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The 2017 Superbowl WDT NSFW

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by shegirl, Feb 1, 2017.

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  1. Cmr88

    Cmr88
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    Experienced Idiot

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    These horses are MINE. They are my expensive hobby. My "car ear" let's me afford my expensive hobby. I like my small town. Hater.
     
  2. bewildered

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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    Oh, so small town like.....this guy is actually a distant cousin?
     
  3. Puffman

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    Oops sorry Charity Ball, but it is the same as a wedding for bringing attention that you are available and working it.

    Also, of course we want drunken debauchery. This forum was founded on drunken debauchery. Unfortunately some of us have gotten so old, we can only watch.

    Now go try on that slinky black dress and post it in the bikini thread.
     
  4. Cmr88

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    Oh hell no. I don't live in the hills have eyes of TN or WV or whatever. Just in the state that is famous for fucked up headlines and recounts. Where old people come to die.
     
  5. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    I knew it!!! I can smell a horse person from a mile away. I grew up on horseback, have no desire to get back into it though because riding isn't fun if it's what you do for a living. It's too expensive to do as a hobby.

    Just start talking to your date about the benefits of hot shoeing vs cold shoeing and you'll woo him in no time!

    Edit: just realized your avatar is a horse. Fuck me shows how much I pay attention
     
  6. Misanthropic

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    IMG_1358.JPG

    IMG_1352.JPG I posted a couple of weeks ago that I was cutting out the booze and taking up some new hobbies, among them collecting military rations. The booze thing didn't go so well, but in 2 weeks I've accumulated 2 new MREs, a Russian ration, a Lithuanian ration, a Polish ration, a Canadian IMP, a French ration, a US Halal MRE, a US First Strike Ration, a US Long Range ration, and 4 "vintage" MREs from 1996.

    So I've spent this evening drinking beer and eating 20 year old food from one of the rations. Some of it was inedible, but the peanut butter was good- hell for 20 years old it was great. The potato sticks and crackers were fine, but the pineapple and candy were goners. The 20 year old hot dogs, nicknamed the "four fingers of death " by the soldiers who had to eat them, were surprisingly good. Just to be on the safe side I only ate one, and followed it with a slug of vodka.

    What could possibly go wrong?
     
  7. Revengeofthenerds

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    Food poisoning? Death?

    There's actually a market for old military rations? Like people actually purchase them on purpose and then eat them because fuck expiration dates? Is this a Japan thing?
     
  8. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    Kids these days.

    What is he, at least 60 or 70 stories above the street?
     
  9. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Don't get your hopes up - you already pointed out the reasons she won't. Although, she did tell me that if I can track down those booty shorts I'm looking for, she wear them and post topless in the boobie thread. At least, I think that's what she said.
     
  10. Misanthropic

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    Dude you have no idea. Go on eBay and enter MRE or rations. Some folks-and it is mostly U.S., UK, Germans and swedes- just collect them as memorabilia. Preppers stock up on them. Some folks like to eat them.

    It is no exaggeration to say these things are perfectly fine to eat for 10-15 years after they're packed. They don't actually have expiration dates.
     
  11. toddamus

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    Holy fuck I go to a hockey game and there are four more pages in this thread

    upload_2017-2-3_21-39-46.png
     
  12. toddamus

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    You have hobbies which I will never understand. Why would you want to eat 20 year old food? If you want to risk death, there are safer ways to do it like driving fast or going bareback with a hooker
     
  13. Misanthropic

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    Don't forget the change.

    IMG_1728.JPG
     
  14. Misanthropic

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    Because I can?

    I'm fascinated by the idea that A) this is what our soldiers eat in the field and B) these meals are made to last for upwards of a decade.

    There are enough ways to make sure I won't die- look, smell, taste. The shits are another matter.

    And then there's the perverse fact that not a single person I know has eaten food that is 20 years old.
     
  15. toddamus

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    Like I said, I don't get it, doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy eating food that was made before the Berlin Wall fell.

    I like hockey and drinking, some people find that strange.
     
  16. toytoy88

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    Go to the nearest animal shelter and adopt the sketchiest most angry pitbull they have. When your date shows up, wear dark sunglasses and have the snarling angry beast on leash in one hand and a white cane in the other. Claim you just had eye surgery and it's your seeing eye dog and you have to have it with you. When you get in the car put the dog in the trunk and periodically have your date pull over so you can bang on the trunk lid a few times (This calms angry, upset pitbulls down.)

    Once you arrive at the function feed your seeing eye dog plenty of whiskey and pretend to be hard of hearing so everyone yells. Then "Accidentally" drop the leash.
     
  17. Revengeofthenerds

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    Just ordered a 22 inch parang style machete. There are other ways to clear the brush around my house, but this way is cooler.
     
  18. toddamus

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    Whatever Toytoy suggests don't do it. He is a grim reaper if there ever was one
     
  19. toytoy88

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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    When I was 20 or so....around 1984, I had a roommate that was a bit odd and a collected military shit. One night my girlfriend served me dinner. It included fruit cocktail. After I ate it I got to thinking "Why would I have fruit cocktail in my cupboards?', so I asked her where she got it from.

    "Out of your cupboard" was her reply. I went and looked in the trash and there was a green can. It was canned in 1942. My idiotic roommate thought it was a good idea to store his ancient c-rats with my fucking food.

    On the plus side, I was fine after eating 40+ year old fruit cocktail.
     
  20. toytoy88

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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    Oh I beg to differ...

    It starts like this:

    weed.jpg

    And ends with this:

    weed fire.jpg
     
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