Think of it as the most discrete way to get wasted possible... Or you could tell your in-laws to go fuck themselves and drink anyway
What do you think burns less, VST in the vagina or anus? I imagine the most discreet way is the hole that causes less squirming.
I've never considered that. I imagine both would suck. Maybe beer would be a more comforable way to go. Keep it classy though, a tampon soaked in bud light is way less classy than a tampon soaked in some sort of high abv double ipa
I feel like introducing the yeast in that beer to that particular orifice might have some unintended consequences.
Fair point, wine for the wine then. After googling does wine have yeast, then no, wine is not the way to go. Vodka soaked tampons, you get wasted, everyone is happy, you can tolerate your in laws, as far as I can tell there is no downside.
Problem is butt chugging with beer is just too much liquid that has places to go. "Hi grandma, let me give you a big hug! Just a minute grandma have to run..." *sound of diarrhea hitting a porcelain bowl, followed by farts echoing out of the bathroom caused by the tremendous amounts of CO2 being expelled from the anus*
Yeast is used to make wine too. I think I'll stick to more conventional methods of alcohol consumption. I'll stick a flask in my knitting bag.
I always forget I need to have something in the house for lunch on Thanksgiving, so now I'm starving as all the food smells waft around me and I follow my cat around the apartment practicing my dog show commentator voice.
It's especially confusing since no one can figure out where the "Golden" came from. Nevada is the Silver State, California is the Golden State.
I always thought well done steak was reserved for those joyless souls to whom laughter was unknown and smiling was an arrestable offense...
The super classy way is a champs-soaked buttplug. I'm so fucking frustrated with today I'm ready to have a drink.
I think I'm gonna send dicksmas cards this year. It'll be like a regular christmas card, except it'll have a dick pic on the front and will contain updates on my penis's (mis)adventures over the last year. I think it's gonna be a hit.
Well, the awkward part of Thanksgiving is over; I went over to my ex-mother-in-law's house to see Li'l Bandit (I actually get along great with my former in-laws; it's just my ex-wife that I can't stand). Normally he would have come home with me for the rest of the weekend, but they are all going to go to Mexico tomorrow morning to see some other relatives. Tonight, Jungle Julia and I are going to make a Thanksgiving duck. Yeah, that's right, we're having duck. Don't like that? Go fuck yourself. I'll post pictures and details of the bird tonight... Or maybe tomorrow. Depends on how much booze we drink. Anyway, have a happy Thanksgiving!
My son almost ratted me out. He grabbed my cup and said "here's your grown up drink mom!" It's only got punch in it now though, the aforementioned grown up drink has already been consumed.