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The 2nd Annual Christmas & New Years Drunk Thread 2010! NSFW

Discussion in 'Weekly Drunk Threads' started by Blue Dog, Dec 1, 2010.

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  1. Haterade

    Haterade
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    Village Idiot

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    Do you write on his bathroom mirror "I'm HIV Positive" with lipstick before he wakes up the next morning too?
     
    #3961 Haterade, Jan 2, 2011
  2. Haterade

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    Reminds me when people would yell "STOP MOVING WHILE YOUR FUCKING RUNNING MARINE!" at boots (Private First Class's right out of boot camp) who were running back and forth doing bitch work on base. The boot would stop as soon as you yelled it, and then take 3-5 seconds to realize we were fucking with him.
     
    #3962 Haterade, Jan 2, 2011
  3. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    When I was a kid, my mother told me tales on how my dad was a bad-ass former gang member in his younger years and I didn't believe it because he's so nice and stoic. My dad wasn't extreme enough to chase a guy with a shovel (though he did throw an adjustable wrench at some teenagers once), but he believed in the power of vengeance. One of our neighbours, "Asshole" as my parents reffered to him, let his Great Dane (a wussy, horse-like dog with a baseball bat for a tail) leave a monstrous, picther's mound-like loaf on our lawn. My dad calmly scooped it up and using a scrap piece of carboard spread it all over the owner's porch and railing like spackle. There were about a billion flies around his house in less than 2 hours.

    Fucking Beautiful.
     
    #3963 Crown Royal, Jan 2, 2011
  4. Samr

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    Third day of hearing loss, it still sucks. I think I'm gonna go to the doctor in a bit.

    You live by the gun, you lose hearing by the gun.

    Always wear hearing protection with firearms, kids, they make that stuff for a reason.
     
    #3964 Samr, Jan 2, 2011
  5. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    I once lost my hearing for a week because some stupid girl suggested I check out a new band called Maroon 5.
     
    #3965 Crown Royal, Jan 2, 2011
  6. Samr

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    Shooting guns in celebration of the new year on friday. 15 round clip; about 3 shots in my left side hearing went bye bye (weird, because I was shooting the gun on the right side).

    No pain, just instant quiet. From research it looks to be permanent. My wife has already figured out she can talk shit to me on my left and I won't know what's up.

    It sucks, but at least it doesn't hurt.
     
    #3966 Samr, Jan 2, 2011
  7. Samr

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    I like the way you think.

    My father in-law has some major hearing loss from working with engines, and he says it's the greatest thing that happened to their marriage.
     
    #3967 Samr, Jan 2, 2011
  8. scootah

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    Although, if you do get that full recovery, for the sake of your marriage - you might want to just go on pretending that you're mostly deaf.
     
    #3968 scootah, Jan 2, 2011
  9. jordan_paul

    jordan_paul
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    Disturbed

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    I just hope 2011 dosent suck as much as the first 3 quarters of 2010. Between quitting school, writing off my truck, working a shit job for an asshole for 9 months and breaking up with my girlfriend, 2010 was the worst year of my life. Hell , just as a final fuck you Jordan_Paul, I got hit by a drunk driver on fucking New Years Eve, and did a pile of damage to the rear end of my truck. The only good that came out of it was getting into my trade.


    Cheers to a better year.
     
    #3969 jordan_paul, Jan 2, 2011
  10. abneretta

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    I pussed out and went to bed at like 10:30 last night. I don't work tomorrow so I plan on redeeming myself today/tonight. I'm gonna start here in about 45 minutes by watching the Chiefs kill the Raiders, I hope they do anyway I'm friends with a few Raiders fans and it's unbearable being around them when they beat the Chiefs.

    My cousin's the same way, I can't remember which side it is he can't hear out of but every time I try to talk to him I always end up standing on that side. That or he just knows I don't remember which side so he can get away with pretending like he doesn't hear me no matter which side I'm standing on.
     
    #3970 abneretta, Jan 2, 2011
  11. Eastcoaster

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    if the hearing loss is permanent, it'll be annoying. Pray to whatever god you believe in though, that you don't develop a bad case of tinnitus.
     
    #3971 Eastcoaster, Jan 2, 2011
  12. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    That is so played out. It's all about dropping the needle and churning the butter.

    A little lawnmower action never hurt, either.
     
    #3972 Crown Royal, Jan 2, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  13. JGold

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    I wasn't going to drink today. Then I remembered I'm a Carolina Panthers fan.
     
    #3973 JGold, Jan 2, 2011
  14. Samr

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    Went to the doctor, they basically said they have no clue if it'll come back or what to do, and to go see an ENT.

    I guess having a brain tumor kind of predisposed me to hearing issues. My equilibrium is already fucked from the surgery, and obviously this isn't helping it. Driving is kind of weird/dangerous now.

    So the injury tally for this weekend: large burn scar on my hand (drunken fireworks), left side deafness (drunken shooting), bruise/hole in my face (my bird bit me).

    My poor wife has to put up with this shit constantly.

    Yes, I'm cracking another beer.
     
    #3974 Samr, Jan 2, 2011
  15. Diablo

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    Careful, with your track record, you could end up with one leg or 8 fingers. Knock on wood.
     
    #3975 Diablo, Jan 2, 2011
  16. scootah

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    Dude, that sound you don't hear? Its Darwin. Hes telling you to back off the fucking sauce while you still have reproductive capabilities.
     
    #3976 scootah, Jan 2, 2011
  17. Beefy Phil

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    Shhhhh. This is nature taking its course. Look how it moves. It's so...so beautiful.
     
    #3977 Beefy Phil, Jan 2, 2011
  18. scootah

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    It's like Funniest Home Videos narrated by Richard Attenborough. I wonder if he'll neuter himself while drunkenly juggling fireaxes for a finale?
     
    #3978 scootah, Jan 2, 2011
  19. Beefy Phil

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    On the next episode of You Earned It!...
     
    #3979 Beefy Phil, Jan 2, 2011
  20. Samr

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    I think I've posted about it on here before. I may actually be sterile. A few years we were skeet shooting (sober), and a series of events led to the shotgun recoiling into my crotch. I dropped like a bag of rocks.

    I am smart with guns, and booze, but I just have really, really shitty luck. And especially when you shoot them as frequently as I do (a case a week-ish), it's a matter of exposure; something's eventually going to happen.
     
    #3980 Samr, Jan 2, 2011
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