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The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Frank, Nov 21, 2011.

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  1. PIMPTRESS

    PIMPTRESS
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    I got what I wanted today. We both left smiling, so that's good.
     
    #2041 PIMPTRESS, Dec 9, 2011
  2. audreymonroe

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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    I have a cut on every one of my fingers. I have no idea how I got any of these cuts, but it's making ordinary tasks very painful.

    Another note on my extremities: I apparently have exceptionally adorable toes. It's always a weird moment when someone first comments on them.
     
    #2042 audreymonroe, Dec 9, 2011
  3. McSmallstuff

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    Good lord. Sockshare is taking forever to buffer my episode of The Big Bang Theory, and this place is dead.

    Internet you have failed me.
     
    #2043 McSmallstuff, Dec 9, 2011
  4. Bundy Bear

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    All I need to see to decide is the chick bouncing up and down screaming fuck me santa to decide which movie wins. Almost has enough motivation to convince me to wear a santa hat everywhere this time of eyar.
     
    #2044 Bundy Bear, Dec 9, 2011
  5. Bundy Bear

    Bundy Bear
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    I was in no way meant to even drink this afternoon as I have a whole day of hot stinking sun filled cricket before I get blasted for free tomorrow night yet somehow I've ended up begging and scraping my way home after dollar drinks at work.

    I love end of year farewell drinks.
     
    #2045 Bundy Bear, Dec 9, 2011
  6. silway

    silway
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    Re: Re: The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROAS

    Die Hard is the way to go.
     
    #2046 silway, Dec 9, 2011
  7. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    [​IMG]
     
    #2047 bewildered, Dec 9, 2011
  8. thabucmaster

    thabucmaster
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    Rudolph gets censored:

     
    #2048 thabucmaster, Dec 9, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  9. Bundy Bear

    Bundy Bear
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    I see you your version of rudolph and raise you this nasty uncensored version.
    Very offensive.

    [rnsfw][/rnsfw]

    [rnsfw][/rnsfw]
     
    #2049 Bundy Bear, Dec 9, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  10. shabamon

    shabamon
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    I think this is the only appropriate place to tell this story, and I really want to tell it.

    My girlfriend teaches special education in Cincinnati, grades K-4, moderate to severe cases. Yesterday, representatives from the Cincinnati Zoo came to her school to show off some of their wild cats. Mostly smaller cats to start off: ocelots, servals, etc. Then, for the big finale, they were going to bring out a cheetah, an apex predator, and as you all know, the world's fastest land animal, on a leash. The zoo people really stressed to the kids that they have to be silent when they bring out the cheetah, so as not to make it nervous and react violently. They even have the kids jump around and shout so they can get all their repressed energy out before they bring in the cheetah.

    Meanwhile, my girlfriend is having Ethan, her only student with Down's Syndrome, sit in her lap. They finally bring in the cheetah, and walk it around the assembly group. Ethan decides it would be perfect for comedic timing to let out a few short, loud yips while the rest of the group is silent. My girlfriend tells me that the cheetah, a mere 15 feet away kept eye contact with her and Ethan for the rest of the assembly. My girlfriend was petrified (and at this point I was sure to remind her how big cats kill, by puncturing and suffocating the throat). Ethan looked up at her and could only smile; he knew what he was doing. She put him in timeout for the rest of the day.

    She told me she had never been so scared in her life. I couldn't stop laughing hysterically.
     
    #2050 shabamon, Dec 9, 2011
  11. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    And this is why I don't bet on the Special Olympics anymore, those Down's kids will fuck you when you least expect it.

    Sandbaggin' Down's fuckers.
     
    #2051 The Village Idiot, Dec 9, 2011
  12. Frank

    Frank
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    Why was she scared? She could have just used the tard as a meat shield if it attacked, I'm sure the zoo people would have subdued it long before it was ready to move on to her.
     
    #2052 Frank, Dec 9, 2011
  13. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    If i was there, I would have given my kingdom for a laser pointer. Maybe make him "run up the drapes".
     
    #2053 Crown Royal, Dec 9, 2011
  14. Fernanthonies

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    #2054 Fernanthonies, Dec 9, 2011
  15. bewildered

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    Why go outside when you can have your desktop set with a sky photo?
     
    #2055 bewildered, Dec 9, 2011
  16. McSmallstuff

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    Because that's where they keep the prostitutes who haven't been cut up yet. Duh.
     
    #2056 McSmallstuff, Dec 9, 2011
  17. katokoch

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    I like to keep my desktop background set as a photo from the last time I was out hunting (and preferably my perspective in the boat or stand too).

    This is way better to look at than the rest of my cubicle.

    [​IMG]
     
    #2057 katokoch, Dec 9, 2011
  18. bewildered

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    I just gave Abu a cracker. He is hilarious. After frantically trying to pull it out of my fingers for 5 minutes, I let him have it and where does he run? Back to his cage. Home sweet home, I guess. That cracker is currently "hidden" under his house, Wicked Witch of the West style.

    I kinda want to post a picture I took of him on the pet thread but I'm making a stupid face in it. Might have to crop myself out.
     
    #2058 bewildered, Dec 9, 2011
  19. joule_thief

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    [​IMG]
     
    #2059 joule_thief, Dec 9, 2011
  20. kuhjäger

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    So I went to some Christmas thing my niece was in at her church, and it was a group girls about 8 years old wearing white robes with blonde hair. I started snapping pictures of her when my wife came up to me and said "Lovisa is over there" and pointed at the otherr side of the group.

    I must have looked like a creeper taking pictures of some random kid.

    On another slightly creepy note, the priestess there was an absolute MILF. Nothing like sexy clergy.
     
    #2060 kuhjäger, Dec 9, 2011
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