The 2nd Annual Christmas & New Years Drunk Thread 2010! NSFW

Should we establish a safe word before the festivities get started or just live on the edge?

 

Fuck no. The more people that look back on this thread with competing senses of wonderment and shame the better.

I think doing my crude Woodrow Call santa took away all of my holiday spirit. My family is getting into town today and all I want to do is drink by myself and read.

 

I'm not sure that this spiked egg nog will cure me, but it is making me feel better.

Agreed. Safe words are for pussies.

Speaking of pussies, you sir, have pussified Mr. Call there and I don't appreciate it.

 

It's Woodrow Call. He could wear 6 inch heels, a tutu, and be singing show tunes and be the biggest bad ass around.

 

The 2nd Annual Christmas & New Years Drunk Thread 2010! NSFW

Boobie pic days are over. I guess this is growing up...

I also think rum and coke is my new favorite morning drink.

 

I still have hope.

 

Not taking boobie pics makes you a grown up?

 

I am waiting til my kids go to their dad's, we had our Christmas this morning. Then I will be getting lubricated to meet the boyfriend's parental units for the first time, at some outrageously expensive and classy restaurant that serves roadkill and other delicacies.

This might get interesting.

I don't know if their first impression of me should be in the 6" black heels I have selected to explain my drunken gait, but they might as well find out now that I am nuts.

 

Holy fuck, I've never had much respect for my brothers drinking standards, thought he was a pussy, was expecting at best a bottle of jack daniels or something for christmas. Instead he's got me a bottle of Glenkinche 12year, absolutely delicious, going down fantastic.

 

I will be spending Christmas Eve with my husbands family, who run the range from judgmental "Christians" who frown on the rest of us heathens, to wine connoisseurs who frown on any type of swill you may bring (even if it was a bottle of Cristal, I am sure they would find fault in the vintage), to the loudest most obnoxious drunk you can find. So, I don't think I will start drinking yet and hope that the lame ones head home early so I don't embarrass myself in front of people who will judge me.

 

Yeah, if growing up means no boobie pics I think I finally understand where Peter Pan was coming from.

 

My strategy would just to get that guy so drunk that no one is paying attention to you.

Or you could go full troll and just bring boxed wine and copies of The God Delusion for everyone.

 

Don't underestimate these folks, they can judge more than one person at a time.

I like your ideas though, I should also prepare a list of topics to have ready for dinner conversation (I forgot to mention that although I have known my mother in father in law for about 10 years now, the conversation is still superficial small talk because the unpleasant is not to be discussed). I am thinking abortion rights, politics, Obamacare, with a side of thoughts on gay marriage would be a good start.

On a happier note, IT'S SNOWING!

 

Stayed up until 6 wrapping presents and smoking joints to my face. I am planning on doing the same this afternoon with some visits from friends. I am hoping to get a nap in before I have to go to the families tonight but I have a feeling time will not be on my side.

 

How many baileys coffees? FOUR baileys coffees!!!!

You're supposed to mix the two with a one-to-one ratio right? Because that's what I'm doing, and it tastes like awesome.

I see this going nowhere (read: everywhere), fast. My family has a habit of getting the kids in the group a bunch of elaborate presents that require large mechanical assembly. Ever tried to work a power drill, jig saw, leveler, shotgun (every project is made better with shotguns), or hit a nail on the head, in the pitch black of night, while borderline blackout?

I have a feeling the airsoft rifles will make an appearance tonight. I can sling two over my shoulder and hide them under my coat. They will be well-received by everyone except everyone but me.

 

On a random note: I made a bet with an uncle that I can hit twice as many skeet as him, with half as many shots. Making it more difficult, he's been sober since I can remember, and I intend to be slightly inebriated.

Loser buys the shells.

Yeah, I'm that cocky.

 

I abused myself last night with Bud Light, Tequila, Red Bull and Vodka. Woke up this morning with my head pounding, so I decided to drive around and run some errands, just to get some fresh air. I had my first dose of caffeine and nicotine for the day, which threw my intestines into spin cycle.
So anyways, I sharted in my pants while standing at the counter at the parts store. I got the fuck out of there as soon as I got my stuff paid for, rushed home, and had a butt piss of epic proportions. Apparently my hangover was in my shit, because now I feel wonderful. Plus, I won free hunna dahs last night. Merry Christmas to me.

The situation in the parts store reminded me of this:

 

So... I don't even remember posting that drunk shit last night. Very very surprisingly, I feel pretty good this morning. Champagne is my friend!