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THE ALWAYS DELIGHTFUL WEEKEND DRUNK THREAD 10/7/11!!!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Blue Dog, Oct 7, 2011.

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  1. Gravitas

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    If I could suggest one target for Al Quaeda it would be the red river shootout.
     
    #161 Gravitas, Oct 7, 2011
  2. Parker

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    Yeah.

    Yoga.

    Yes.


    Thanks for your time.
     

    Attached Files:

    #162 Parker, Oct 7, 2011
  3. Rob4Broncos

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    Ordinarily, I can't cook worth a shit, unless I have a recipe to show me every step. Check it:

    I marinaded boneless/skinless chicken breast in applesauce (just for kicks) for a couple hours. Leaving the applesauce in the pan, I then sprinkled some pepper, basil, and garlic powder over the chicken. Drizzled a little bit of honey over each piece of bird, then topped each piece off with...wait for it...a half-strip of bacon. 350* for an hour, and you're done.

    I'll be goddamned if it isn't one of the tastiest things I've had in a long time. It's probably nothing special for some of you, but I feel like Gordon fucking Ramsay right now. I hesitate to use the word "genius," but I won't protest if others do.
     
    #163 Rob4Broncos, Oct 7, 2011
  4. shimmered

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    I think Other Guy just bought tickets to the ALCS tomorrow night...wow...


    Damn. It fell through. No worries. I have a big tv!!
     
    #164 shimmered, Oct 7, 2011
  5. Rob4Broncos

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    Much better than a motorcycle, eh?
     
    #165 Rob4Broncos, Oct 7, 2011
  6. hooker

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    I can't believe I've never watched Jersey Shore drunk until now.
     
    #166 hooker, Oct 7, 2011
  7. Nom Chompsky

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    Puppy chow, if you can eat, you can cook.
     
    #167 Nom Chompsky, Oct 7, 2011
  8. katokoch

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    Few things are more satisfying than enjoying a joint and big mug of beer on my parents' back porch, while they are in Mexico and I am here to shoot some geese tomorrow. I am only happy to wake up at 3:30 am for one thing. Hunting.

    and sex.
     
    #168 katokoch, Oct 7, 2011
  9. hooker

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    I'm going to smoke a joint with my dad one day. Has to happen.
     
    #169 hooker, Oct 7, 2011
  10. Backroom

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    The hook is catchy as shit.


    And now for something completely different.

     
    #170 Backroom, Oct 7, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  11. Rob4Broncos

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    I had some inspiration. Speaking of inspiration, I'm proud to say that I did NOT devise this recipe while stoned.
     
    #171 Rob4Broncos, Oct 7, 2011
  12. katokoch

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    I don't think my dad could stand to be in a room with a pinch of bud. My parents know my older siblings have smoked but as far as I know, no knowledge of me and da trees.
     
    #172 katokoch, Oct 7, 2011
  13. Nom Chompsky

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    Technique > Recipe. Once you figure out what you like and how to set it up, possibilities are endless.

    Plus, if you want to bird dog chicas, you can learn a little plating. Awww yeah.
     
    #173 Nom Chompsky, Oct 7, 2011
  14. MoreCowbell

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    Drinking outings should start at a reasonable time. "Let's meet there at 11." No, booze now.
     
    #174 MoreCowbell, Oct 7, 2011
  15. Revengeofthenerds

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    My pain is your entertainment ladies and gentlemen. I present to the idiots of the board, a comedy of errors:

    I'm a bit paranoid about having children; specifically, I don't want any anytime soon. Wife is on birth control, I wear a condom, and the way I figure is any sperm badass enough to swim past both a physical and a chemical barrier basically fucking deserves it. Dude's got something in his game that demands reproduction. Same basic reason Obama got elected: "shit, you black? And your name rhymes with Osama? And someone still aint killed you yet? Shit man, you fucking got somethin I want." My children may be born decades apart thanks to simple law of probability, but this is my way of guaranteeing they're superhuman when they do happen.

    So I was going bareback, and made the beer-induced mistake of squirting a bit too much lube. But no worries I figure, we got a towel down. Just laid it on and played it off.

    But then I was like you know what, I think this towel needs a bit better coverage just in case. So she lifted her back while I bent down to spread out the towel. Too many things happened at once, and cue my nose entering her twitter that was fucking Krispy-Kreme glazed in astroglide. So I've got a synthetic smell in my nose now, she she thinks this is hilarious. Now, I don't know about you, but giggling does not make me hard; it makes me self-conscious, and dirty, like I'm showing up to a drag race in a subaru outback with an underage chick riding shotgun drinking Boone's Farm.

    We were both laughing so hard, my wife said fuck it, "just go," and thanks to the effects of this fucking medication saying "just go" was akin to telling Kobayashi "hurry your eating, I want the check." So I start pumping away like I'm working a plunger after I clogged the toilet to the fucking Oval Office, and for whatever reason I got the bright idea to yell "tah dah!!" at the end and pump my fists in the air like I just won the heavyweight (welterweight) title.

    She started laughing even harder. Physically, her body was convulsing in laughter. After I compressed I don't know how many cubic inches of air into her dugout. Cue a queef. Cue my unborn-child pollen being spewed all over the bed like a 7th grade volcano science project.

    And now here I sit at the computer, drinking my gin martini, while my wife changes the sheets and I wonder if I actually am meant for bigger and better things.
     
    #175 Revengeofthenerds, Oct 7, 2011
  16. Frank

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    Show up plastered whenever they suggest a time like that. They'll learn... they'll learn.
     
    #176 Frank, Oct 7, 2011
  17. Nom Chompsky

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    Yeah, that's NY for you. Starts late for kinda no reason.
     
    #177 Nom Chompsky, Oct 7, 2011
  18. Frank

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    I thought it was so they have time for the coke to wear off before they start hitting the depressants.
     
    #178 Frank, Oct 7, 2011
  19. hooker

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    Love.

    [​IMG]
     
    #179 hooker, Oct 7, 2011
  20. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    God I hate NYC clubs.
     
    #180 Nom Chompsky, Oct 7, 2011
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