The 2017 Heart Day WDT NSFW

My wife and I got married in a helicopter over the Vegas strip at night, ceremony performed by the priest from the movie "Honeymoon in Vegas"

 

Me too. Worst fucking birthday ever.

 

I remember watching them perform that back in the 70's on The Midnight Special. It was on a very expensive (At the time) 3.5" black and white portable TV. In my '63 Econoline van. With a black fake fur covered bed in the back. Making out with a 15 year old. I was 16. I was also drunk. Good thing for me her mom was open minded and thought it was perfectly fine for her 15 year old daughter to spend the night in a van with a 16 year old.

Does anyone else have one of these at work? My company served us a buffet today and the fattest woman in my department went to the well 3 times. Then she gathered up all the leftovers, came back in our office and started talking about what she was going to eat next week. She got married about 6 months ago and has packed on at least 50 lbs since then. She's constantly talking about working out and losing weight. If I notice this shit, I can only imagine the shit the women in my office have picked up on her doing.

 

I'm finally home from getting my taxes done.

I'm getting a late start so I believe a shot is in order, followed by the whiskey sour I promised myself earlier.

 

Gin. Shot of gin.

 

I don't have any gin. I almost picked some up today as well but I thought I'd branch out. (The liquor store has to special order my gin, they don't stock it.)

 

You don't need a "my gin," you just need bombay or beefeaters.

 

Beefeaters is my cheap go-to but I wanted whiskey sours tonight and didn't have any whiskey in my house, which is a sin in and of itself.

 

I just asked my husband where the binoculars are so I can look for comet 45P at 2 AM and he looked at me like I'm crazy.

Apparently everyone doesn't think that shit is as cool as I do.

 

Ask him "Where's the shot gun you son of a bitch?"

That will get his attention.

 

Beefeaters makes for some killer gin and tonics, as well as dirty martinis.

I used to have a flask that looked like a pair of binoculars. It "worked" so like you could see through it, just unscrew one of the eye holes and there was a small funnel built in. Held just over a liter.

It was the only way I found to consistently sneak booze into sporting events and on cruise ships. Made it through security on several cruises even and lord knows into how many sports arenas.

 

I just tricked him into watching Interstellar. If he thinks watching comets is weird then he's in for a treat.

 

Stellar decision!

 

If the comet puts in the same weak effort the earth and moon did earlier, prepare to be let down.

 

Dammit. I need a pair of binoculars.

(I realize I'm taking the wrong tack from this whole conversation, but I'm drunk and don't have a pair of binoculars and that upsets me.)

 

Here ya go, drunk binoculars

 

I also was watching the moon, through the window of my CPA's office earlier. I also got funny looks when I was going to the door to look outside only to see a full moon. I mean, sure it was a beautiful moon but I saw nothing resembling an eclipse (yes, I know it wasn't an actual full eclipse but still.)

We have a pair of astronomical binoculars that I'm not entirely sure how we came into possession of, I think it was an auction, but they come in handy from time to time.

 

My new dehydrator came today, so I'm currently marinating about 3lbs of thinly cut beef to make jerky tomorrow. @dieformetal before I saw your response, I ended up finding a 6 pack of that Immortal Ale, and I have to agree with your assessment. It's overwhelmingly... meh. I definitely prefer their Space Dust over this. I also managed to pick up a bomber of Southern Tier's Creme Brulee, which at 10% makes for a fine dessert beer.

 

I'm winding up an aggravating evening by drinking gin and watching Shameless.