A whirlwind Christmas with the in-laws and then with my family over the last 3 days. My job causes me a lot of stress so the opportunity for some off-time during the holidays is awesome...in theory. I started that off-time by visiting the in-laws. They live up in the mountains so it was 4 hours of mostly white-knuckle driving each way through rain, freezing rain, sleet, or snow over hill, dale, and through dark-ass canyons there and back. Picked up my brother-in-law on the way and he was chatty and didn't seem to modulate that based on the fact that I was literally spending every ounce of my attention trying to not get us killed. To his credit, he did stop his story to ask "whoa, was that a huge rock?" right after I swerved around it in the middle of the canyon, missing it by inches in some kind of minor Christmas miracle. And my family, fuck, what an ouroboros. All but about two of us have turned into caricatures of individual problems or neuroses, and as such everything is a sensitive subject so you can't talk about anything. Politics? Well, that's out because of the rabid Fox News Obama-is-the-Devil contingent. Religion? That could be interesting, we've got the Catholics, the lapsed Catholics, and the non-militant atheist (me) but the wildcard there are the new-agers who believe in something that is like Wicca but also involves UFOs and psychic dolphins and I really don't want to know more than that. OK, how about work, that's always interesting? Ooh, can't talk about that because 50% of my 30+ year old adult-child cousins can't find jobs right now because 1) they literally are incapable of putting together a CV that will get them a callback from any employer, including basic no-experience-required jobs; or 2) their careers were derailed by, e.g., a recent DUI or four, and talking about work makes them feel bad. School? Well, that's interesting except for my cousin and his wife that have so far accumulated a sum total of $100K+ in private student loan debts to colleges that advertise on TV and which they have failed out of, repeatedly, so that subject makes them feel bad. How about world events? Well, since only two or three of us actually read the news or know what is going on, that's a sort of exclusive conversation also, plus everything bad that's happening in the world is Obama's fault. Travel? Well, that makes everybody who is unemployed/in debt/both feel bad because they can't afford to travel and it seems like rubbing it in. That leaves the weather and food (thankfully nobody in the family has an eating disorder, but that could change any time). I spend most of my time in the kitchen helping to cook because at least it's something to do and hey, everybody likes to eat. And I know, ha ha, everybody has problems getting along with their family at the holidays, it's the American way, etc. etc. But it's just gotten, I dunno, darker over the years. Years ago, all the "adults" were in their 40s and 50s, and having usual life problems and making their choices, but with decades left to figure it out, and all the "kids" were in their 20s and struggling to find jobs, get through school, start lives for themselves. That was normal and there's a sort of hopeful camaraderie about it all. But now the adults are in their 60s and 70s and are at their retirement ages. They're still working when they aren't held back by crippling phobias, and they have to because they didn't ever manage to really getting around to saving anything for retirement. (The UFOlogists are an especially tough case - they inherited from their parents a small number of millions of dollars, enough for anybody to live comfortably off the interest alone - and managed to squander it completely). And of course, everyone's health problems seem a little more serious these days. And all the kids are in their 30s and 40s and (with a couple exceptions) the ones who managed to find jobs are still worried about things like "how many hours they'll get this week." The ones who are back in school "just need to retake a couple more classes" to finish their expensive for-profit online school degrees. I care about these people, but there's not much I can do to help them. And I don't know if things are gonna get better. ~ ~ ~ Have yourself a merry little Christmas It may be your last Next year we may all be living in the past Have yourself a merry little Christmas Pop that champagne cork Next year we may all be living in New York No good times like the olden days Happy golden days of yore Faithful friends who were dear to us Will be near to us no more But at least we all will be together If the Lord allows From now on, we'll have to muddle through somehow So have yourself a merry little Christmas now
George Michael died on Christmas just like Jesus did, for our sins. His sin was the lyrics to "Careless Whisper" what the FUCK are "guilty feet" anyway?
