Hope everyone is keeping safe tonight. Some random douche tried to pick a fight with my twin as I was getting in our uber. No idea why. My twin is the nicest guy ever, seriously, he's very different than me in that way. Fortunately for the guy who tried to start a fight with my twin, he was walking towards Carlsbad Village, where there are plenty of Marines, gang members, and other guys more than willing to take him up on that invite. Can't say I wish him good luck, but if he was looking to fight, I know by now he's found one.
TRUTH. NYE is the worst. Ive always had a great time on St Patrick's day. A whole lot better when it's warm out.
St. Paddy's isn't much of a thing in Spain. But these fuckers go all out for Carnival. Je.Zus. At this point I have only observed it from a distance once but looks like an excuse to either dress in a onesie or dress like a girl. So again ima pass. God I'm old
At least with New Year's there are all different kinds of people out looking to celebrate in different ways, as opposed to only the most aggressive drunkest loudest bros getting up in your face to scream at you about not wearing green. I was legitimately traumatized by St Patrick's Day in Boston. New York is only slightly better because at least there are whole neighborhoods to hide in where the holiday doesn't exist. I ran right home after work. Although apparently we're getting snow again tonight so it's looking like I may just be a hermit all weekend. Anyway, enjoy this wild wide: Spoiler: Slightly nsfw but mostly for size (Note: I got this from Twitter, they're someone else's screenshots. I sadly don't know the guy.)
So there was no meth head? Also, Im already a fan but where do I find what this guy does? I want to subscribe.
I guess because there are usually more consequences when you chop hookers up because their pussy was unsatisfactory. Maybe he's just trying to say that a meth head is inside all of us.
You have to think they built that whole mofo pretty stout if it's got a metal skeleton, including the vagina and vagina-related assembly. It wasn't unsatisfactory. He ripped it while fucking it. I mean, that right there will get him some follows from chicks that want a dude that could wreck their pussy, right? You've already reached out to him, haven't you?
That reminds me of Jim Jefferies's misadventure with a rubber cunt, one of my favorite stand up bits.
We've been cooking all day, now to start drinking and wait for the guests to arrive. The 5 second rule still applies even if it's shepherds pie dropped on the kitchen floor, right? Of course it does.
Okay, apparently sex toys aren't being made up to par. Back when I was still married, The Ice Cream Cake Girl and I went to a porn shop, and one of the things we got was a sort of jelly cock sock that had studs on the outside of it. Think of it like the ultimate studded condom. As soon as we got home, we were eager to try it out, but that piece of shit split right in half as soon as I put it on. We contemplated returning it, but never did.
Remember when that woman had a dildo so far up in her neither her or her bf could get it? I think there needs to be more oversight of sex toy manufacturing. Please send you congressman emails and phone calls. Together we can make sex toys more safe....and better yet annoy a whole lot of congressman