Jesus. My cousin and his wife had us over for dinner. The conversation is currently the intricacies of artificially inseminating pigs. Yes, we're still eating. Yes, they're talking about how swollen the sows were. I did not bring enough beer.
Hence the "of course". Actually bought three sweet potatoes today at the market to make fries. I like themUCH better than regular French fries. Served with chipotle sauce? Damn son.
Wow. Ribs, bacon, pate, sausage, 30 minute orgasms. Is there anything the noble pig cannot do? "When the penis is 'locked' in the hand and the boar relaxes, a four-phase ejaculation follows in a few seconds, taking 5 to 10 minutes to complete." Phases? This sounds less like sex and more like some kind of mining operation. I also laugh heartily at the zoologist major who ended up jacking off pigs for a living. Their tombstone should read "Give us a hand, will ya?" All he wanted was to study animals, maybe work at the zoo, but here's a jug of KY, lube up that plastic vagina this'n here pig's going to jackhammer. Contact is on Cinemax. Made the mistake of sort of watching it. I never realized how many jokes South Park stole. "Wait 2 hours to see some aliens and it turned out to be her fuckin' father." Got me thinking. There are no doubt civilizations millions of years more advanced than us, probably eradicated suffering and strife millenia ago. Meanwhile on earth:
Fun Fact: If you live in a state that legally allows you to chum deer, a pick up load of sweet potatoes strewn all over a field will result in a fish in a barrel situation.
Fun fact: if you live in texas, it already is a fish in a barrel situation. Around here the population is so dense deer are considered more of a pest than anything. The local home depot devotes a good portion of their pest control area to keeping deer off your lawn and out of your shit.
It was the same in Mississippi, you were allowed 5 a year. Back in Idaho it was hilarious. Folks actually buy shit to feed deer at Wal Mart. Bear in mind we had a huge influx of people from California that actually think feeding the deer is a good fucking idea. (It's a horrible idea) I worked in one of my buddy's hardware stores a few years back and people were constantly asking me how to keep deer out of their shit. (Hint: There is no effective way) I ended up telling folks to go to the local butcher and get cow blood and pour that around the perimeter of their garden. It will keep the deer away. But you may have a bit bigger problem with the bears, cougars, and wolves that are drawn to it. My buddy told me to knock that shit off.
There are some "deer proof" plants you can buy where the deer don't like the scent or something about it. I've had to change my landscaping to all that. For gardens we just have to put a really high fence around it and usually surround that with electric wire. It's nothing for me to walk outside ad see a 6, 8, or 10 point buck just chilling in the yard by the door. Scares the shit out of me in the morning.
Heh. I'll never forget the day in Mississippi I was sitting there and my parrot started freaking out screaming. That wasn't unusual for him, but he kept it up for so long I finally checked what he was freaking out about. A 14 point (Southern count) buck was standing there just staring at us through my living room window.
Growing up, my only experience with sweet potatoes was sweet potato casserole which involved pureed sweet potatoes with a brown sugar crust on top and melty marshmallows. The first serving was delicious and after that it was a no go. Currently I like sweet potato chips(bbq or regular) sometimes. I haven't experimented much with them, but I think I tend to like it in savory dishes where the sweetness can cut through the savory. I've made this one several times: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/bobby-flay/smoked-chile-scalloped-sweet-potatoes-recipe.html I also added it to chili one time and enjoyed it.
'Nerds isn't joking; there's a bay-side community called Port Mansfield down here, and deer are just walking all over town. I've enclosed some pictures of Li'l Bandit that were taken in early 2013. A few months later I took him back, along with a couple of my nieces, and there were 8,10, and 12 point whitetail bucks just struttin' around without a care in the world. If you were slow and calm, you could actually walk up to them and grab their antlers (briefly). Some buddies and I had a plan to rent a house there, then bait some deer into the garage, slam the door down, and pop them in the head with .22 rounds, or just nail them in the head with arrows at night, but we haven't done it yet. Texas Fish & Game officers are always on duty around there (it's a fishing village), and there's only one road out of there. Spoiler Spoiler Li'l Bandit approves of this photo! Damn, this was only taken about three years ago, but he looks so much older now...
Happy Birthday to me, motherfuckers. It's been snowing like a son of a bitch for the past hour, and I just got out of the hot tub... which I needed, as I've been building shelves and roller cabinets for my new shop all day, and I'm old and out of shape and now sore. Needless to say, I'm pleasantly drunk, she's passed out on the couch in front of the fireplace, and I'm heading to bed. Merry Fucking Thanksgiving you Idiots!
Not quite. I'd shove my foot up your ass for being an insolent prick, but it's already full of cock, isn't it, convict?
Wait a minute there, Leghorn. Haven't you posted a zillion times how the Man was fucking you? Was that a euphemism?