I had to work from home today. The price is right is being delayed so that the tv can tell me Clinton won't be charged. While this is all interesting I really want to see what Drew Carey is up to. Bad day to work from home.
They get their water from Florida? Between the Olympics and the Republican National Convention, this is going to be the trainwreckiest of trainwreck summers. Couple that with the heat indexes soaring, the whole world is going to be Florida Man. Aliens observing us will mark 2016 as a turning point to keep us out of the intergalactic community. "They killed Prince, then each other." Edit: Because Baby Jesus wants us to be happy. See you folks in 10 minutes, I have, uhh, work.
It's going to be people up to their knees in gore and blood, and Rio is going to get even worse, how on Earth is that possible?
Crazy Bride is back. She has started a Facebook group for her wedding and added a bunch of people (some of whom aren't even invited to her wedding, funnily enough). The only comments so far in the group are hers, and they all say the same thing: "Please add pictures here for us to see on our wedding day/night!!" No indication if she means she wants us to post their wedding photos online, or photos of them prior to the wedding, or photos of ourselves, or photos of prostitutes eating eucalyptus from the asses of koalas. She also added a hashtag that has no Twitter activity associated with it because she doesn't know how to internet. I'm tempted to give you all the hashtag and let you have at it.
This reminds me of wedding photo stories. I have two older sisters that got married in consecutive Summers and after I got my first college degree, I was in college another 3 football seasons to get another degree. So, for a period of about 5 years, I went to and was a groomsman in a fuck ton of weddings for relatives and fraternity brothers. It was probably only about 15 but it felt like 50. Anyway, this was also right around the time (before digital cameras, kids!) when those disposable Kodak cameras were big. And, "the thing" to do was place a couple of those things on the tables at receptions and encourage guests to capture all the fun. Then, the bride's mother would develop them later and WHAT FUN! I can only assume (and hope) many of these negative rolls were burned. Because, boy, did we take some pictures. I know for a FACT that at least two different of these weddings feature the close up hairy buttholes and various mooning photos of groomsman. At one, three of us got tired of waiting for the bride and groom to come out of the church to the limo. We were also tire of not having beer. So, we climbed in the limo, told the drive the bride's mother said there was a delay, and how about running us up to the store. He did. We took at least a roll of film of the convenience store clerk yelling at one of my brothers for eating a hot dog off the rack. I also know of another couple at another wedding that took one of the cameras back to their hotel room. We weren't even that creative, so I am sure that there were others that did this. I'm sure there was more nudity on those things than pictures of Aunt Sally cutting a rug with little Billy or whatever they were hoping for. ETA: I forgot to wrap this up. When we got back to the church in the limo, the bride and groom (and everyone wanting to wish them off) were standing outside the church waiting for us. We sort of stumble out of the limo with toilet paper and beer cans spilling out. The groom is looking at us like, "yep," the bride was just of smiling, but the bride's mother just about melted the tires with the hate lasers she was staring at us. Good times. I handed the two cameras I had to my buddy and he just walked over to the mother with three of four of them and gave them to her.
Fuck it. I don't give a damn. She actually posted two. Feel free to trend on both with the vilest shit you can post. #rizzowedding2016 #rizzowedding16 There are actually links (if you google those hashtags) to other peoples' weddings. Crazy Bride and Pwned Groom are not amongst them.
I had some friends that thought this was a cute idea. The Bride's mother developed the film and was greeted by numerous pictures of my balls, at many different angles.
Shoving a convenience store insta-camera down my pants doesn't really constitute my idea of "fun". Maybe that's just me. I prefer the drunken titty-flash selfie in the bathroom during the reception.
Some more traditional labs wouldn't process the prints, but when they took them to the 1 hour places? Awesome flip books. For one wedding, I wasn't sober enough to remember it all, but I know one camera featured several pictures in a series we'll call "what happens to the maid's rolling cart when it falls off a balcony."
I think people are doing the reception Photobooth thing now. THAT would make for some great photobooth shots. I'm sure they "how many groomsman butts can we fit in the booth" shot is popular, too. Considering all those websites like Awkward Family Photos and Selfies Gone Wrong or whatever, I thought there would be a Reception Photos Gone Wrong one. Not really what I was thinking, but found this: http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/192071/40-of-the-worst-wedding-photographs-youll-ever-see/
Iowa man jailed for shooting fireworks at 4 a.m. and telling police he'd shoot more fireworks “with a blunt in his mouth because this is America.” When asked to take a preliminary breathalyzer test, he responded “that he would take a preliminary go [expletive] yourself test.”
When your name is Quinnlan, you gotta compensate somehow, I guess. This is why I live in IL, but work in IA.
Maybe it is just you. Nothing says thanks for inviting me to your special weekend like taking some special shots of myself.
Who would have thought navigating Immigration and security in a Chinese airport would be easier than anywhere in the US?
I would've assumed that, but maybe thats just me. Has anyone visited China and enjoyed themselves? I seriously haven't heard one person say China was an amazing place and visiting there changed their life.