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The 2017 April Fools Day WDT NSFW

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by shegirl, Mar 31, 2017.

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  1. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

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    There's some co-worker infighting going on right now where I work. Basically, one of our execs has cancer and it isn't looking great. Morality aside, they're all positioning for "her job" (I believe she'll survive and be fine).

    I've got a lot of seniority on these people despite being young. Start out with a company early, stick with it through the years. My wife has asked me repeatedly why I don't care about the title and my response is the same "I get paid like an executive, so they can call me a janitor for all the fuck I care!"

    Why the fuck do people care about titles?
     
  2. abneretta

    abneretta
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    Shenanigator

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    I don't know. I'm an Operator Management Specialist or something like that, I'm honestly not sure of my title. I get paid a decent amount for the hours I work and the area I live. The only bad thing (depending on your outlook or your politics, I guess) is that I'm not union where most of our employees are. My benefits plus salary equal a decent living for this area. I don't always love my job but I honestly can't complain.

    It is weird that I'm technically in charge of a couple guys who went to high school with my dad, though.
     
  3. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    Want to hear something funny? I have a title. It says so on my business cards that my company sends me a box of every year. I have two unopened boxes sitting in my desk.
     
  4. TX.

    TX.
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    The Mad Pooper

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    Storming all day here. So much for working in the yard. I never look at forecasts because they're rarely correct.

    My one memory of BPS is my brother accidentally shoving a straw down my throat. My dad dragged us there. We were bored and horsing around. Next thing I knew the straw I was chewing on was assaulting my pharynx. The weird things you remember about places.

    People here say that I don't have an accent, but if I go up north they say I do. Don't know how much of that is legit since the people who say I have one usually sound like they're exaggerating a NY or Boston accent.
     
  5. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    You don't have an accent, it's just that everybody ELSE has one. I have the exact same issue.
     
  6. toddamus

    toddamus
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    Genuinely I wonder the same thing.
     
  7. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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  8. Volo

    Volo
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    Sometimes it's all a person has. Everyone knows someone like that. Hell, I'm sure some of us have been that person at some point.
     
  9. Clutch

    Clutch
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    Job titles matter when you're trying to get your resume past the gatekeepers in HR. At my last job, my title had a connotation that implied a level of skill well below the work I was actually doing. Eventually, I ended up putting a different title on my resume and hoping that people wouldn't verify it with the company.
     
  10. toddamus

    toddamus
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    And how'd that work out for you?
     
  11. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    Y'ALL GOT PRANKED! APRIL FOOL'S DAY, MOTHERFUCKERS.

    https://www.theidiotboard.com/threads/the-2017-april-fools-day-wdt-nsfw.254520/page-3#post-586516

    Like I'd EVER buy a German car. Speaking as a guy who has had the misfortune of working on those things, that whole "Superior German Engineering" thing is a load of shit.
    Some of the things those people do just make me wonder. Did you know that BMWs and Audis don't have dipsticks for the oil anymore? (I think this is really important, because almost every German car I've worked on had some kind of oil leak.)

    I'd buy Japanese before I'd buy German, and I'd cut my dick off before I'd get rid of my Trans Am. (Oh, and those of you curious about the engine swap I did, stay tuned to the automotive thread for details.)
     
  12. Aetius

    Aetius
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    Everyone knows that Swedes make the best cars.
     
  13. Clutch

    Clutch
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    I'd like to think I got more interviews with the fake title, and I could explain it once I got the interview. My current employer didn't even ask for references, and I don't think anything short of an active arrest warrant would have talked my boss out of hiring me.
     
  14. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Oh, yeah, you totally fooled everyone.
    Except for the very next post following yours and everyone else who didn't buy it.
     
  15. silway

    silway
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    To echo others, job titles matter during job searches. The other time they might matter is in a large organization where people don't know each other so you have them as the means to understand someone else's place in the organization.

    I feel lucky I don't have to worry about them and I tell my assistants that they can put whatever they want on their resumes. They just need to tell me so I can confirm it for future employers
     
  16. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    This morning I was a quarter mile from a fairly large tornado. It's been years, forgot how terrifying that was. A lot of homes are gone. I'm lucky the only damage was having to rebuild our duck house (all ducks survived).
     
  17. Clutch

    Clutch
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    My current job title is kind of a nonsensical jumble of words that I can't share without giving away where I work. I'm guessing someone in HR was trying to make it consistent with some of the other people on my team who have very specialized roles that only really exist in our company's industry. My boss finally noticed it when we did my annual review and told me to get it changed to something less stupid, but I don't really feel like filling out the requests for new business cards, name plate, ID badge, etc. I usually just introduce myself to clients or vendors by saying the thing I do that is most relevant to whatever the meeting is about.
     
  18. NatCH

    NatCH
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    ...Sandwich Artist?
     
  19. dieformetal

    dieformetal
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    Hurricanes Are My Bitch

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    Professional Fluffer?
     
  20. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    You're a presenter on The Price Is Right.
     
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