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The 2nd Annual Christmas & New Years Drunk Thread 2010! NSFW

Discussion in 'Weekly Drunk Threads' started by Blue Dog, Dec 1, 2010.

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  1. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    Live streaming of the eclipse.

    <a class="postlink" href="http://www.ustream.tv/channel-popup/eclipselunarchile" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.ustream.tv/channel-popup/eclipselunarchile</a>
     
    #2341 Nettdata, Dec 21, 2010
  2. DrFrylock

    DrFrylock
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    The White

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    #2342 DrFrylock, Dec 21, 2010
  3. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    That's just wrong.
     
    #2343 Nettdata, Dec 21, 2010
  4. tempest

    tempest
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    Disturbed

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    I just drove around for two hours trying to find a spot with no cloud cover. No joy.

    I did, however, get to see a giant Confederate flag. What a state.
     
    #2344 tempest, Dec 21, 2010
  5. Juice

    Juice
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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    I may have told this story elsewhere on the board but...

    My high school german teacher got arrested because the male prostitute he was soliciting for two "forty dollar favors" (according to the newspaper) stole his car. My teacher had gotten drunk and high and called the cops on the hooker. When the cops arrived, they quickly did the math.


    Heres some REAL eclipse coverage
     
    #2345 Juice, Dec 21, 2010
  6. Samr

    Samr
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    I've told the story about how I may be sterile because of firearms, right?

    Skeet shooting a few years ago, my normal (then) shooting motion was to bring the gun up from my side, knock the safety off as I was raising it, then place my fingers on the triggers (it was a side-by-side, so two triggers) as I honed in on the skeet.

    Well, that time I happened to knock the safety off with I guess a bit of a jump, because my fingers prematurely hit both triggers, causing the gun to rapidly recoil.... directly into my crotch.

    I fell to the ground after a loud bang and just started moaning from some of the worst pain I have ever experienced. Everyone rushed over, thinking I was shot.

    My wife doesn't find the story as amusing as I do. I really should get my sperm count tested....
     
    #2346 Samr, Dec 21, 2010
  7. abneretta

    abneretta
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    Shenanigator

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    [​IMG]
     
    #2347 abneretta, Dec 21, 2010
  8. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    Did I just shit myself?

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    I had a manager at a job in college who had been fired for gettin it on with a student when he was a teacher and track coach at an all girls school. He plead guilty to sexual battery on a minor(17) to avoid jail time. He ran marathons and probably weighed 120 pounds soaking wet. He would have been murdered if he had served time. No one knew the whole story but I mean, there are six billion or so people on the planet, people be fuckin.
     
    #2348 Kubla Kahn, Dec 21, 2010
  9. lust4life

    lust4life
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    Yeah, but you're also responsible for Jim Carrey and Celine Dion, so it's a wash, and by calling that a wash, I'm being very generous.
     
    #2349 lust4life, Dec 21, 2010
  10. Blue Dog

    Blue Dog
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    Absentee Mod

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    Wooooooooooooooooo Its a boy Woooooooooooooooooooooooo!
     
    #2350 Blue Dog, Dec 21, 2010
  11. ec88

    ec88
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    Experienced Idiot

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    The only reason I hate the dentist: Hot blonde nurse and old nurse get done at the same time, everytime. Guess which one I get stuck with everytime? I thought today would be my lucky day but the outcome was the same as it always is.
     
    #2351 ec88, Dec 21, 2010
  12. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    I don't know why people feel compelled to send me (or more properly my wife) Christmas Cards that have pictures of their children.

    My wife's friends have some seriously ugly kids.
     
    #2352 The Village Idiot, Dec 21, 2010
  13. shegirl

    shegirl
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    Redemption Seeking Whore

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    The apocalypse is upon us. Brace yourselves.

    This week is always the slowest at the office. I am SO fucking bored but can't leave. I keep telling the clock to move, it obeys like a two year old.
     
    #2353 shegirl, Dec 21, 2010
  14. taste_my_rainbow

    taste_my_rainbow
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    I have a friend that sends a picture card and without fail, all the pictures will have the date stamp from her camera in the corner. I get that it helps you keep up with when the pictures were taken and all that but damn, crop it or photoshop it out. (But her kids are adorable)

    On a related note... I've gotten two cards that weren't signed. I only know who they're from because of the return addresses.
     
    #2354 taste_my_rainbow, Dec 21, 2010
  15. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Yeah, and you have Kings of Leon, Chrysler and the state of New Jersey, so not only are you now washed, but I also used fabric softener and Bounce sheets. Cold water only.

    These Can-Am arguements are always a snake eating itself. Can we talk about different pleasantries instead like jungle rot or cholera?
     
    #2355 Crown Royal, Dec 21, 2010
  16. Elset

    Elset
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    I'd be impressed if it was a Norwegian Ridgeback that had 17 puppies.
     
    #2356 Elset, Dec 21, 2010
  17. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Don't forget to divide by Coldplay and subtract all things hygiene.
     
    #2357 Crown Royal, Dec 21, 2010
  18. Nitwit

    Nitwit
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    What? Didn't she just get pregnant?

    How did you increase the gestation rate so quickly?
     
    #2358 Nitwit, Dec 21, 2010
  19. Nitwit

    Nitwit
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    Awesome.

    That's what I want for Christmas. A Spider Man Sperm Conversion Kit.
     
    #2359 Nitwit, Dec 21, 2010
  20. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
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    Well, see, when a man and a woman love each other very much, they go to an obstetrician and get an ultrasound done, from which the gender of a fetus can be determined.

    In unrelated news, god damn you Australians make fine motherfucking shirazes. Remind me to buy you a (non-Australian) beer sometime.
     
    #2360 ghettoastronaut, Dec 21, 2010
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