And if anyone is the authority on what acts are gay, it is the guy who spent time in prison. Please don't shiv me. Focus: I was a social worker who worked for a mental health hospital, but we worked in the community schools. One of my married coworkers had started up an affair with one of the teachers at the school he worked at. They would not only fool around at the school, but in the parking lot of the school, and in the parking lot of the hospital building we worked out of. Things finally blew up when the guy's wife found out. First she went looking for them at the school, screaming and calling her names in front of the kids, until she was removed by security (they apparently decided not to file charges when they found out what was going on). She then went to our office and proceeded to find him and start beating him mercilessly (scratching, screaming, throwing shit) until he finally had to pick up an angry, thrashing woman and carry her to her car and put her in it. She proceeded to get back out, grab a pretty big rock, and throw it through the window of his car, while kicking the doors, until he finally sped away, with her giving chase. Needless to say, once everyone figured out what was going on (one of the people working at the school with him knew about it, but kept it hidden because she said she didn't think it was her business to tell the bosses on him), shit got funny at the office. He knew he was as good as fired, he never even came back to collect his things from the office; he left that day and we didn't see him again. The only thing we heard was that after he didn't show up for three days, our boss called and left a message and also sent several letters to his home to tell him he was fired, and just to cover their asses, he was fired for "several consecutive no-call/no-shows for work" rather than his little fling. They feared that if they fired him for having an affair that blew up like it did, they'd have to shell out for unemployment, so they fired him for no-call/no-show, which was a fire-able offense in the contract we signed.
This immediately sprang to mind: I was in the Navy. The list is long but distinguished. Just like my johnson.
In my younger days I got a little too blitzed at the Xmas party, invited some friends to my office, and took a few bottles of Moet out of the VP's fridge for all to share. And another time my boss put a tab on for us at the bar (Govt. job, this was not standard), I blacked out and then woke up the next afternoon confronting a credit card receipt filled with 18/30year old single malts. I felt terrible and brought in the cash to cover it on Monday, but he just laughed my $500 tab off and pointed to the $6k tab the senior managers had rung up at lunch. Oh, and in the job a few years back where I met my current housemate, we bonded when I wandered into the toilets one morning to find him railing lines before a shift. However, my favourite unprofessional memories centre around a girl I worked with who later stalked me - Mrs Li. Spoilered for excessive length. Spoiler Mrs. Li had two goals in life - to be married by 25 and have children by 30. She didn't believe in divorce, scorning everyone who engaged in it as weak willed dilettantes. She had no hobbies, and believed that a woman's role in life was to make her man happy, and then raise children. Oh, and she trusted in the powers of fortune tellers and feng shui, and was 'allergic to alcohol'. She basically married the first guy who said yes, despite 'not finding him attractive or stimulating', so she could have kids. Now, I have a deep loathing of that tick-the-box lifestyle narrative, and struggle to maintain interest in any woman who isn't at least partially focused on her own wellbeing. So, we argued a lot via email. Then we started hashing it out over lunch. Then, shit got weird. I was chatting up a (non-married) girl at the Xmas party, and Mrs. Li drank so much champagne that she passed out on to concrete, and then had her hair held back by our Deputy Vice Chancellor (her boss' boss' boss) while she vomited in front of the entire department. She started coming to work in corsets, heels, and stockings, prompting the introduction of a dress code for every woman in the office. (This did wonders for her popularity). She started buying me presents of expensive whiskey. She bet me that if I could restrain from jacking it for 6 months, she would visit me on Xmas eve wearing 'an outfit that would blow my mind'. She told me that she was a hardcore sub, and liked bondage and rough un-lubed anal. Now, bear in mind that we hadn't so much as kissed at this point, and she was still married. I was pretty flattered by this attention, as I'm fat and rarely have girls throwing themselves at me. Then, she got my address and turned up at my house drunk at 2am screaming to be let in. I pretended she wasn't there, fearing a rape charge the next day. It is fairly humiliating to cower in your own house, watching your neighbours turn their lights, while some crazy drunk chick yells to be let in. The next day at work I told her that was somewhere between unacceptable and frightening. This is the point at which things started spiralling unpleasantly out of control. Mrs Li. started making vicious comments to the women I shared an office with, pissing them off. One day she came into the large, walk in filing compactus thing adjacent to my office, sat down, and started bawling. The women I worked with had had enough, and explained the whole situation to my boss. Fearing HR issues, he took it to his boss - the DVC who had earlier held Mrs. Li's hair back. I was quietly pulled aside and told not to 'encourage' her. She was pulled aside and told to pull her head in. I stopped talking to her entirely. She got divorced. She started inviting me to fetish events, and showed up at my house offering to fuck me if I'd promise to stop sleeping with the existing FWB. I said no, locked the door, and eventually changed jobs (for mostly unrelated reasons)/phone numbers/email addresses, severing all contact. I kept in touch with my old colleagues, and apparently Mrs Li refused to talk to anyone who was friends with me, to this day. Postscript: I've had an on and off FWB for... 8 years, basically since I lost my virginity. We finally ended things about 2 months ago, and I'm in something of a dry spell. So, I messaged the recently single Ms. Li, and asked her what she was up to (yeah, yeah, I know). This is the response I received, verbatim. "Hello Mr <AlmostGaunt>! Indeed it has. Let’s see… I found God (or rather, He found me), became a Christian (nb: Fundamentalist Baptist), in a relationship with an amazing guy I met at church and couldn’t be happier". I sort of want to ask her if she still believes in fortune telling, and whether her feelings on divorced women have changed now that she is one, but I'm scared of the answers.
<a class="postlink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Secretary" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Secretary</a>
No pasa nada mi amigo. It's counter-intuitive, but actually, it's precisely letting him put his balls on your face that will reverse the gay polarity. http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/155501/gay-polarity