The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

Interesting day today at the office... had to go in to meet with some coworkers, and it turns out the moronic CIO of the company was still there from the Board Meeting yesterday.

He booked a two hour meeting with me to "go over stuff", which is code for him wanting me to show him how to do stuff.

It lasted all of 6 minutes.

He's a moronic idiot who knows nothing about what we're doing, but has this habit of arbitrarily decreeing how us, and our three video game studios, will do things. And they're all so very, very wrong, it's not funny.

Well, at the 4:30 mark in the meeting, I finally lost it, and basically told him I'm no longer listening to a fucking thing he's saying, because he has no clue what he's doing, and it's going to tank the company. I yelled (and I mean YELLED) at him in a totally unprofessional way, much like an old-school Drill Sgt during basic training, and tore him apart. Every point I made was bang on, and he just sat there wide eyed and stuttering. All while two of my colleagues were on the phone; one of them laughing uncontrollably. (We all hate this fucking idiot). I ended up storming out of the room (actually pulled one of the doors off the hinges a bit), with a loud "So do whatever the hell you want, you fucking moron" over my shoulder as I left. At this point I've emerged into the accounting department, and it turns out that a team of 6 auditors from our investors were sitting there, wide eyed, looking like trapped, scared little bunnies, wondering which way to run.

As I got to my desk, the Pres, my boss, runs up with a panicked look on his face, with a "you didn't hit him, did you?". Turns out the other guy on the phone texted him with a 911 of "go save Wizzard from Nett Daddy.. he's tearing him a new one". He then took me out for a beer and talked me off the ledge.

It may not have been professional, but it felt great, and I don't give a flying fuck what they think.

Then I get a call from the investors from Montreal, who say, in their heavily French-Canadian accent, "so... I hear you and Wizard had a bit of a, how you say, "excited" meeting?"

They get that me and one other guy are the only two in the company with the industry experience, and know there's been issues with the retard... so after a 90 minute call, I'm told "ahhh... we'll handle it. Give us until Tuesday." They know that if me and this other guy (who was laughing his ass off in the call) left, they will fail as a company. Period.

So then I came home early and started drinking. Texted a friend with an overview, and her reply was "so... you need some angry sex tonight?"

Why yes, yes I do. Good friends are good to have, no?

Fun times!

 

BOOM. New signature.

 

To say nothing of the fact that your avatar is Cousin Eddie, just before he yells, "Shitter's full!"

 

Wizard is the generic term we employ for fucktards that do a lot of hand waving and spell casting but don't actually know fuck all or get jack shit done. They live in their towers and hurl fireballs at each other and stare at their new business cards all day while those of us that know what the hell we're doing try to save their company from ruins.

And I say "their company" because he's actually one of the founders. Him and his childhood friend put together the plan and raised stupid cash, so props to him for being able to throw around numbers on a spreadsheet and cast spells on investment funds with sick amounts of money. But they don't have the skills to actually build up the company, and don't listen to those of us that have shit-tons of experience and want to help them. (There are really good employees that I've known for years that will get fucked if this implodes, so it's hard for me to just bail and watch them crash). But it looks like the Board is finally realizing the truth and is about to kick his ass out. In the past year, not one thing has been accomplished within 90 days of its deadline or anywhere near on budget. His "online gaming" budgetary skills are off by an order of magnitude, both in time to complete, and cash required.

He also fails to understand the concept that nine women can't make a baby in a month, as it applies to building complicated software.

I could go on and on and on but that just makes me want to get a dog so I can kick it, so instead I'll drink rye and wait for my friend to show up.

Needless to say, this is the desktop image on the vast majority of the workstations in the office:


The fact he's short, dumpy, and has long grey hair like a reject from a Grateful Dead tour just adds to things because if you put him in a robe with a dunce cap, he'd look like a wizard.


/ranting-venting/off

 

I fucking hate spending money but it was time. $119 at Burlington Coat Factory for 2 pants suits, dress pants, skirt, and shoes. It's too bad future employers wouldn't find this



humorous or I'd be all set!

 

AHAHAHAHAHAHA