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The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Frank, Nov 21, 2011.

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  1. Nitwit

    Nitwit
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    C'mon, dude. It inspired this. I can see you walking around singing this in your head after every girl you meet......and not that there is anything wrong with that.

     
    #2621 Nitwit, Dec 12, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  2. KillaKam

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    This is true. He does pull off being a creep pretty well though, not that he might already be one.

    Salma Hayek for the win.
     
    #2622 KillaKam, Dec 12, 2011
  3. dubyu tee eff

    dubyu tee eff
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    Thinks he has a chance with Christina Hendricks...

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    So I'm pretty sure I met an honest to goodness sociopath last night. Over the course of about 2 hours she made all of the following claims:

    - She had pot in her purse.
    - She had done anal.
    - She had fucked on an airplane.
    - She had had sex on the 50 yard line of Cowboys stadium.
    - She was currently dating a Cowboy who sent her a dozen roses each week for the past 10 weeks.
    - She got a 174 on the LSAT and got in to Harvard Law.
    - She turned them down to study accounting at Clemson so she could save up money to go to Harvard Law.
    - She dated a guy in a frat for 3 years.
    - She had a threesome.

    Ok, slightly suspicion arousing, but no reason to immediately assume she made up any of these claims right? But then soon after, she started talking about how she had only had sex 3 times in her life. She then started going on about how she was a devout Christian and claimed membership to a church. I looked up the church and it turns out it doesn't exist. She told my friend he was going to hell for getting a tattoo. She said she would never wear a t-shirt to a football game because it's low class. She made the claim that if you have Jesus in your heart you will go to heaven. I said, "Ok I accept that that is a necessary condition, but is it also a sufficient condition?" She didn't know what I was talking about. I asked her if she was sure she got a 174 on her LSATs. She again looked at me with bewilderment. She spent the rest of the night trying to push Christianity on everyone she could until everyone started ignoring her. At that point she went upstairs, threw up in the host of the party's bathtub, and passed out on his bed. He told us today then when he went upstairs he found her and she tried to fuck him but he kicked her out.

    Eventually, we all started putting the pieces together and realized she is either a pathological liar, a sociopath, or both. I want to meet her again so badly so I can ask her all kinds of questions.
     
    #2623 dubyu tee eff, Dec 12, 2011
  4. Nitwit

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    Music please.



     
    #2624 Nitwit, Dec 12, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  5. Nitwit

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    Just me now, I guess.

    I don't care what anyone else says. Dude can play a little.

     
    #2625 Nitwit, Dec 12, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  6. Jimmy James

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    It's hard to watch Homeland when you keep expecting Mandy Patkinson to say "You killed my father. Prepare to die!"
     
    #2626 Jimmy James, Dec 12, 2011
  7. Nettdata

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    Mr. Toast

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    #2627 Nettdata, Dec 12, 2011
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  8. bewildered

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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    Oh my god. El fiance bought these:
    <a class="postlink" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B004OK7AZ0" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B004OK7AZ0</a>
    <a class="postlink" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0037TPED4/ref=aw_cr_item_title" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0037TPED ... item_title</a>

    Yes, he really bought them. He told me that he is going to use them for work out shirts, and for my birthday.
     
    #2628 bewildered, Dec 12, 2011
  9. Nitwit

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    I was looking for a good musical murder scene to match you when I came across this. Brad Pitt as my favorite serial killer in cinematic history on the Tube. Gonna try to watch the whole thing here. Later.

     
    #2629 Nitwit, Dec 12, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  10. Judas

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    Disturbed

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    Those are doooope. I'd laugh and high five you if I saw you in the gym in one of those.
     
    #2630 Judas, Dec 12, 2011
  11. Bundy Bear

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    You idiots have been busy today, 15 pages between leaving and returning home, fucked if I have the motivation to read them all.

    In other news eight days of work left for the year and I can get as blasted as I want for the next three weeks.

    Music for Nitwit.

     
    #2631 Bundy Bear, Dec 12, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  12. Bread Mustache

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    Style tip for da ladiez: Feel like your butt is too flat? Strap a diaper on to make dat ass pop!

    also:


     

    Attached Files:

    #2632 Bread Mustache, Dec 12, 2011
  13. Queen-Bee

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    I've been away for 55 pages. What's up? I know what's up...I FINALLY booked my Vegas trip. Bah, watching prices for months and stressing the fuck out as they climbed. Booked it drunk off my ass 20 minutes ago at a wicked price. I even upgraded my room. See in in 11 days Ms. Vegas!

    Last year on Christmas Day while the regular folk were noshing on turkey and being irritated my Uncle Harry, my daughter and I were drinking beer while watching a burlesque show and arguing about which chick we would rather do. I think we won (but no pumpkin pie).

    Tough month and especially tough few days for my girl. Her life is crumbling, so I'm thrilled to get her the hell out of Dodge for a mental health break.

    Did I miss anything monumental?
     
    #2633 Queen-Bee, Dec 12, 2011
  14. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    Nothing of epic grandeur, but it has been very funny entertainment thus far, worthy of our first Christmas Drunk Thread in my opinion. We've yet to get tho the part where everybody starts posting random photos of themselves or tell that hilarious story about how they got that scar.
     
    #2634 Crown Royal, Dec 12, 2011
  15. PIMPTRESS

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    It was a priceless thread that year...

    Fuck hangovers. I haven't had one in a while, ack.
     
    #2635 PIMPTRESS, Dec 12, 2011
  16. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    Honestly, I think the reason people loved it so much is because it was the first one, and because it was a seed that grew into a beautiful tree. People just kept stacking crazy on...and on....and ON...

    People almost seemed a little let down after last year's, and I think it was a) because it was CONSIDERABLY longer and larger,and b) people expected to much of it. It was still a great thread, and it's clear that the Xmas/New Year DT is the flagship thread of this board. The traffic (and funny) goes off the meter this time of year on here, this year no exception.
     
    #2636 Crown Royal, Dec 12, 2011
  17. PIMPTRESS

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    I know I personally was spending WAY too much time here for the OG thread, drinking, smoking and being nuts. Plus we had that crazy hillbilly making regularly insane contributions...Last year was funny, to be sure, but not as funny as the first.
     
    #2637 PIMPTRESS, Dec 12, 2011
  18. Pussy Galore

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    Pathological liar, perhaps. Borderline personality disorder, also possible. Or maybe she's just some bizarre attention whore with a skewed concept of what "social acceptance" means. But it's highly unlikely that she has antisocial personality disorder (the current DSM blanket for psychopathy and sociopathy) - those individuals generally seem socially well adjusted and don't exhibit fragmented personalities the way BPD does.
     
    #2638 Pussy Galore, Dec 12, 2011
  19. Rush-O-Matic

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    I don't know - I think the bigger question is, what was dubyu doing hanging out with my ex-girlfriend?
     
    #2639 Rush-O-Matic, Dec 12, 2011
  20. mya

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    My bet is a combination of drunk and attention whore.
     
    #2640 mya, Dec 12, 2011
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