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The 2nd Annual Christmas & New Years Drunk Thread 2010! NSFW

Discussion in 'Weekly Drunk Threads' started by Blue Dog, Dec 1, 2010.

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  1. SwampDonkey

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    Another one that pisses me off is the 45-55ish woman that kind of wanders around the store in a daze. They never seem to know where they are, will stop without warning, and kind of just stand there. They always end up in my way. Maybe they've taken too much xanax or something.
     
    #5021 SwampDonkey, Jan 9, 2011
  2. mya

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    You must not live in suburbia like I do, where the women that age working alone generally have this shit down to a fine science (provided they are not part of the profile mentioned by Diablo - or part of another category he forgot to mention, the frugal shoppers with coupon filing systems). That dazed look is generally reserved more for the men. In particular the recent divorcees with a couple of kids in tow wondering what in the hell they eat.
     
    #5022 mya, Jan 9, 2011
  3. bewildered

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    When you're like me (staring intently at the baking chocolate for 5 minutes trying to decide whether semi sweet or bittersweet is better), the old lady who's been baking since she's 20 is a godsend. This old lady wandered past me and offered me advice on baking. Thanks grandma! Grocery stores are just filled with walking cookbooks.
     
    #5023 bewildered, Jan 9, 2011
  4. D26

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    The dazed look on most men's faces is that of "I don't know where the fuck anything is." Any time I go to a grocery store, there is a 45 to 60ish aged guy wondering, looking up and down every shelf of every aisle, looking for that one obscure item that his wife sent him out for, and he just can't find.

    I've had this issue, too, and it led to the second biggest fight the wife and I ever had. She sent me to Walmart to get a very specific kind of laundry detergent (some allergy free, scent free stuff, can't remember for sure the brand name). The Walmart didn't have it. I called her and informed her of this. She asked if I had asked anyone that worked there to help me find it. I said no, and she told me to, and hung up. I asked a worker, who said they were out of it. I called my wife again, informed her of this, and she flipped out, told me I was lying about asking the guy working there (I am usually averse to asking when I can usually find or do something myself), and that they MUST have it, because she has bought it there before. Her only reasonable explaintion was that I was lying to get out of looking for it anymore. Apparently, spending 20 minutes walking up and down the aisle looking through every single god damned detergent wasn't thorough enough. I hung up on her, bought the other stuff I came for, and went home. She yelled at me again, I yelled at her, she began to passive-aggressively slam doors while I told her she was being stupid. You know, stupid couple fight shit. Finally, she said she was "going for a drive to calm down."

    "Going for a drive to calm down" was code for "I'm going to that Walmart, finding that fucking detergent, and rubbing it in your stupid, lazy face!" She came back 45 minutes later, significantly calmer. I apologized for calling her stupid, and she apologized for overreacting to something so mundane and stupid. This was exactly how the conversation ended:

    Me (with a sizable grin): So... they didn't have it, did they?
    Her: No.
    Me (still grinning): So, I was right?
    Her: Yes.
    Me (still grinning like an asshole): I want to hear you say it.
    Her: ......... (through her gritted teeth) You were right.

    I couldn't help being a dick. I am so rarely right in our arguments, I needed that victory.

    Ahh, the mundane little life I lead.
     
    #5024 D26, Jan 9, 2011
  5. Viking33

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    So I started a new bouncing gig last night at the big 3 story dance club. 9 bouncers on staff, good guys and there in a fucking hurry if shit's about to hit the fan. The clientele is fucking retarded. They enacted a smoking ban indoors here that took effect on January 1st and I don't know how many people I told to put out the cigs last night. It's posted everywhere. Don't fucking size me up when I tell you to put it out. Definitely don't lie to me and say "I'm not having a cigarette bro, I don't smoke! I know da' rules!" as I watch you drop it on the floor. When I kick you and your ghetto trash friends out, definitely don't pester the door guy to get back in then throw your shirt off and throw up fists. That's why you got choked out. For picking a fight with a 6'4" Russian going through a divorce. It's a cigarette. Go outside, smoke it, come back inside. So simple.
     
    #5025 Viking33, Jan 9, 2011
  6. mya

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    Chris??? Is that you???
     
