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The 2nd Annual Christmas & New Years Drunk Thread 2010! NSFW

Discussion in 'Weekly Drunk Threads' started by Blue Dog, Dec 1, 2010.

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  1. hotwheelz

    hotwheelz
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    I DID
     
    #2601 hotwheelz, Dec 24, 2010
  2. Nettdata

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    Mr. Toast

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    Squirting your colostomy bag onto some old bedsheets isn't art, you know.

    Using the beets in an attempt to improve on the monochromatic nature of the "piece" was a nice try, though.
     
    #2602 Nettdata, Dec 24, 2010
  3. hotwheelz

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    what
     
    #2603 hotwheelz, Dec 24, 2010
  4. Kubla Kahn

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    Did I just shit myself?

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    I was going to say, she isn't dressed like a hipster AT ALL (ok maybe the yachting shoes are hipster I don't know). She looks like any 18-20 something coed. The mustache face she is making is probably the most disturbing thing I have ever seen. Bitch's jaw is out whack and lookin scary as fuuuuuuuuck!
     
    #2604 Kubla Kahn, Dec 24, 2010
  5. Volo

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    The last two pages of this thread have caused uncontrollable fits of laughter, and have also caused me to sprint to the toilet for fear that I might just shit myself.

    My stomach hurts from laughing, and my asshole hurts from shitting too hard while laughing.

    It's hard not to love you guys, it really is.
     
    #2605 Volo, Dec 24, 2010
  6. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE.
    Whoever is responsible for digitally adding bikini shorts to Natalie Portman's glorious thong shot from the upcoming movie Your Highness, I'm going to find you. When I do, I'll stick an umbrella up your ass and open it. Fucking prudes ruin this world and everything in it.

    You know what else I hate? Love Testers. No fucking chance in H-E-Double hockey sticks that I am a "Cold Fish". Not THIS mamma-jamma.
     
    #2606 Crown Royal, Dec 24, 2010
  7. Juice

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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    I would do anything just to have a chance to fuck her on a truck stop bathroom floor. What can I say? Im modest.

    Also, I picked some of this up last night and was wondering, has anyone tried it yet?

    [​IMG]
     
    #2607 Juice, Dec 24, 2010
  8. Guy Fawkes

    Guy Fawkes
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    I've tried it. Good as a novelty but theres no way in fuck a container of alcoholic whipcream will provide good results the next day.

    A big fuck you from my aching brain to McGillicuddy's cherry schnapps and Redbull. Ugh.
     
    #2608 Guy Fawkes, Dec 24, 2010
  9. PIMPTRESS

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    Some people consider that medium to be art and pay top dollar to display it in their home. The fact that hotwheelz is of the crippled class makes it more intriguing to those who have nothing else to spend their dough on....
     
    #2609 PIMPTRESS, Dec 24, 2010
  10. iczorro

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    Dude or not, I think we can all agree on two things. 1. Not a hipster. 2. Not even remotely hot.
     
    #2610 iczorro, Dec 24, 2010
  11. Samr

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    Christmas Eve morning. First of many baileys and hot coffees.

    Parents want to go to church today, which I find funny because the only days they want to go to church are Christmas Eve and Easter. The wife and I (and her family as well) just skip the formalities and ignore church all together.

    Needless to say, I will be getting very drunk before the service today.

    Our father, who shits in heaven, cleanup must be a pain. I am so drunk, just like a skunk, and when I die there better be gin in heaven. Give us this day our daily booze, and forgive us for our drunk texts, as we forgive those who drunk text to us. Lead us not into sobriety, and deliver us from hangovers. A-gin.
     
    #2611 Samr, Dec 24, 2010
  12. jennitalia

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    It's okay to drink at the airport in the morning, right?
     
    #2612 jennitalia, Dec 24, 2010
  13. Samr

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    Airports don't have a time; they're like vegas. When we left on our honeymoon we saw a group of middle-aged gentlemen drinking what appeared to be scotch rocks. At 7:30 in the morning.

    Drinking in the airport is highly underrated, and after Thanksgiving, I am officially a convert. I also love that the waiters don't look twice at you for ordering a few beers and drunk food before 10 am.
     
    #2613 Samr, Dec 24, 2010
  14. Nettdata

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    Absolutely. A really fun game to play is "how much can I drink and still be allowed to board the flight". Nobody ever loses that game. Ever.
     
    #2614 Nettdata, Dec 24, 2010
  15. ghettoastronaut

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    Drinking in the airport isn't just socially acceptable, I'm pretty sure it's mandatory. Why fly sober, anyways? And lord knows that the airline isn't going to be giving you nearly enough booze unless you butter up the flight attendants.

    By the way, if you think airports are good for boozing in, try train stations in Germany. Is it 9 AM on a Saturday? Then yes, I believe I'll have half-litre of beer. And there's nothing stopping you from grabbing a few bottles and carrying them on the train, either.
     
    #2615 ghettoastronaut, Dec 24, 2010
  16. jennitalia

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    It's settled. I'm off to get drunk at the airport. Merry Christmas everyone!
     
    #2616 jennitalia, Dec 24, 2010
  17. tempest

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    Got put on call last night while I was driving into work. Turned around, came home and took a nap. Got called back in around 1am. I had a reasonable expectation to be put on call again tonight, which would have been fine by me, but instead volunteered to come in if it meant that one of my co-workers who has kids could stay at home with them for Christmas eve. There better be some good Karma coming my way....

    To all of you all who have the day/night off, drink up for me. Happy Holiday's TiB.
     
    #2617 tempest, Dec 24, 2010
  18. Nettdata

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    Little known fact: you drink for free if you have the bartenders take boobie pics for you.
     
    #2618 Nettdata, Dec 24, 2010
  19. Samr

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    Yeah, not so much. Fly American Airlines.

    Flying with my wife over Thanksgiving. We got loaded. First they were charging us half for what we ordered (she was drinking champagne, I was drinking vodka clubs), then they were giving us twice what we ordered for the cost of one. I think I drank about 8 of those mini-bottles, and only paid for like 4. She passed out from champagne. By the end of the flight they were out of beer too. Myself and a few other members of my family were the reason why.

    All the booze made it easier to tolerate the little shit next to me who was playing games on his ipad without headphones.
     
    #2619 Samr, Dec 24, 2010
  20. abneretta

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    I have one gift left to wrap and I need to do it before I get too drunk or get sick again and have to lay down. This day kind of sucks so far.

    Please, TiB, save my day. Entertain me, get me drunk, have your way with me, I don't care. Just make this day better.

    Please and thank you.
     
    #2620 abneretta, Dec 24, 2010
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