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The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Frank, Nov 21, 2011.

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  1. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    Did I just shit myself?

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    [​IMG]
     
    #3201 Kubla Kahn, Dec 14, 2011
  2. Crazy Wolf

    Crazy Wolf
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    As this is the Christmas thread, I'm pretty sure a joke involving the term "ho ho ho" is supposed to go here.
     
    #3202 Crazy Wolf, Dec 14, 2011
  3. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    Hot toddy, coming right the fuck up!
     
    #3203 bewildered, Dec 14, 2011
  4. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Maybe like the Mormons. Don't they do it through a whole in a rain tarp or something separating the bodies from sight completely? What's that "hovering" shit they do? You know, the hardcore ones that dress like Little House On The Prarie rejects?

    The idea is to enjoy the sex as little as possible. Gotta love a book that says sex is bad but slavery is necessary but that's what you believe when you're running for President. On the other hand, the way some of you are bopping off in here it sounds like you're doing a bang-up job of enjoying sex as little as possible.

    It's not factory work. You're getting laid. Remember when that used to happen and you spent the next day high-fiving everybody you see?

    *throws sparkly confetti in the air*
     
    #3204 Crown Royal, Dec 14, 2011
  5. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    New Bitch On Top

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    Don't drop it, now.
     
    #3205 Dcc001, Dec 14, 2011
  6. shimmered

    shimmered
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    This. Sex is messy, and loud, and squirty, and funny, and silly. Body parts bend, get put in weird places, and make funky noises. If you're lucky you'll put a hitch in each others get along, and you both feel better for the experience. Just go with it and be glad you have a partner.
     
    #3206 shimmered, Dec 14, 2011
  7. MoreCowbell

    MoreCowbell
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    Wait, what? When did I say any of those things? I was just merely saying snowballing isn't particularly on my to-do list.
     
    #3207 MoreCowbell, Dec 14, 2011
  8. PIMPTRESS

    PIMPTRESS
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    It's just weird if you don't have a partner. hehe
     
    #3208 PIMPTRESS, Dec 14, 2011
  9. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    New Bitch On Top

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    I will cede that there's a significant difference between kissing a girl after she swallows and snowballing. One is par for the course, the other...well, you'd better fucking ask first.
     
    #3209 Dcc001, Dec 14, 2011
  10. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    Did I just shit myself?

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    HOW DARE YOU JUDGE HER and not fuck her!




    Is that germaphobe/sex thing a comedians bit, it rings a bell but I am coming up blank when it comes to his/her name.
     
    #3210 Kubla Kahn, Dec 14, 2011
  11. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    New Bitch On Top

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    See all the horrible things that happen when a chick snowballs you?! It's been 20 years and he's falling apart!





    I'll try and stop being smartassy now.
     
    #3211 Dcc001, Dec 14, 2011
  12. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Really?

    You're telling me you wouldn't dive into new strange half-cocked just because a thought like that crosses your mind. You're not fucking Bill Murray in What About Bob. Forgot not there is a small population of penis-owners out there that probably wouldn't even care if she was passed out.
     
    #3212 Crown Royal, Dec 14, 2011
  13. Aetius

    Aetius
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    They don't. I hooked up with a girl with severe OCD and it was a huge challenge. She had to keep track of the hand I fingered her with at all times, and I couldn't touch her anywhere else on her body with it after. She gave me head once, and only for a few seconds. She then had to brush her teeth for a full twenty minutes and then throw her toothbrush away. A few handjobs was all that ever came of it before it was obvious that it just wasn't going to work.
     
    #3213 Aetius, Dec 14, 2011
  14. scootah

    scootah
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    Most people with a PA sit to pee. Unless your pissing in the shower, there's not really another option.
     
    #3214 scootah, Dec 14, 2011
  15. Thorgouge

    Thorgouge
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    Disturbed

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    If germaphobes fully comprehended just how bacteria and filth and all that shit really worked, they would probably kill themselves and get it over with. I don't think they understand just how EVERYTHING is covered in shit and piss and bacteria and germs is unavoidable. I know it's just a fucked up disorder about feeling clean, but I like to think their heads would explode if they saw it that way.
     
    #3215 Thorgouge, Dec 14, 2011
  16. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    I'm guessing from your previous post she would be "into it" if she were nekkid in bed with thou.
     
    #3216 Crown Royal, Dec 14, 2011
  17. scootah

    scootah
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    There's a huge difference between willing to fuck you and into fucking you. If you've never fucked a person who was willing but not into it? Assuming you can actually tell the difference and haven't just been oblivious to how mediocre your sex life has been, congrats. Sex with someone who's enthusiastically into it is pretty much my all time favorite thing ever. Sex with someone who's willing for whatever reason but isn't actually into it? At best meh. At worst? ugh.
     
    #3217 scootah, Dec 14, 2011
  18. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    Isn't she purty?


    [​IMG]
     
    #3218 bewildered, Dec 14, 2011
  19. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Let me guess: she was a dude or something.

    If not, yes.
     
    #3219 Crown Royal, Dec 14, 2011
  20. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    New Bitch On Top

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    She looks kinda Jewish.
     
    #3220 Dcc001, Dec 14, 2011
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