The 2016 (fake) Thanksgiving WDT

Palmetto bugs are amazing, especially when you learn they can fly and will fly at you when spooked.

 

Yes. Directly at your fucking face. I know. You can play badminton with the goddamn things. They are straight out of the mind of Lovecraft.

That was the closest I ever came to screaming like a girl. Seeing the gross beetle-looking insectoid thing unfurl its demonic helicopter blades and comes straight at my eyes.

Flying American Cockroach is a Palmetto bug, yes? They do seem to send grown adults tumbling back into childhood. WHY do these fuckers always go for the face?

 

I do not recommend going from a Pinot Noir to a semi-sweet wine. I might as well be drinking grape juice. This used to be my favorite wine. I think my tastes have changed.

I've been home alone all afternoon, and it has been glorious. There has been knitting and Netflix bingeing and I don't think I can keep drinking this wine tonight. It's too sweet.

 

Add lemon juice, you don't want to waste it, turn it into a cocktail

 

I'm not a quitter. I'm drinking it.

ETA: I just realized that I posted that I couldn't keep drinking it, but that wasn't literal. Of course I'm going to keep drinking it.

 

What is this for and why are people paying for it? Or is it one of those things the holiday drunks have gathered around?

Guess I have to pop open another bottle of wine because I'm not seeing the logic yet. It's a bottle of Baguala Malbec 2007. I don't know what the fuck any of that means except the year. It's red so there's that. It tastes pretty good with a bitter follow up that clings to sides of your tongue.

I've only recently gotten into wine. I ended up with an odd assortment from the leftover holiday booze. When you have a lot of drunks in one place they tend to load up with more than they can handle and everyone brings extra 'just in case'. Someone else might not have brought booze. Could be dangerous, you know? I also have a bottle of Piper-Heidsieck champagne. I'm halfway torn between wanting to share it with someone because it's some good shit and not wanting to share it with anyone because it's some good shit.

Edit: I notice that in the ten minutes since I've made this post the time frame has risen to 38.5 hours. People really love a big-ass hole.

 

I'm not a wine snob by any means. I enjoy a good Moscato from time to time. Apparently not tonight though.

I went to a bachelorette party last spring in Hermann and we rode the trolley from winery to winery, it was a lot of fun. I was the only one that would even taste any red wines. I'm weird and had to try the Norton at every winery because it's the state grape. I don't even particularly like Norton wine.

If you ever find yourself in Hermann MO you need to eat at the Wurst Haus. They have the best brats ever.

 

Every dollar gets 2.5 seconds of dig time. They've been digging since 1 pm ET on Friday. There's about 36.5 hours remaining (obviously it changes as more payments come in or don't).

I'm afraid to do the math on how much money that is. It's horrifying.

 

I saw the first one, liked it, bought Volume 2 on DVD and never followed up. That was only, oh, 12 years ago.

 

Stuff like this makes me mad I'm not filthy rich. I'll dig a fucking hole for a dollar per 2.5 seconds. http://twinfinite.net/2016/11/cards-against-humanity-holiday-hole/

And the motherfuckin' bank I'm sure.

People will have to do something cool with this after the hole is done. You can't just let a big hole sit there. That's even crazier than digging it in the first place. You could do a pretty badass slide park that wouldn't be that expensive.

 

Just a reminder of what I have to deal with until January;



Imagine what it's like trying to navigate around all that bullshit in the dark....every fucking morning before work and weekend nights when you've been drinking and it's not lit up like he's trying to signal aliens in deep space.

 

Open memo to J ohio guy, this time tomorrow I will have decided on your new avatar and signature.

 

Correction: This time tomorrow we'll have made Michigan our bitch again.

 

Michigan could lose but Ohio is the worst academic school in the Big 10. It is the ASU of the Big 10

 

No matter the game's outcome, at the end of the day you still live in Ohio.

I think we all know who the real loser is here.

 

Is it? I never really looked into, but I just figured it would be Indiana since that state is an even bigger shit hole than Michigan and Ohio.

Badgers all the way. OSU and Michigan might be better teams, but if OSU wins tomorrow Wisconsin will probably still win the conference. Ha!

Sadly, I think Michigan will win and I don't like those odds in the title game.

 

Naw, that would be Iowa, or Nebraska now that they've joined the conference. Ohio St has actually become a pretty competitive school academically, cause the state of Ohio dumped so much money into it. When I went to college in 2003, at another school in Ohio, it was the safety school for most of my classmates who were in state. But then OSU started tossing full rides to almost any kid near the top of their class or who was a National Merit semi-finalist, and then all of a sudden, kids were not only choosing to go to OSU, but they were ending up at my alma mater when they couldn't get into OSU, which was a shocking turn of events in less than a decade.

Indiana has a fantastic, top tier undergrad business school, but the rest of the school is pretty meh.

 

The only thing worthwhile in the entire state of Ohio is Cedar Pointe.