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The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Frank, Nov 21, 2011.

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  1. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    I once saw Jane Fonda praying on TV in Atlanta. It was in the stands next to her ex Ted Turner right before the Braves lost the World Series to the Blue Jays.

    There are billions and billions of other examples like this.
     
    #2521 Crown Royal, Dec 11, 2011
  2. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    I've been a Broncos fan all my life, and I'm so fucking torn. On the one hand, I thought it was the height of stupidity when Josh McAsshole decided to trade Cutler for Orton, then draft Tebow (keeping in mind, the Broncos had the second best offense in football and both Cutler and Marshall - the other guy McAsshole alienated). I was glad to see him get booted.

    Then John Fox takes over? Welcome to mediocrity central, population me and every other Denver fan.

    I want Tebow gone. He's not good. At all.

    Yet he keeps winning. I don't know how, I don't know why. I can only believe that my Grandfather - the most die hard Broncos fan I ever met - is good friends with God (now that he's hanging with him I think, or I like to hope, even though I'm sort of an doubting atheist, but that's a whole nother can of worms) and somehow altering the games. There is no logical explanation how a team with a QB that sucks this bad is leading its division. Albeit the weakest division in the AFC, but STILL.

    Really, really torn.

    Go Broncos, Die Tebow? I don't know, doesn't seem consistent, but yet it is satisfying...
     
    #2522 The Village Idiot, Dec 11, 2011
  3. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    New Bitch On Top

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    One of my best friends is in pretty much the exact same boat. The resignation in his voice just now was so strange. It's like crack, or something. You know it's terrible, but it feels so good when it's working. His luck will run out at some point. Maybe.
     
    #2523 Dcc001, Dec 11, 2011
  4. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    I mean, you can't prove that praying doesn't help.

    But you also can't prove that it doesn't hurt.

    Proving negatives is hard.
     
    #2524 Nom Chompsky, Dec 11, 2011
  5. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    Tim Tebow prayed his ass off about an hour ago, and look what happened. Sure, he could have dug in, worked harder, and had a generally better team. Why do that, though, when you can pray and it happens?
     
    #2525 Dcc001, Dec 11, 2011
  6. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    I can prove that praying helps millions and MILLIONS of your fellow countrymen waste half a Sunday (or almost a full one for many of our Southern friends) on something that is entirely unprovable in every way, shape and form.

    Praying doesn't help when you could be watching the pre-games instead.
     
    #2526 Crown Royal, Dec 11, 2011
  7. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
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    You can, and they did.

    <a class="postlink" href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16569567" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16569567</a>

    Where is your god now?
     
    #2527 ghettoastronaut, Dec 11, 2011
  8. Juice

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    Half a Sunday? Shit, My church is through mass in 45 minutes.
     
    #2528 Juice, Dec 11, 2011
  9. Nitwit

    Nitwit
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    #2529 Nitwit, Dec 11, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  10. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    You must also have a United Protestant family.

    Seriously people, that's the way to go if you need God. My wedding ceremony? Twelve minutes and everyone was drinking in the parking lot again. Thank you.
     
    #2530 Crown Royal, Dec 11, 2011
  11. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Yeah 45 minute masses!

    My favorite priest in the whole wide world, this little Irish guy who kind of mumbles the whole way through, will be doing our wedding. If a regular Sunday is 45 minutes, an Easter mass is more like 70 minutes. His Easter masses are 30 minutes. The non-mass wedding will probably be about 5. Hooray!
     
    #2531 bewildered, Dec 11, 2011
  12. katokoch

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    I am shocked to see my first wrestling coach on American Pickers right now. He's a midget and has a twin... can't miss him. What the fuck.
     
    #2532 katokoch, Dec 11, 2011
  13. Juice

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    Nope, Roman Catholic. I've never heard of a Catholic mass lasting longer than an hour at maximum. Southern Baptists are usually the ones that drag it out.
     
    #2533 Juice, Dec 11, 2011
  14. katokoch

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    I can't stand Holy Week masses or the Christmas mass because they take so damn long... I'm used to it taking an hour on the dot.
     
    #2534 katokoch, Dec 11, 2011
  15. Crown Royal

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    If you ever want to see comedy unfold like you've never seen in your life, I reccomnd sitting in on a Holy Roller (Penecostal) cermon.

    FUCK I have never seen such a fake display of hilarious bullshit in my life. Speaking in tongues has been scientifically proven to be bullshit, yet these people run up and down the aisles, jump in the air, scream, seizure, roll their eyes back, pull fake demons out of bodies, etc. you think you were on the creepy street from The Wire with all the drug addicts going through withdrawl and shit. It was AMAZING.

    Those people, are by and large, utterly insane and in need of medication, yet Americans elect them to offices constantly instead. Scary.
     
    #2535 Crown Royal, Dec 11, 2011
  16. McSmallstuff

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    Well I can't say I actually am less tired, and doing better physically. But this coffee and vodka has me feeling like I am.
     
    #2536 McSmallstuff, Dec 11, 2011
  17. bewildered

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    Speaking of which, I almost pissed myself when I saw this:

    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=u9SS95q2kpg[/youtube]
     
    #2537 bewildered, Dec 11, 2011
  18. Juice

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    Please tell me you've seen Jesus Camp. Even as a religious person watching that, my first reaction was, "Holy shit."
     
    #2538 Juice, Dec 11, 2011
  19. bewildered

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    Today's question is: how many cups of coffee will it take to induce a heart arrhythmia?

    Yes, I actually have one of those.

    Yes, it is induced by caffeine.

    More importantly, YES, I have 2 finals tomorrow.
     
    #2539 bewildered, Dec 11, 2011
  20. McSmallstuff

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    Don't endanger your health! Five hour energy only has as much caffeine as one cup of coffee. And if that fails, even professors have skeletons in their closest. It's not coercion, it is merely encouraging people to be kinder to their fellow man.
     
    #2540 McSmallstuff, Dec 11, 2011
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