I think my favorite day during undergrad was the first warm day of Spring. Something about it was magical . Maybe it was the sun, maybe it was the warmth, or maybe it was all the co-eds breaking out their slutty sun dresses that really made that day special. I will be happy when this day happens next year and I'm on a college campus again.
Working in a winery in central california, I can tell you that sundress season is in full swing, and it's fucking glorious.
GOOD. Because fuck Prince. And I may or may not have had enough time on my hands to spend a good part of yesterday evening reading the 'leadership handbook' from work. Man, that's dull. Still getting a lot of days in the 40s here. I'm always planning to do more camping every summer, but end up hardly going. Hopefully this summer is different. At the worst it will give me incentive to drive up north and visit the old friends.
Brush fires burning in Pennsylvania over 30 miles away and we can smell the smoke and its hazy as all hell here. Pictures don't do it justice, except to the say the sun never looks like that here that high in the sky.
Sundresses are great. You know what's better? The recent trend of women wearing thongs to the beach. Not just the Brazilian cut, or the scrunch butt, but straight up thongs. Hell, not even a few women, like, more than half. I have never seen that outside Miami Beach. High 5s all around, people. What a time to be alive. I had some weed fudge. Sat on the porch shooting the shit, admiring spring. Birds are beginning to head back north. There was an oriole buzzing around doing bird things. What a beautiful bird, really stunning. His breast was burning orange. We had a good dozen of those white winged, whispy butterflies (moths?) flying around too. Nature is awesome.
It is a step in the right direction from this: "Doc, I want you to make me look like a cross between Michael Jackson and The Elephant Man."
Gawd. She looks awful. Pics like that make me a little more weary to have work done. I'm all for getting some fillers and Botox. Maybe a lift if the boobs go south. I'd just hate to be one of those people who starts out with one or two procedures and before I know it I'm full-blown addicted to plastic surgery. She looks like a Muppet.
Evidently the new fad for black chicks is to become white chicks with garlic knots for a head. Look at Lisa from Saved By The Bell. She used a race-transforming formula and turned into El Chupacabra. Cosmetic surgery worked out for Ashlee Simpson and pretty much nobody else. Just ask Mickey Roarke.
Just finished Game of Thrones. I don't have a dick (obvi), but if I did it would have totally just turtle-shelled into my body. Ugh!
Fuck you, Black Jesus.* Despite what you see in news reports during Spring Break, South Padre Island is the domain of blindingly ugly fat women for the remaining 50 weeks out of the year. And if the women aren't totally hideous sea-cows, then they're wearing T-shirts and/or shorts over bikinis. You can tell that some of them have nice bodies, but they cover it all up! (But the fat women let it all hang out, saggy tits, hail-damaged thighs, and varicose veins be damned...) You WILL NEVER see a woman wearing a thong at South Padre Island outside of Spring Break. I blame conservative Mexican-American attitudes (and fatty Mexican food) for this. Are y'all starting to see why I call this place the Asshole of Texas? Sigh. In other news, there's a Toxic Avenger marathon on the El Rey network this weekend, and since Li'l Bandit and I are connoisseurs of cheesy movies, we watched them. I had seen the first two Toxic Avenger movies when I was about 10, but with a catch: I saw them on the USA network's "Up All Night" program. Anyone else remember that televised abortion? They would take risque movies (horror movies, adult comedies, soft-core porn, etc.), and then cut out any remotely objectionable content. This resulted in glaring continuity errors and confusing storylines. They made up for the time-loss by having hosts at the beginning and end of each commercial break. The hosts I remember were Gilbert Godfried and Rhonda Shear. Anyway, the El Rey network prides itself in showing it's programming uncut. I was surprised at how many boobs they showed in those movies! I was even more surprised at how good they (the boobs) were for such low-budget movies. One woman stood out though: Tromelissa Saytar, in Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV. Seriously, how hot is this woman? Spoiler Spoiler I suppose I'm a little biased because aside from her hair color, she's practically a body-double for a woman I "dated" from '06-'09, but still... *Just kidding, CharlesJohnson. You know that you're cool in my book. I'm just jealous.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ted-cruz-lookalike-porn_us_571aa703e4b0d4d3f7237467 This is rule #34 gone horribly, horribly wrong.