's done. Brett Favre - Same reason as Larry. Michael Moore - Heart attack brought on by obesity and getting too damned worked up about everything Kim Jong Il - Dies while conquering the last genre of film he hasn't already mastered: snuff. Andy Kaufman - Just to fuck with us.
Serious: Sean Connery Sylvester Stallone Robert Duvall One of the Rolling Stones John Madden Hugh Hefner (I've had this one on my list seriously my entire life). Hopeful: Octomom and her litter all perish in a Winnebago accident Ke$ha in a freak masturbation accident with an electric hammer and a hot-tub Also, if makeup turns out to give women cancer, Katy Perry and Nicky Minaj's time should be up soon. The case of Jersey shore HAS to catch some melanoma or something more dangerous than herpes soon.
Randy Quaid OJ Simpson Michael Douglas Dick Cheney I want to put down Busey but I believe he is a cockroach who will live forever same with Keith Richards. I dont want to put these last 2 but I feel age (and natural causes I might add) will take them: Don Rickles Mel Brooks
For those that said Zsa Zsa, shes having her leg amputated for cancerous lesions. http://www.cnn.com/2011/SHOWBIZ/01/03/zsa.zsa.gabor.amputation/index.html?eref=mrss_igoogle_cnn We might have some winners soon.
1. Snooki - Someone punches her a little harder than last time. 2. Pope Benedict XVI - Slips on some leftover alter boy jizz and falls right down the stairs. 3. Lady Gaga - Gets trapped in one of her shitty dresses or outfits and falls off the stage. 4. Bruce Jenner - Can't keep up with the Kardashians anymore. Heart Attack or is talked to death. 5. Ozzy - Time catches up to the Prince of Darkness. What won't kill him? Probably dies from massive heart failure.
Bob Newhart Lindsay Lohan (ODs on drugs) Ron Jeremy (Heart attack) John Goodman Justin Bieber (murder/suicide by a crazy fan)
Larry King - Stroke Barbara Walters - Gang shooting Hugh Heffner - To the horror of his new 24 year old wife, I'm sure, heart failure Ke$ha - God's will Nettdata - While sailing solo across the Pacific in a ship he built himself, on his way to climb Mt. Everest and hang glide down, he encounters a ferocious storm. Still, he decides to prepare himself a gourmet meal. Unfortunately, as a giant wave smashes into his boat, he loses concentration for a split second and makes a fatal mistake in his complex spaghetti sauce recipe, resulting in him accidentally poisoning himself.