The 2nd Annual Christmas & New Years Drunk Thread 2010! NSFW

Fucking neighbours.

At around midnight (3 hours ago), I was about to go to bed, and realized that I was out of milk. The corner store is about 4 miles away, so I figure "what the hell, I'll go out, check my mail, and grab some milk and coffee cream for tomorrow's breakfast and coffee".

That way I could just stay inside all day, in my sweats and slippers, have my bowl of Fruit Loops, drink coffee and scotch, and not have to get dressed or go out at all. Just a nice, lazy, on-the-couch-by-the-fire kind of day.

So...

I remote start the truck to get it all warmed up, throw on my winter jacket and boots, and head out. I drive halfway down the access road before I see a car just sitting there. No lights, windows all iced over, snow on the car. It's on the access road, but blocking the road so I can't get by. It IS a very narrow, 400 yard packed dirt logging road kind of access lane in the middle of some big-ass trees... no hope in hell of getting around it.

But I recognize the car; it belongs to one of my neighbours. I share the lane/access road with 2 others. My immediate next door neighbour is kind of weird, but he's a good guy. The one beside him is fucking nuts.

The story goes that she used to be a stripper/hooker that bagged herself a rich dude, and had his kid, got married, had another kid, got divorced, took half, and has been a bat shit crazy single bitch ever since.

Part of the divorce was she got this house on the lake a couple doors down from me, but it wasn't finished. It was left open to the elements, no doors or windows, for almost 2 full years. In a fucking rain forest. Then the ex-husband went broke due to a failed real estate deal, and she no longer had cash to pay the property taxes, or heat, or to have the house finished. She has done something in the past 4 months, and workers have made it livable and she and the 2 kids are in there.

She's the kind of crazy chick who won't even wave hello to the only other 2 people who share this lane. Great.

I tell you all that because I recognize it as her car, and this will be my first time interacting with her in the 2 years she's been out here. I get out of my truck and go take a look at stuff, and it's clear to see that she's gotten herself stuck in the mud and snow, and just left it there. The engine is cold, and ice is formed on the windshield, so I know it's been there for a while. Her car is a right hand drive Skyline, lowered and modded, and with tires almost like slicks, and she's driving it in a few inches of snow, on a logging road with major pot holes, so it's not a big surprise. My neighbour's smaller Datsun pickup has issues with this road when it's got snow.

At this point the only real option is to go up to her house and ask WTF.

I grab a light out of my truck, and make the walk up her lane. I ring the doorbell, a few times, and she finally answers the door. Clearly she was in bed asleep, and she's not happy.

I ask her if it was her car, she says "yes", and confirms my thoughts on what happened.

I then say "well, we have to move it."

"I'll call someone in the morning."

"Uhmmm... you're blocking [neighbour] and I in until you do, that's not going to work. You've got to deal with it now. And I'll help you, too."

"Well, if you want it moved, then YOU call the tow truck."

That kind of rubs me the wrong way.

"No, if I want it moved, I'll push it off the fucking road with my big-ass truck. The big diesel you hear, that's it idling in front of your car right now. I have no problem just walking down there, putting it in 4 wheel low, and shoving it into the swampy ditch so I can get by. Won't do a thing to my truck, but odds are it'll seriously fuck up your ride. Now, I'm not trying to be a dick here... but it's either that, or you call the tow truck right now and get it moved."

It was actually quite humorous to see her face go through the looks of "oh, let's see you try, asshole" to "oh, shit, you really would do that" to "I'm about to bitch you out like this is all your fault" to "uhhhh I better not piss this guy off".

I think about it a second, and offer another solution. "Tell you what... get your two kids up (they're teen-aged boys) and they can help. I'll go grab some stuff and meet you at the car in 10 minutes, and we'll get it unstuck and out of the way."

"Uhmmm... OK... guess we can do that."

Needless to say, it took us about 20 minutes of pushing/pulling/towing/digging/filling to get her car the 40 yards to her driveway, and just far enough into it so that it wasn't blocking the access road any more.

She turned the car off, left it where it was, locked it, and then went back home.

Didn't even say "thanks" or "I'm sorry for the inconvenience". What a bitch.

What the fuck is wrong with people these days?

 

Plus she would have been one of those under the radar girls that has a banging body and never knew it. Down too earth and fucking maniac in the sack.

 

Good morning TiB. Its a lazy Sunday, so here are some boobs:

NSFW