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The 2nd Annual Christmas & New Years Drunk Thread 2010! NSFW

Discussion in 'Weekly Drunk Threads' started by Blue Dog, Dec 1, 2010.

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  1. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Oh my fuck I have got to stop using MSN messenger to send text messages to phones because I can't keep sending texts intended for my girlfriend to other people.

    If I may contribute something, this is where I've been getting my pictures from: <a class="postlink" href="http://thingsthatexciteme.tumblr.com/archive" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://thingsthatexciteme.tumblr.com/archive</a>
     
  2. ASL

    ASL
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    Disturbed

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    Getting laid off is a good reason to drink, right? Shitty situation, the new Maintenance director has been cutting people left and right, one mechanic had been with the company for 23 years, and the reason he got for termination was "restructuring." What a douche.
    Oh well, more time to rock climb and study until I can find something new.
     
  3. Nettdata

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    Mr. Toast

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    I tend to start small before bringing outthe WMD, my little SheBear.

    Lull you into a false sense of security by means of rehashing the same old same old.

    Then before you know it, BAM. Faster than you can say Christopher Walken and Deadzone, Skyello Video.
     
  4. shegirl

    shegirl
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    Redemption Seeking Whore

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    I hate you.
     
  5. abneretta

    abneretta
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    I just spent all god damn day cleaning the kitchen. Dishes done. Stove scrubbed. Table cleared off (this is where I normally dump anything I happen to carry in the house.) Floor swept and mopped. Fuck I'm tired.

    Now I'm sitting on my ass drinking a coke that is mysteriously missing a vital ingredient. My Crown is in the kitchen and the fucking floor is still wet. In the name of drinking by myself on a Tuesday night I'm going to go screw up my hard work.

    I think you guys are bad influences.
     
  6. Gravitas

    Gravitas
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    Fuck cleaning.

    Fuck cleaning especially when you are having to clean up after someone else. On Sunday I had to clean three different apartments and holy hell was it disgusting.

    One girl apparently let chocolate syrup spill and pool in her cabinet, left it there, and covered it up when I inspected the unit when she was living there. Do you know how long it takes to clean up syrup like that? I had to continuously wet down paper towels, let it soak, and remove them over the course of an hour and a half to get it all off. A straight razor couldn't even get that shit off quickly.

    Another lady (who I feel bad for because she was 80 years old and couldn't really take care of herself) spilled what I think was syrup all over her fucking fridge to the point that it was actually in the fridge seal.

    The worst was cleaning dead cockroaches out of chocolate syrup chick's freezer though. She had a fucking kid for christ's sake. I can send in Terminix 10,000 times, but unless you are cleaning up your spilled chocolate syrup there is really nothing I can do.
     
  7. zyron

    zyron
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    My brother stopped by with his 3 1/2 year old son a little while ago. Sitting in the living room all I start to smell is gas. Go into the kitchen and the kid has turned the knobs on the burners but not enough to get them to ignite so it is just filling the house with gas.

    Thank god I don't have kids.
     
  8. Gravitas

    Gravitas
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    Gif time:

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  9. Tuesday

    Tuesday
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    Disturbed

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    Looking for advice, figure this place is as good as any...

    So my girlfriend gets hyper sensitive after orgasming. Like, I was going down on her, and brought her close like 3-4 times, then when I finally finished her off, she literally could barely move. I kissed her shoulder and her whole body shuddered. This is the first girl I've been with where this is the case. With other girls we could always keep fooling around and changing things up, maybe just avoiding her clit/nipples for a bit so she can recover. Any ideas if it's possible to work around something like this? I mean, it was a huge ego boost for me, sure, but that was just supposed to be the start of the night, but she literally couldn't take anymore for over a half hour, at which point we were both passing(ed) out.
    I don't know if you can condition yourself to not be so sensitive afterward, or what. Any ideas?
     
  10. Gravitas

    Gravitas
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    It's like you are complaining about having too much money.
     
  11. abneretta

    abneretta
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    Why is it that anytime a Mark Wahlberg movie is on tv I always end up watching it? No matter how horrible it is (ie: Planet of the Apes) I watch the whole thing, it's ridiculous.

    Right now I'm watching Fear, he plays such a creeper in this movie. It's been ages since I've seen it and I just noticed that he's totally knuckle deep in Reese Witherspoon when they're riding the roller coaster.

    Oh Marky Mark, how I love you.
     
    #3051 abneretta, Dec 28, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  12. ex Animo

    ex Animo
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    Experienced Idiot

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    Or having too big of a dick.
     
  13. Samr

    Samr
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    I like beer.
     
  14. Diablo

    Diablo
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    Shiner Holiday Cheer is delicious. It actually tastes like beer mixed with Christmas.
     
  15. abneretta

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    One of the kids a grade under me in grade school would sing this chorus at recess a lot. I'd mention the fact that it was a Christian school, but it was Lutheran so that shouldn't be much of a surprise.
     
    #3055 abneretta, Dec 28, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  16. Samr

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    You missed my promotions? 75% of the average human body is water; 75% of my body is a combination of gin and Shiner Holiday Cheer.

    The ONLY thing I do not like about that brew is that it cannot be mixed with any hard alcohol. Coors light and jim beam? Not as bad as you think. Tecate and tequila? It takes the edge off. Fat tire and crown? You'd be damn surprised. Miller light, vodka, and lime? Sounds disgusting, but if you want a solid buzz and don't care about the trailer park connotations, it goes pretty hard. My favorite, though, is champagne, Monster, and rum. If I want to get truly fucked, that's how I roll.

    So yeah, Holiday Cheer is pretty much some of the best beer ever. And so is gin. But it's not a beer. It's a booze. And that means it's stronger. Yaaaa!!!
     
  17. Gravitas

    Gravitas
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    I fail at reading comprehension.
     
  18. Queen-Bee

    Queen-Bee
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    Oh hi gang! Belated Merry Christmas. I've returned from my holy trek to the Motherland.

    That bitch Vegas almost got me this time, but I've made it back with only some permamant lung and liver damage. Robbed and poisoned? Yes, but you're going to have to do better than that to beat me. Ha! I'm a champion!

    Oh, and ladies, meet my future toy - whenever I track him down.
     

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  19. Samr

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    No, I'm talking about mixing booze with beer, you dipshit. Not double fisting. I mean pouring a beer, and then pouring hard alcohol on top of it. For this, you'll need a really large glass. And it will be worth it.

    I cannot be the only one that has done this.

    Beer, in and of itself, is delicious. But it does not get you drunk, as the more delicious a beer is, the darker it usually is. The solution to this, of course, is adding alcohol. Not so much as to dilute the taste of the beer, but just enough as to buttress the awesomeness that is the brew. Light beer? Add vodka, rum, or everclear/moonshine. Dark beer? Find the appropriate dark liquor (anything but jager), and roll with it.

    The problem is, people think of beer as an end in and of itself. It is not, exclusively. Beer CAN be an end, but often it is merely a conduit to more awesome levels of drunkenness. These levels are achieved, obviously, by mixing beer with hard alcohol. I mean, really, who would use a non-alcoholic mixer, when you have the option of beer?

    GOOOOO SHOTGUNS!!!!
     
  20. Tuesday

    Tuesday
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    haha I suppose. Except that I didn't get to finish. I felt so, so used dammit! *cries*

    In other news, Pens just won. Great game to watch. Hoping the weather holds out for Saturday. My seats suck (though really every seat sucks for actually watching the game...) but I don't care, the atmosphere is going to be INSANE.
     
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