I thought it might be at least fun, dumb and entertaining like Magic Mike. I wasn't expecting greatness, just fun. I'm OK with wasting $5.50 on fun and stupid. It wasn't even that.
So I guess you, my wife and every other Western Society female is already in line for Magic Mike XXL.
Through a complete quirk of fate, I wound up spending Valentine's day studying cardiac pharmacology. Great sense of humour there, universe. Also, for those wondering, the tampon excerpt from 50 Shades: Spoiler His breathing is ragged, matching mine. “When did you start your period, Anastasia?” he asks out of the blue, gazing down at me. “Err… yesterday,” I mumble in my highly aroused state. “Good.” He releases me and turns me around. “Hold on to the sink,” he orders and pulls my hips back again, like he did in the playroom, so I’m bending down. He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string… what! And… a gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet. Holy fuck. Sweet mother of all… Jeez. And then he’s inside me… ah! Skin against skin… moving slowly at first… easily, testing me, pushing me… oh my. I grip on to the sink, panting, forcing myself back on him, feeling him inside me. Oh the sweet agony… his hands clasp my hips. He sets a punishing rhythm – in, out, and he reaches around and finds my clitoris, massaging me… oh jeez. I can feel myself quicken. “That’s right, baby,” he rasps as he grinds into me, angling his hips, and it’s enough to send me flying, flying high. Whoa… and I come, loudly, gripping for dear life onto the sink as I spiral down through my orgasm, everything spinning and clenching at once. He follows, clasping me tightly, his front on my back as he climaxes and calls my name like it’s a litany or a prayer. “Oh, Ana!” His breathing is ragged in my ear, in perfect synergy with mine. “Oh, baby, will I ever get enough of you?” he whispers. Will it always be like this? So overwhelming, so all-consuming, so bewildering and beguiling. I wanted to talk, but now I’m […]
Oh, it's a LOT worse than terrible. It's a testimony on how many stupid people exist. Remember: there are millions of people out there who DEFEND that excrement as "good writing". If there is a single book that is utterly indefensible, it is that. I don't know what's dumber: that it was published in the first place, or that it became a cultural phenomenon. Right now I'm reading the board's book of the month Blood Meridian which I've never read. It's good. Really, REALLY fucking good. When I read that above quote from 50 Shades I....I just plain CAN'T. The line in the sand between good and bad published authors is wide enough to swollow Saturn.
I know you want to believe that. We ALL want to believe that. But it really is that bad. But it's so bad it's fucking hilarious, like Showgirls only more detached from reality. Reading it out loud (especially while on mushrooms) is a fantastic way to laugh yourself sick.
This is the mobile link and I'm sure it's been posted before, but this is Gilbert Gottfried reading passages from the book. http://youtu.be/XkLqAlIETkA It's pretty much amazing.
I never got the Kanye hate. He's an asshole, sure, but way less so than a lot of other rappers. In terms of his music, he has done a lot to elevate hip hop. From Reddit: "I say this to a lot to people. Kanye isn't in-and-out of rehab or jail. He doesn't carry a gun or associate with gang members. His songs don't promote crime or violence. He's not flashing his balls as he climbs in and out of his sports car for free press... he's not even a man whore. He's had like 2 girlfriends in 12 years, one of which became his wife and the other, he loved so much, that when she left him he wrote an entire album dealing with his broken heart. He writes about working hard and following your dreams. He sings about love for his family, falling in love, and starting a family of his own. He doesn't sport colors or sag his pants so his underwear shows... he wears high fashion, and tries to look good. He's confident in his ability as a musician and artist and he's open to the world about his innermost thoughts. You can't ever say Kanye isn't 'real'. Kanye says "be yourself, follow your dreams", and people hate on him." f you had the time or patience you could probably find a ton of celebrities that have done worse things than kanye that don't get an automatic flood of hate every time their name is mentioned."
There's only something like 20 minutes worth of sex in a 2 hour and 20 minute movie (FSoG). I haven't seen it, and refuse to spend money on it. But yes. The whole book is written just like that. LOTS of murmuring. Lots of down there. Lots of "Inner Goddess" dialogue. And horrible sex.
Feel like this is perfect for the WDT: Last Friday (13th), early that morning my step-brother got his third DWI. Third. Now the tiny inheritance he is gonna get from his homeless, , drug user, alcoholic mother is all going toward legal fees in order to (hopefully, for him) reduce his jail time. The drunker I get, the more I just wanna go to sleep. Seriously, how do you get THREE DWI's?!?
In this day and age, my question is how you even get one. DUI has no excuse, no defence. You drove your car drunk and risked the life of every person you passed in that time. Cab rides or DD companies don't exactly break the bank.
Why do you have to like ANY asshole? He may be way less of an asshole, but he's still an asshole. Fuck him. I don't care one way or the other about his music, but I have absolutely no time for him as a human being.
I could not put that better. Focus on what he is: an utterly vile egotist, sawed-off crybaby who acts like the vessel through which God speaks. An attention-whoring cunt who could have any woman and chose to marry the greasiest brain-dead whore in California. An anti-intellectual fuckwad who pretends he's some sort of otherworldly, higher state of being who transcends what's right or wrong and believes he can act out how he wants, when he wants. Anybody who can still find the despicable little shit likable is either blinded by celebrity or in factually nuts. It doesn't matter how good you think his music is. I wouldn't wipe my ass with him.