The 2nd Annual Christmas & New Years Drunk Thread 2010! NSFW

Get some appointments set up at a tanning salon, like 3 a week. Start off with 15 minute sessions and work your way up. I hate walking into a tanning salon just as much as the next guy, but it'll pay off when you're not burning alive. That spray tan won't do shit for you.
Also, you're gonna want some of this when you get down there:

Keep in mind that it stains light clothing.

 

In the hospital, my sister put a coors light on the table across my room as "motivation to get your ass healed, go over there, and drink it."

It worked surprisingly well. I saved that bottle until my two-month anniversary, at which point I was finally ok enough to drink it. I did so, with my younger brother. Best damn beer of my life.

As for mixing drugs and drinking, shortly after I was diagnosed with PTSD I was put on a solid dose of xanax and told "try not to mix alcohol with this." Yeah, that left it too open to interpretation. I may or may not have gone on a cruise I don't remember. I learned my lesson though.

Seriously, pain medication sucks in every way. I fucking hated taking it. It makes you all mentally slow, and lazy, and worthless, and the worst part is you know you're slow, and lazy, and worthless, but you can't do anything about it. At least with alcohol, you still THINK you're good.

 

Slow down there. My skin tone is best described as albino and if I lay in a tanning bed for 10 minutes I get burnt. Fuck that shit. Every few years in the spring I decide that I'm going to get a tan. I pay for a months worth of tanning, go once, get burnt, and never go back.

 

He's actually called this because metal flies at him and whenever he goes outside he gets struck by lightning. The kids yell "Boo, Magnet Ass!!" at him.

 

Another night of drinking for me!!! Downgraded to coors and possibly some jack and cokes though, gotta be able to wake up in the morning and select my next aircraft...on second thought, we'll be drinking at selection and I bought some bailey's a while back. Hooray!!!

 

Well get 5 minute appointments then, shit!

 

Take it easy on Whitey Brighteyes, there. The bulbs burn those baby reds.

 

Actually, last time I did and I stuck with it a little longer. What's sad is that I actually tan fine in the sun, I don't get super dark but it's a noticeable difference. I'd rather be outside getting some color than laying in a box full of lights anyway. I've just decided that my money is better spent on booze.

I forgot to say that I have had a spray tan before, I chose the lighter shade and it came out fine.

 

Popped an Aderol for the first time in a while to work on an engineering term project; very, very productive afternoon. . . kinda want more.
On another note, I've been trying out different whiskey's and scotch's the past few months but want to get myself something good for Christmas as I can't get time off to go visit the family. I'm looking in the $50-$75 range. Thoughts?

 

It's okay Whitey, your family will come back from Phoenix for you one day....

 

I also burn as soon as I step outside in the summer, that's why I was considering a spray tan. I leave in about 2 weeks so I don't know if I'd have time to get a tan if I went in very short appointments. What does a spray tan go for these days? Several short tanning bed sessions?

 

It goes for you having the hue of a traffic pylon. Spray tans are ridiculous looking douche fads and you might as well be a multi-tentacled stalked-eyed slobber-mouthed alien. You'll get the same look from people up close. At least tanning beds sort of look like you were out in the sun instead of giving yourself a hot-to-trot carrot juice sponge bath.

 

I'm full of $100 worth of oysters, steak and wine. OUT FUCKING STANDING.

 

I got it way before Jersey Shore was a sparkle in MTVs eye. Believe it or not, as long as you don't pick the darkest shade with the bronzer they can actually look completely natural. They do fade a bit differently though.

I'm not necessarily advocating the spray tan, I just had to explain myself.

 

Also, a spray tan will do about as much good as taking a bath in Orange Kool Aid when it comes to not turning crispy in the real sun. Do what you can to get an actual tan before you leave, and wear a shitload of sunscreen. If you really love staining clothes and furniture while you look like a giant citrus fruit, go ahead with the spray tan also - but it's not going to do shit for burn prevention.

 

Now that deserves a round of applause.

 

It's about time Dcc got here to post pictures.

I vote action, you know girls pleasuring themselves while showing ass.

 

Fuck it, all my papers are done for the semester, and I am ready to get fucked up. My responsibilities are all but finished, with nothing left to do but sit back and get faced and let the awesome relaxing nature of the Christmas season roll over me.

 

I'm not particularly concerned with protection from sunburn, I'll be wearing loads of sunscreen regardless. It seems like there may be a lot of things that could potentially go wrong which means I'm putting myself in the hands of some goofball who works at a tanning salon. I think the risk might be too high for the, frankly unimportant, reward.

Here's another ass in return for all the help, hopefully this gets the image of my pasty, albeit well-toned, man ass out of your mind.