THE 2016 4th OF JULY WDT REALLY NSFW

I know a dude with a hairpiece that snaps on. To snaps in his head.

 

Wait. He's got snappy dermal implants!?

 

Have you ever wanted to walk up to him and just rip it off?

 

I mean. Gives new perspective on pearl snaps...

 

100 degree heat in the summers and you're crazy to have anything longer than a buzz cut. I can't wait until I bald (more) because that'll mean I have to cut my hair.

On an unrelated note, my wife taught our 2 year old to say "boobies." And now he points to women's tits and laughs. I... I don't know what to think.

 

I couldn't resist. Just once. It would be so satisfying.

I just cut two inches off my locks this afternoon. I'm definitely not balding but if I was I'd have no problem rocking bald.

 

Well my son looks just like my brother so the running joke is she fucked him.

She doesn't think it's funny. We find it hilarious.

 

No.

 

Well, in the past few days, Shim, Angel and Audrey all talked about being bald, too, so you'd fit right in here.

And, no, I never felt the urge to rip it off. Laugh and point behind his back, but no ripping. He's about 35 years older than me and a Marine, so I show him a bit of respect.

I never fucked RotN's wife either. Uh, that I know of. But, I did write a children's book called "All The Lovely Boobies." Maybe he saw the manuscript that I mailed out. To like TWENTY publishers and never heard back. If you can believe that.

 

SEE. that's what I said. What's the point of having hair if you can't get a boner?!

 

Sure, why not? Not like I'm doing anything currently productive with my libido as it stands...

 

Male pattern baldness is a raw deal. Most of my friends have lost at least part of their hair and I haven't. I have hair any network anchorman would happily blow me on air for. It could deflect small arms fire. I consider myself lucky.

But a decreased libido? Pass on that fucking shit. Take the wheel, nature.

 

I think I misunderstood the question. Is it be bald and functioning or have hair and can't get it up despite pills? Clearly I've never had ED so I don't quite get how bad it would be to have to take pills to get a hard on.

 

But at least it still stands.

 

I think either Bill Maher or Dennis Miller said "I have writers and they're funnier and smarter than me, but you'll never know who they are because I have the hair and they're a bunch of bald losers."

Women ARE attracted to bald men. All you have to do is be Billy Zane.

 

Or Vin Deisel or Jason Statham?

 

So we've been raising an orphaned baby raccoon that my husband found one day when he was unloading a wood trailer. The stupid thing has been pissing me off for a few weeks because he gets into everything and he wants to nip. I'm not a fan of making sure he's not an asshole to the kids, plus cleaning up after him, plus feeding him, plus every-fucking-thing else when I wasn't the one who wanted to bring him home in the first place. Sure, he's a lot of fun when you're only home an hour a day but not so much when you're the one who has to take care of him every day.

Fast forward to today. I took the kids out to my in-laws so they could stay the night with their cousins, I was gone for maybe 30 minutes. I came home and the fucking raccoon killed my daughter's fish. He didn't even have the wherewithal to eat the damn thing. My daughter has had this Betta fish for a year and a half. She's going to be heartbroken.

So do I run to walmart and buy her another fish? Do we have the life and death talk? Do we bury the fish carcass in the backyard or am I allowed to throw it away?

And the most important question: how much can I get for a raccoon hide?

 

Get another fish. Serve raccoon stew for dinner.

Problem solved.

 

Bald and boners or hairy and uninterested/no libido.
Not interested but can't get it up.
Just not interested.

But hair that Thor would envy....