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The 2nd Annual Christmas & New Years Drunk Thread 2010! NSFW

Discussion in 'Weekly Drunk Threads' started by Blue Dog, Dec 1, 2010.

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  1. Gravitas

    Gravitas
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    Damnit, I suppose you are right. But if you did it you could get a pic and I could use the caption: Oh, the huge manatee!

    Anyway there are a couple guys driving down a back county road in Oklahoma when the driver stops the truck and looks fondly over at a big ass oak tree.

    "That there tree is where I lost my virginity," the driver says.
    "Oh, yeah. Roomier than the truck bed I guess," the passenger says.
    "Yeah, it was a pretty good experience until her mom showed up."
    "What? Seriously, what did her mom say?"
    "BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
     
    #2741 Gravitas, Dec 25, 2010
  2. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Before this song, I didn't know how fuckin' magnets worked either. Now I can take comfort in knowing it will simply be a mystery forever.

    Seriously, where's a band helicopter crash when you really need one?

    Also, Merry Christmas. My daughter only woke up at 6 am. I love sleeping in on a Saturday.
     
    #2742 Crown Royal, Dec 25, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  3. Spoz

    Spoz
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    ok, I wasn't drunk until my family left and a friend told me (via the interwebs) that he was drinking long island iced teas. "fantastic!" I thought. "I have all those ingredients! and beer steins to make it in!"

    now I think if I were to try and make another, I would just mix a bit of everything. was it rum/tequila/gin/vodka or am I missing one? I just realised it was supposed to have sour mix and triple sec but I think I just doubled up on the rum instead.

    anyway, merry christmas you idiots! I am all alone except for my housemates (jack, jim, jose etc) so I'll probably be hanging around for a while or until I pass out.
     
    #2743 Spoz, Dec 25, 2010
  4. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    My Mom's the biggest kid at Christmas.

    She lives 3 time zones away, and I'm not there for Christmas this year.

    She just called me. Twice, because I didn't answer the first time... because it's 5 in the morning over here and I was sleeping.

    Anyway, she collect pigs. Never known why, but she just has. I ran across an antique Piglet (as in Winnie-the-Pooh) jack-in-the-box toy this year for Christmas, and she just opened it. And proceeded to ball her eyes out.

    Turns out that THIS is the identical toy she had when she was a kid, that somebody stepped on and broke, and it was her favourite toy, ever. She sucked it up and never complained, but I guess always wanted it, and that's probably why she collects pigs.

    I just spent 10 minutes on Skype with my mom showing off her jack-in-the-box. Hilarious.

    Time to make a strong double shot coffee and grab a shower... enjoy the day!
     
    #2744 Nettdata, Dec 25, 2010
  5. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
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    Santa has brought me the best Christmas present I could have ever wanted: my first solid shit in approximately 10 days.

    You try taking 7-8 dumps a day for a week. Nothing you appreciate more than not having to sprint to the bathroom.
     
    #2745 ghettoastronaut, Dec 25, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  6. Samr

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    Wife didn't want to sleep for more than five minutes at a shot last night. So guess who else didn't sleep? Awesome.

    Was somehow conned into going to church last night, so I took the wax candle and wrote "fuck pussy" on the inside of the holder.

    Cold front blew in last night and it went from about 70 yesterday to fucking 30 degrees today. High of 50. Welcome to the south; I'm getting out my winter clothes.

    Merry Fucking Christmas. Y'all are an entertaining bunch of fuckers. Except for ballsack. He's a hairbrush fucker. One step farther.
     
    #2746 Samr, Dec 25, 2010
  7. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    New Bitch On Top

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    Merry Christmas everybody! And happy holidays. And [insert culturally friendly greeting]. Hope you all have a fantastic day.

    [​IMG]
     
    #2747 Dcc001, Dec 25, 2010
  8. MoreCowbell

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    Merry Christmas you fucks.
     
    #2748 MoreCowbell, Dec 25, 2010
  9. KillaKam

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    Merry Christmas Tib!

    I'm on food overload.Wanted to drink hard last night, but the hangover and Xmas Eve dinner did me in...sleep was a good choice. Making up for it today though, Champagne with the family this morning? Yessir.

    A Christmas Story marathon will never get tiresome. I'm thinking about going to the house/museum today(it was filmed around these parts in C-town, for those who didn't know).
     
    #2749 KillaKam, Dec 25, 2010
  10. Nitwit

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    Drove up to Denton, Tx. from the coast yesterday for Christmas this year. No snow this year and not even freezing. Looks like whiskey and football with the cousins later.

    Here is something for y'all to unwrap.



    .............and a jingle!



    Merry Christmas, TiB!
     

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    #2750 Nitwit, Dec 25, 2010
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  11. Diablo

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    Merry Christmas to you all!!

    Is it a sin to be drunk during midnight mass? If so, more ammo for my trip to hell.
     
    #2751 Diablo, Dec 25, 2010
  12. Misanthropic

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    The crazy side of the family (mine) has been dealt with. Now I can enjoy a few cocktails and spend a relaxing Christmas day with the Mrsanthropic's side of the family.

    Merry Christmas everyone.
     
    #2752 Misanthropic, Dec 25, 2010
  13. ghettoastronaut

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    Not if you were at Catholic mass.
     
    #2753 ghettoastronaut, Dec 25, 2010
  14. Tope

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    That's what I forgot.

    Merry Christmas to all you TiBers. Get drunk, fuck a fatty and punch a baby for me!
     
    #2754 Tope, Dec 25, 2010
  15. Frank

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    Man v Food marathon today, well played Travel Channel
     
    #2755 Frank, Dec 25, 2010
  16. DrFrylock

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    Is that right? Isn't it punch a drunk, get a fatty, and fuck a baby? Wait, no, that's not it. Get a baby, fuck a drunk, punch a fatty? I can't keep this shit straight.
     
    #2756 DrFrylock, Dec 25, 2010
  17. iczorro

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    Happy XMas, you slack-jawed fucks.

     
    #2757 iczorro, Dec 25, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  18. LatinGroove

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    Still cold as fuck around these parts though.

    Just that they were very rough and seem like their quality control has gone down considerably.

    In other news, I drove last night to pick up my new shotty, I got a used Mossberg 500 with a 28 inch barrel in pretty good condition for $150. It's only got two small scratches in the receiver. It should make a really good bird gun or for HD since I'd previously gotten rid of all of my firearms.

    I really wanted to pickup a used wingmaster that I saw for about $325 but couldn't justify driving more than an hour for it.
     
    #2758 LatinGroove, Dec 25, 2010
  19. xrayvision

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    "Just that they were very rough and seem like their quality control has gone down considerably."

    I expect the gun to kick like a mule. I've never heard anything bad about them from anyone who has owned one. We shall see. I'm taking it trap shooting tomorrow to break it in. I haven't shot trap in about 9 years.
     
    #2759 xrayvision, Dec 25, 2010
  20. ASL

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    Disturbed

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    Well I was supposed to work at the airport tonight, I figured why not? Parents are in New Mexico, sister is in Germany, friends are with their families and I no longer have a S.O., so I'll cover it for everyone else. I get outside and the car is dead. I have a portable jump start system that is now also dead. Me thinks its a bigger issue than the battery.
    So I come inside and call the appropriate people to make sure work is covered, and then look in the fridge. One beer. Fuck.
    A nice two mile walk to find an open gas station later, and I'm sitting in front of my heater sipping whiskey and beer while watching Dexter.

    Merry f**king Christmas, everyone.
     
    #2760 ASL, Dec 25, 2010
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