    #5026 mya, Jan 9, 2011
  7. hoju

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    Sorry to deviate from the flow of the thread:
    I vented in the Rant/Rave thread about this, but as a general Public Service Announcement: Don't try to make a quick buck using your pets. Especially if you don't know what the fuck you're doing.
     
    #5027 hoju, Jan 9, 2011
  8. scootah

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    If you think you're going to make a quick buck from breeding your pets, you haven't factored in some of the costs. Puppy farming can be profitable if you have a few breeding bitches and some experience (and a good relationship with your vet) - but for an average person? Unless the puppies are pure bred and sold registered with papers from show quality parents - there's no way to make money on the deal wthout being negligent.
     
    #5028 scootah, Jan 9, 2011
  9. hoju

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    The bolded part is what I'm talking about. Yes, breeding dogs can be profitable and professional. Hell, we have a German Shorthaired Pointer from a girl that breeds her dogs. She does it very professional.
    However, there are many people who have a pure-bred dog and think thats all they need and they'll be rolling in cash. Also, people who make a living breeding their dogs are weird as shit. But that's just a personal observation.
     
    #5029 hoju, Jan 9, 2011
  10. Dcc001

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    For years, my family and I were advocates and huge fans of Rottweilers. The problem is that so many health problems can be inherent to the breed if the breeder is irresponsible. My childhood dog had hip dysplasia, was prone to rolling his front ankles and eventually died of aggressive metastatic cancer at the age of five. The upside was that he was the smartest, easiest-to-train, family-oriented dog I have ever seen.

    When I was looking for a dog I couldn't go the route of a breeder, much as I liked Rotties. I still love them, but the effort you have to put in to finding someone who does it well, plus the ethics of adopting a dog when there's hundreds just waiting for a good home at a shelter far outweighed anything else.

    [​IMG]
     
    #5030 Dcc001, Jan 9, 2011
  11. LatinGroove

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    Or you could take the easy route and just check out at either the electronics, sporting goods, or jewelry departments. I'm amazed more people don't do this.
     
    #5031 LatinGroove, Jan 9, 2011
  12. bewildered

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    I have never considered this. I thought that you had to be purchasing items from that department to check out with them.
     
    #5032 bewildered, Jan 9, 2011
  13. SMUGolfer

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    Last summer I got back in touch with my cousin after 5 years of being apart due to various issues. We had some beers periodically and I helped him tear down/rebuild his summer cottage as a means to catch up and reconnect. Those days were a high-lite of '10 for me because him and I were able to make new memories and form a foundation for great things to come. Tonight he asked me to be his best man and I consider it a high lite of my life. I haven't seen as much as others have in life, but I do know that events like this are what make life worth living. Slainte TiB, cuz it's time for booze and boobs
     
    #5033 SMUGolfer, Jan 9, 2011
  14. zwtipp05

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    Nope. If they get busy up front sometimes, they'll even tell people to go to those over the intercom. You can't do produce there though is really the only thing
     
    #5034 zwtipp05, Jan 9, 2011
  15. TX.

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    I want to crawl into a bottle of scotch and hibernate.
     
    #5035 TX., Jan 9, 2011
  16. ghettoastronaut

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    God damn Diane Lane is hot in Unfaithful. That movie needs less affairs and murder and boring chitchat and more Diane Lane being naked and getting fucked.

    [​IMG]
     
    #5036 ghettoastronaut, Jan 9, 2011
  17. tempest

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    Do it. I'm busy crawling from one beer bottle to the next. Bourbon might be next.

    It's "snowing" here and everyone is panicking. Seriously, the store was totally out of bread and everything. The weatherman said it could be 1-3 inches. Jesus.
     
    #5037 tempest, Jan 9, 2011
  18. Arctic_Scrap

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    <a class="postlink" href="http://www.foddy.net/Athletics.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.foddy.net/Athletics.html</a>

    Damn hard little game, I've gotten about 50 meters so far in 15 minutes of trying.
     
    #5038 Arctic_Scrap, Jan 9, 2011
  19. TX.

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    We got 2 inches, and everything is canceling for tomorrow. Lame.

    Equally lame is all I have in the house is wine.
     
    #5039 TX., Jan 10, 2011
  20. zyron

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    You mother fucker for bringing this game back. I almost smashed my computer last time I tried.
     
    #5040 zyron, Jan 10, 2011
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