Pretty sure he was supposed to be born on Christmas. IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY AND YOU JUST LEAVE HIM OUT OF IT YOU SICK FUCK. At least that's what the radio told me. I had a pretty good last few days. Boating instead of shoveling snow, and the lunatics in my family all starting drinking at 10am. I'm now in recuperation mode leading up to new year's eve.
I don't know, but they sure as hell have got no rhythm. And Princess Leia, too? Curse you 2016 for slaying the background music and images of my youth.
What a great Christmas, I worked Christmas Eve and was supposed to close around midnight but some large African American boxer decided he and his girlfriend wanted to sit in an empty bar and he would drink white Russians while she nodded off to sleep. Finally he said cash me out and I knew what was coming, because of course you don't tip on a $50 tab when you are the last one in a bar on Christmas morning. I spent a few hours with my family on Christmas and refused to answer any questions regarding my divorce. On the bright side my California MILF showed up Christmas night so all the craziness that comes with that has been fun.
Does anybody here have relatives that give away too many sweet over the holidays? I tell my parents every year "Save your money. We are NOT huge on chocolate/etc! " so my mom and her 50 First Dates memory decides to buy my wife a box of Cadbury Fingers so long it ont fit in our largest cupboard. You could competitively race rodents down the length of it. Me, aside from six other chocolate-themed items I was on the receiving end of a Toblerone bar big enough to anchor the fucking Q.E. II. My teeth sweat just by standing near the damn thing. Nobody of course complains because my parents are ridiculous spoilers in way of food and gift at Christmas. I'm their only kid, they only get one granddaughter. You'd better BELIEVE she's bouncing off the wall with pleasure overload-- Christ, our house looks like Attack Of The Disney Animator Dolls.
Things my pregnant wife has cried about today: - she cried because the new comforter is too short on the sides by a few inches - she cried because it was upsetting her that something as insignificant as the comforter was upsetting her - she cried because she wanted pasta but "doesn't know how to cook" - she cried because I volunteered to cook the pasta and was being "too nice" to her - she cried because she "can't even cook pasta and that's something an adult should be able to do" (she's correct about this) - she cried because she accidentally bought asparagus-stuffed pasta - she cried because the asparagus-stuffed pasta looked green - she cried because she made the asparagus-stuffed pasta and it didn't taste good - she threw a fork at me because I told her the asparagus-stuffed pasta "tasted green" - she cried because her boobs have gotten larger - she cried because I told her that the only was to be sure was for me to feel them, and apparently that meant I was objectifying her and didn't love her for her .... I got 8 more fucking months of this. I quit smoking at the wrong damn time.
Here is every reason that a baby cries: 1) I am hungry. 2) I am tired. 3) I am upset. 4) This flesh-wrapped public address system I'm in is equipped with lungs and a voice box. Testing....
I would love to introduce this pandering fag's wrists to a razor and a hot bath. Never, EVER stop virtue signalling. I bet he has pent-up sexual issues that would make Buffalo Bill shake his head in disgust.
I don't find young Carrie Fisher gorgeous, or even think she's that attractive, but there's just something about that bikini. Maybe it was the contrast with the giant slug she was chained to, and the whole first two movies I didn't sexualize her at all and then it's like BAM, this girl has assets. They should have John Boyega in his underwear chained to some freak for half of episode 8 just to fuck with people. Because, you know, it has to be a statement. Just like having a female jedi has to be about the big picture, of like, society 'n shit.
Have you ever wondered how much human shit is decorating the streets of San Francisco? Wonder no more, here's a map: http://mochimachine.org/wasteland/ Thanks internet!
Is this supposed to be a joke that I don't get? This came up as a "tough" math problem. I use math a lot, but under no circumstance, do I consider myself a math genius. This takes like one second to solve for ?. This was in AOL's current feed, and somebody else sent it to me. AOL's headline called it a "near-impossible math problem" and added "only a true genius will be able to solve it." Am I being punk'd? Spoiler It's 72. How could it be anything else? This may be the dumbest thing I see all day.