The 2nd Annual Christmas & New Years Drunk Thread 2010! NSFW

Is anyone else watching Jeopardy noticing you can hear them pushing the clickers.

It is getting annoying.

 

You sir, clearly do not understand the unlimited awesomeness that is any type of pain-inflicting projectile.

Give me a rubber band, sticky notes, a handful of thumb tacks and a stack of chewing gum and I will be entertained for hours, if not, days. Give me a bb gun and I can promise you, I will penetrate more things in different positions than Jullian Assange on a Swiss porno tour.

The creative thing about airsoft is, you can shoot it indoors (technically, I can also shoot real firearms indoors, but my wife won't let me). Buddy needs to be woken up at 8 am? Fantastic, glad to do that, let me just stick this here spring-powered airsoft pistol directly on his forehead and I'll get right to it. Not listening to me? Motherfucker, what I said was important, and here's a battery-powered automatic assault (airsoft) rifle shot to the leg to drive my point home.

How dare you say you can or worse, do, get bored with any type of projectile launcher. You, sir, clearly do not have the appropriate pain-dispensing imagination. To repent, I suggest you take a gun safety course, and then do the exact opposite of what they tell you that you should do. All that dangerous shit they "warn" against, like combining firearms and alcohol, or shooting things with ricochet capabilities? Yeah, it's basically the fucking manual on everything fun and awesome (just don't kill yourself, or hold me liable).

Now go out, and live your life, and never again say that you get bored with anything that fires a projectile. How dare you. How dare you.

 

Dude, I watch Jeopardy sometimes. Makes me feel smart when I can answer a question and those dude's can't, especially the college version. We made the adult version into a drinking game.

 

Just finished watching The Trotsky. For some inexplicable reason, I want to perform unspeakable acts on Jay Baruchel despite the fact he's a Habs fan.

 

Jeopary? Begorrah!!!! You ain't nothin' till' you've taken on the monolith that is Bumper Stumpers:

...just like our hilariously awful TV shows (Beachcombers, Danger Bay, Wind at my Back, The Littlest Hobo, Destiny Ridge, etc.) we had hilariously shitty Game shows as well up here in the Land of the Puck.

Celebrity Blindness strikes again. Whatever that guy is dying from, I do not want to suffer the same cruel fate. He looks like he should be kept behind glass.

 

This is why I love TiB. And the boobies. but I figured that was a given. Tonight's our Christmas party. I'm drinking some vodka crans right now (what is it, your period?). Prob polish off the rest of the bottle at the party. Wanted to make nettdata's moose juice or whatever from the recipes thread, but too busy this week. here's to poor life decisions! *chugs*

 

Not sure why, but I've had this crazy urge to listen to some Frank. So here's the most well known song by him.

 

I want a cage match between Jay Baruchel and DJ Qualls. Let the gangly slap fight begin.

V.

Let's get it on!

they may have more money and fame, but at least I have more T-cells.

 

I think I may have found a new drink:

- heavy gin
- light cranberry juice
- squeeze of lime juice

Heavy gin. Everything awesome starts with heavy gin. And guns. Heavy gin and guns. (Please don't try this at home, unless under the supervision of professionals, or me.)

 

That's funny, I've found a new drink too.

-Sailor Jerry Rum
-Nothing else you no-chest-hair homo bitch.

 

In my liquor bar (yes, I have two; one for wine, one for booze), everything in there is mainly drank on the rocks. Titos vodka, bombay sapphire, jim beam, whatever decent tequila I have on hand, whiskey, rum, and a few handles of whatever else my wife randomly requests.

Mixers are for pussies. Except cranberry juice, tonic, ginger ale, and club soda. Those are awesome, and acceptable. Beer also counts as an acceptable mixer.

 

I agree. Let a new proclamation be made.

 

They've been showing "You Don't Mess with the Zohan" on TV a lot lately.

And this has got to be the reason why:



Fuck she's hot.

 

So have I. It is called whiskey. Straight.

Man up nancy boy.

 

Oh yeah? Everclear by IV infusion. So there.

Back to our regular scheduled programming:

 

No burn no gain.

Injecting? So what, you think Kurt Cobain was a manly dude?

All he did was sing whiny songs and he couldn't even handle it.

A real man would have spawned kids, and forced his bitterness onto them, and then caused them to force their bitterness upon their children and so on ad infinitum, drinking whiskey the whole time.

 

If there's anything worse than having a job offer stall, it's getting a worse, but more certain job offer that would conflict the previous job offer.

Why can't people all move at the speed of 20-somethings?!?!?! Fuck old people!

 

Both of you are pussies. All the cool kids are doing eyeball shots.

Now that's gotta sting like a bitch.