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The 2017 Superbowl WDT NSFW

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by shegirl, Feb 1, 2017.

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  1. katokoch

    katokoch
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    You bastard. Say hi to Simba for me.
     
    #261 katokoch, Feb 6, 2017
  2. Cmr88

    Cmr88
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    Experienced Idiot

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    My charity ball was a fucking circus. An overly drunk, gentleman confronted my boss, and said he was going to beat his ass for offending his wife. My boss had no idea who his wife was.
    My boss's wife bought 10 wiffle balls for the raffle, and was making ball jokes all night long. My boss announced to our County Administrator that his wife always had all the balls.
    My date decided to drink double Jamesons all night, and thought it was funny to grab my ass every chance he got.
    Fast forward to the four of us closing down a dive bar in evening wear, where they tried teaching me how to play darts. The wife thought it would be a great idea to use my boss like a stripper pole and stick her tongue down his throat, repeatedly. I have never seen my boss that drunk, ever. He announced that his son should marry me. Fucking circus.
     
    #262 Cmr88, Feb 6, 2017
  3. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    So did you say yes?
     
    #263 Revengeofthenerds, Feb 6, 2017
  4. dieformetal

    dieformetal
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    Hurricanes Are My Bitch

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    Of course she did. That's why she's texting from the storage container.
     
    #264 dieformetal, Feb 6, 2017
  5. Cmr88

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    Hell no. At least I got a free bar tab.
     
    #265 Cmr88, Feb 6, 2017
  6. gamecocks

    gamecocks
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    I'm sure you'll get a nice payday from that Dr. Phil interview too.
     
    #266 gamecocks, Feb 6, 2017
  7. toddamus

    toddamus
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    I'm a very smart man. My therapist put me in an SUD group and to show her she can't control me and I do what I want, I decided to drink more than usual last week.

    ....yeah, maybe I should've gone stone cold sober instead of on a mini bender.

    Its kind of like a criminal saying that the law can't control them, committing a crime, and ending up in prison. Did I really prove a point or just fuck myself?
     
    #267 toddamus, Feb 6, 2017
  8. Puffman

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    Both.
     
    #268 Puffman, Feb 6, 2017
  9. Gravy

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    Wait...this guy had the balls to grab your ass even though you were his pity date? Wow. You should have pulled him in close on a slow dance...and then Mike Tyson'ed his fucking ear. And not only were you a pity date. You were a pity date on a couple date with his parents. This is a circus.

    The board needs more details to this story.
     
    #269 Gravy, Feb 6, 2017
  10. Puffman

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    By details, we mean a picture of you poured into that slinky cocktail dress.
     
    #270 Puffman, Feb 6, 2017
  11. zzr

    zzr
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    The detail I'm wondering about is whether you killed a rattlesnake that night.
     
    #271 zzr, Feb 6, 2017
  12. Cmr88

    Cmr88
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    First of all, I was smart enough not to slow dance with grabby hands. He got my stiletto in his foot at least six times. Me and him were the youngest people there. He just got out of the military in May, medically discharged after 10 years in.
     
    #272 Cmr88, Feb 6, 2017
  13. shegirl

    shegirl
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    Redemption Seeking Whore

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    Aren't you glad you shared you were going with the board in the first place? I know I would be.
     
    #273 shegirl, Feb 6, 2017
  14. Gravy

    Gravy
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    His text to his buddies today: "Yeah she was super hot, but she couldn't dance for shit, kept stepping on my feet."

    Anyway, all things considered this didn't turn out too badly. I hope your work life becomes considerably easier after this sacrifice.
     
    #274 Gravy, Feb 6, 2017
  15. AFHokie

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    Them's fight'n words, or at least that's what I was led to believe by every single motherfucking local I met when I was stationed in Omaha. They be proud of their zoo
     
    #275 AFHokie, Feb 6, 2017
  16. Rush-O-Matic

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    I am posting this here as a way to - well, catharsis, I guess. I've been herking, gaggy facing for about 10 minutes. Just know, this is disgusting, if you click on the link, you were warned. There's not a picture in the spoiler, but just the title of the link may make you shout Buick.
    http://distractify.com/trending/2017/02/06/cockroach-in-womans-skull
     
    #276 Rush-O-Matic, Feb 6, 2017
  17. Revengeofthenerds

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    Your signature is worse than the link.
     
    #277 Revengeofthenerds, Feb 6, 2017
  18. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    Do they have good gnus or bad gnus?
     
    #278 Crown Royal, Feb 6, 2017
  19. Revengeofthenerds

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    This thread needs more fat people falling and animals being stupid.

     
    #279 Revengeofthenerds, Feb 6, 2017
  20. katokoch

    katokoch
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    Can't blame 'em, I mean what else does Nebraska have going for it aside from the Cornhuskers?
     
    #280 katokoch, Feb 6, 2017
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