They are bringing back Crystal Pepsi. Right. NOW. The only thing that made money off that shite was Van Halen. It was a HUGE failure. There are better sodas, such as Fresca pissed out of a hobo's ass.
My wife thought it'd be funny to hit me in the balls after sex and say "I got all I needed!" Joke is on her. I just wiped our cum mixture off my dick on her toothbrush. Yeah she's gonna be a spitter or a swallower in the morning!!
Yeah, who fucking swallows tooth paste. I have a feeling this is related to his recent loss of sobriety.
Fuck that... it's entertaining as hell. Why? Because it's not me... and I like me a good train wreck every now and then.
You know what makes really, really good Sangria? Triple Sec. Lots and lots of yummy Triple Sec. 7 Litres in the fridge, 2 days in... fresh blueberries, cherries, strawberries, pineapple, and kick-ass local cab sauv. I do believe a glass of the stuff has kind of knocked me on my ass... Have a 100 person BBQ on Saturday... 2 live bands, a fridge full of meat (literally... the beer fridge had to be cleaned out and filled with meat) that starts cooking tomorrow, and I'm picking up a truck/trailer full of hay bales for seats on Saturday morning. It's going to be fucking awesome. Yee-fucking-haw!
It's really starting to escalate. The only logical conclusion is that one of us is gonna put super glue in the shampoo bottle a la Police Academy. But we both kinda signed up for this. Passed the "gas lighting" stage a long time ago. Ran past it. My pain is your amusement.
If you have to describe your sexual partners as "the fridge", you might want to re-evaluate your life. That being said, I once fucked a chick nicknamed "the coke machine" while on a rugby tour, so I'm not one to judge.
OK. I'll bite. Was that because of her crippling cocaine addiction, or did her vagina fit cans of coke and spit out change?
I almost fucked a girl we called "Sumo" before I sobered up just enough to realize how bad an idea that might of been. I think what brought me quickly back to reality was when she said "Eat me." Sobered me up right quick.
I lost my virginity to an overgrown wannabe sorority slut on a cruise ship who, after she fucked me, went back to the club and fucked this 40 year old dude from Dubai. It was like a 20 minute turn around. When they got back to the club he celebrated by buying the remaining people at the bar buckets of $100/bottle champagne. I've had prouder moments.
No... she was the 8th "man" of an all-female rugby team from California that played at Maggotfest one year. She was called the Coke Machine because she looked like a Coke Machine; 6'4" tall, 4' wide, 4' deep. I guess you could say I was the last one to the party so the pickings were a bit "slim". I won "Pig of the Port" for the rest of the year. (I used to play for the Gibsons Pigs RFC).
And Nancy Grace's show was just canned. About. Fucking. Time. http://www.thedailybeast.com/articl...times-nancy-grace-was-terrible.html#pq=y9Pw86
Has anyone read about the massive cocaine ring bust yet? A Chipotle exec, Merrill Lynch broker, Fox News producer, Huff Po writer, and a Cushman and Wakefield broker all got nabbed for felony possession because it is 1985 still. http://www.wsj.com/articles/chipotle-executive-involved-in-new-york-cocaine-bust-1467331439 http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york...ades-cvs-stores-authorities-article-1.2694745 Somehow the Daily Mail has the best write up yet, AND a bikini shot of the Fox producer: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...tive-arrested-huge-cocaine-bust-New-York.html Those guys at Chipotle know how to party. You gotta wonder* if everyone else just got the coke for their bosses or to woo talent. *I don't wonder at all. That's exactly what happened.