I like some old school country, but I hate country fans. However, there is nothing cooler than country gone metal. My somewhat guitarist friend is moving back here in the next year. I totally want to do a country band all metal'd out. Tell me these don't make you want to fuck skanks and break bottles: My father is rolling over in his grave knowing I have such redneck tendencies like David Allen Coe, Coors light beer, and fiddles. Oh, yeah I'll drink Coors all day. Fuck your peehole.
Your father can be consoled by the fact that David Allen Coe puts on the worst live performance I've ever seen. The guy has the personality of a brick. It was so bad the very genteel and civilized students of The University of the South were throwing beer bottles at the stage.
In other news, take a look at this. Any ideas to what that is? Answer: Spoiler Placenta art. Facebook can get mighty weird.
Much as I love absinthe, it is one dangerous bitch. One drink feels like you just took an over-prescribed dose of Xanax and you're incredible. Second drink, you're chasing invisible turkeys in the dark, end up face-down in a wet-weather creek miles from your home calling your wife complaining "I've fallen, help meeeee!!!!" Yeah, that's never happened to me... ever. I swear.
Most annoying song ever? I fully plan on being hungover at church tomorrow. Should be miserable, but for now I'm rocking a solid buzz and don't really care.
Church is for pussies. Go atheist like your heart says you really want to, and you won't have to deal with that crap anymore. Spoiler Claiming equal rights here. Since we are free to speak about the racial issues (at least nom can, because he's black, so that means he's approved), then we should also be free to make random jokes about religion.
Family is a fickle bitch, I'm going not for me but for them. Spending 90 minutes in a crowded, cramped church sounds like hell to me, but they want me to go so I guess I am. I'm really hoping there will be mimosas at brunch.
The mass we go to at Easter is great. A tiny Irish priest who mumbles through everything who you can't understand if you tried, gets through Easter mass, typically the longest mass of the year, in under 30 minutes. Then we stuff our faces. I'm bringing my dog this year. It'll be rad.
If you want to take the opposite tack, there's a church down here that still says Mass in Latin. You'll go in at 10:00 this morning and come out sometime next week and not have understood anything.
I go to mass about twice a year since they are holidays with family involved. Lets not sour an otherwise tolerable experience.
So do they get on your case for not attending Sunday boredom regularly, or do you think they're doing it because they think YOU'RE the religious one? That would be funnier. Catholic Churches are giant odes to torture porn. The one I went to for a mass, every inch of the wall inside the sanctuary were painted with some moment of Jesus being tortured to death. It was just guilt, sadism, guilt, guilt. No fun to be had, no donuts afterwards. All business.. Although I will give it to the Catholics for architecture at least. Pentecostal is how you want to go if you really want a cheap laugh. What a hilarious collection of insane fakers. It's like loud-music black church, but with white people and instead of awesome dance moves you get Dawn of the Dead on mushrooms.
I don't go much but I don't mind church, it's not a bad place to sit and think without distractions. Apparently I have to go to pre-wedding counseling through the church before we can get married, should be an interesting time.
Go Buddhist then, dude. You get rad zen gardens, incense and they're okay if you smoke weed, just ask Ricky Williams. You can just sit there and think or check out hot chicks walking by land nobody will know the difference.
So I have had a bad cough I can't shake and went to the doctor. I had a fit so bad there I threw up on the floor before he could hand me one of those kidney bean vomit bowls, so now they are testing me for whooping cough. Fuck me...
I don't know if Ive actually missed anything having never been to a church sermon ever. Cadburry eggs are a weakness of mine though. Yeah Easter!
And I'm sorry, you have to go to pre-wedding counselling? You are an adult. Taking advice from a virgin about how you should run your private life sounds as empty as it gets.
He didn't say he is catholic and even if he is not all priests are virgins, some date before they chose to go to seminary.