The 2017 Eclipse WDT NSFW

Yeah but that was like, nine nuclear entry vehicles burning at once. That's like, a super-duper rocket. He got there in a day, tops. Then landed gently at several thousand miles an hour in a perfect vacuum.

 

Such as?

Uh, I mean, don't be gross. That's a total invasion of privacy.

 

I stumbled across some. Trust me....no, just no. Unless you've always wanted to see Miley Cyrus take a shit while chugging a beer, then it's probably right up your alley.

 

Just wanted to throw this out there if anyone is interested.
Have two more spots available for fantasy football this year. Not running it through the board, but still have a lot of people who have played in the past.
$60 buy in, looking for 14 teams total, have 12 already. Draft is at 8:30PM EST on Labor Day, Sep 4th.
You can send me an email monoatomic72 @ gmail.com if you are interested.

 

Nope. If there weren't enough reasons already but she's not a Brit. I forgot who it is - iczorro maybe? - but somebody at TiB has a thing for Miley.

 

So I decide to invest a very small amount in cryptocurrency. Not because cryptocurrency isn't bullshit (it is) but because it's fueled by stupidity and greed, and I'm bullish on both.

So I go to CoinBase, which is apparently the total loser's way of signing up for this, because they're all official and shit and actually try to act like a regulated financial institution, and every other mechanism for buying cryptocurrency is basically uses the same mechanisms you'd use to send money to Microsoft Tech Support scammers or Nigerian Princes.

I create a separate savings account for this, so when they are inevitably hacked my exposure will be very limited.

Then I go to sign up and it wants the password to all my banking stuff. Ummm....no. So you can do that shit where it deposits two little deposits in your account. OK, let's do that.

5 days later, no deposits. Get an email on Day 4 saying "your deposits should be in now, yay!"

OK, so I remove the payment method and reactivate. Hour later, deposits! Yay! Oh, wait, no...those are the deposits from the FIRST day, finally showing up.

Wait another week, and the 2nd deposits show up. Great! I can now buy cryptocurrency.

Log in, "oh, please verify your identity. You can eiether upload pictures of your ID or take them with a webcam." OK, I'll upload them. "Can't verify your identity, you don't have a webcam." What the fuck?

Plug in the world's shittiest webcam. Take pics of the ID with the webcam. After that, it wants to take a selfie with my webcam. Fuck, fine.

"Your webcam is too shitty for your ID, we can't verify your identity."

OK, so I upload the pictures of my ID that are good, and then it lets me continue because apparently (which it doesn't tell you) the webcam is required because you need to take a selfie with it regardless of how your ID is uploaded. After 3 minutes, I am now registered and I can buy cryptocurrency.

OR NOT, because now I have to wait ANOTHER week to transfer money INTO my account, at which point I'm sure it will want a DNA sample and a scrotum-print taken by some off-duty taxi driver at my local convenience store/notary.

 

Apparently this adorable child from a Seth Rogen movie that I refuse to believe came out more than three years ago is old enough to have legal nudes on the internet:

Spoiler

Toytoy, is that what getting old feels like?

 

How has no one died doing that?

 

That was my first thought. Isn't there quite a lot of pop in those when they get set off?

From the looks of it, if you're going to prank someone doing that, make sure they're fat, the fatter the better the safer it is.

 

Why is she so unappealing? She has the shape and face of a prepubescent boy. I agree she has no sex appeal.

She is also a horrible horrible skank. Shes like the newer, worse version of Paris Hilton.

 

All of those things. She's doing the exact same bullshit Madonna did 25 years ago, only without tits. It's not just the trying hard, it's the constant Deja Vu that everything she does has been done before, done better, and to greater effect.

It won't be long before the only thing Cyrus has left to do is anal. And even then I won't care.

 

So if a video of her came out now of her taking it in the butt you'd watch it?

 

There are professionals who are better at it, and who while watching won't make you feel like you raided Gary Glitter's video stash.

 

I kind of like the fact that although I know the people like Cyrus/Gaga/all the Kardashians exist, I couldn't pick any of them out of a lineup. I see no reason to spoil that by looking at some ghastly shitting photos.

 

Lucky you. She was literally shitting in the woods. Classy stuff. It actually made the pissing photos look tastefully done.