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The 2nd Annual Christmas & New Years Drunk Thread 2010! NSFW

Discussion in 'Weekly Drunk Threads' started by Blue Dog, Dec 1, 2010.

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  1. Rob4Broncos

    Rob4Broncos
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    I have 60 IMDb.com worthy credits and counting...
     
    #3901 Rob4Broncos, Jan 1, 2011
  2. whathasbeenseen

    whathasbeenseen
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    No. My mom is the hardest working secretary I've ever seen. My brother is the educated one with his doctorate. My father is a carpenter with a heavy taste for cocaine and larceny of varying degrees depending on his level of boredom.

    I only wear polo shirts to work and routinely walk up to people with few enough chromosomes to pop their polo collars and readjust them to a down position while thanking myself on their behalf.
     
    #3902 whathasbeenseen, Jan 1, 2011
  3. Rob4Broncos

    Rob4Broncos
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    Blah, blah, blah...what we all want to know is how many thousands in unpaid child support do you owe, and for how many children whom you never see or visit?
     
    #3903 Rob4Broncos, Jan 1, 2011
  4. PewPewPow

    PewPewPow
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    Saw the message the mods sent everyone, definitely thought I got banned for posting something while being black-out drunk.
     
    #3904 PewPewPow, Jan 1, 2011
  5. jennitalia

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    All of the above, obviously.
     
    #3905 jennitalia, Jan 1, 2011
  6. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    Nah, we just thought it'd be a nice touch to send a little note to everyone with the rep reset. Never mind the fact that they're all different, so I hope you appreciate the effort it took for us to show our appreciation like that to all the members of the board.
     
    #3906 Nettdata, Jan 1, 2011
  7. PIMPTRESS

    PIMPTRESS
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    It's for your avatar. Good god, man.
     
    #3907 PIMPTRESS, Jan 1, 2011
  8. whathasbeenseen

    whathasbeenseen
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    i ain't got no kids. If you ask your wife you'd know that I only fuck in the ass. Its the only orifice that can accommodate my extremely large black cock. Which by the way enables me to wear pink shirts and not look utterly emasculated like my balls have been confiscated by someone half my size who beats me and fucks me up the ass with a rubber dildo.
     
    #3908 whathasbeenseen, Jan 1, 2011
  9. BL1Y

    BL1Y
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    My family finally opened our Christmas presents today. We went down to Mobile to visit my mom's family for Christmas, and my parents pack so much crap in to the car (like two coolers, a box of wrapping paper, and a cake) that we didn't have room for our own gifts, so we each just took one thing for each other to have something to open, and then all our gifts for people down there.

    This is, honest to God, perhaps the first year I didn't receive a single rock from anyone. As an added bonus, it's also the first year since at least high school that I didn't receive any expired food. This is fucking awesome.

    My brother got a rock though. Well, a fossil (one of the generic ones you can buy anywhere) stuck in a piece of rock.

    I got a signed anthology of poems by Robert Penn Warren, as well as a signed copy of The Man Who Died Twice by some 3 time pulitzer prize winner no one's ever heard of, Edwin Arlington Robinson, but it's dated 1924, and since I'm a book whore, this is really fucking awesome to me.

    For how lame the actual holiday itself was, the swag was probably in the top 2. I'm going to call it a wash. I know the family stuff is supposed to be more important, but I think it's okay to value the gifts more if it's in a "look on the brighter side" context.

    Oh, and fuck the Big 10. ROLL TIDE!
     
    #3909 BL1Y, Jan 1, 2011
  10. PIMPTRESS

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    Gotta love it.
     
    #3910 PIMPTRESS, Jan 1, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  11. Rob4Broncos

    Rob4Broncos
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    HA! Now we KNOW you're black. That's awesome. Your real name is Leroy, isn't it? Do you work at and/or frequent Zaxby's??
     
    #3911 Rob4Broncos, Jan 1, 2011
  12. BL1Y

    BL1Y
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    I love Ron White. The rest of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour can go to hell though. He's really the odd man out. Three of the people are telling redneck jokes, and one of them is a redneck telling funny jokes.
     
    #3912 BL1Y, Jan 1, 2011
  13. PIMPTRESS

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    Don't get too excited, he's much smarter and far more dangerous than most people on this board.


    He's put up with me for years now.


    Agreed. His old shit is awesome, before he kept telling the same stories.
     
    #3913 PIMPTRESS, Jan 1, 2011
  14. BL1Y

    BL1Y
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    Much smarter? Probably not black then. Plus, I have it on good authority (ie: first hand knowledge) that white people eat at Zaxby's.
     
    #3914 BL1Y, Jan 1, 2011
  15. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Just show them your Hooker Union card, and you'll get a discount. Now go make me some money, bitch.
     
    #3915 Nettdata, Jan 1, 2011
  16. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    We have to dress? That's not how I normally mod...
     
    #3916 Nettdata, Jan 1, 2011
  17. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    $10 is $10. US and CDN.

    You be my biggest earning ho....
     
    #3917 Nettdata, Jan 1, 2011
  18. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    Fuck that.

    These be my "I be moderating" shades.

    [​IMG]
     
    #3918 Nettdata, Jan 1, 2011
  19. Aetius

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    I think I'm gonna write Pimptress or Jennitalia on my ID badge and watch how many of you turn green and run home to shower like a rape victim after seeing me.
     
    #3919 Aetius, Jan 1, 2011
  20. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    Fewer than you might think. Or hope.
     
    #3920 Nettdata, Jan 1, 2011
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