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The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Frank, Nov 21, 2011.

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  1. katokoch

    katokoch
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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    I woke up at 4 am to go duck hunting again today and was puking within 5 minutes and didn't stop heaving for awhile. I had a hard time sleeping and was still sick until noon. No hunting. God dammit. Today was the last day of the season and there was a cloud of birds on the lake so I wanted to see it again and do some shooting, but sometimes shit happens.

    But I do have a friend here who is a pretty damn good cook and have a couple very nice mallards from yesterday that I plucked and cleaned well so they should be perfect for him to work wonders on. I am handing them over tonight. This should be good!
     
    #381 katokoch, Nov 25, 2011
  2. Omegaham

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Going to a bonfire tonight. There will be booze, friends, and more importantly the girl I had sex with. She's hoping to send me back to Yuma with "something to remember her by." Fuck yes.

    What have I been missing? Goddamn it.
     
    #382 Omegaham, Nov 25, 2011
  3. WickedBitch

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    What is the deal with the gas today? Does turkey give everyone the farts? It's like a butt-horn symphony in my house.
     
    #383 WickedBitch, Nov 25, 2011
  4. shimmered

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    We've been under a burn ban for so long I wouldn't recognize an outdoor fire. Lucky bastard.
     
    #384 shimmered, Nov 25, 2011
  5. Bundy Bear

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    I live in Queensland, Australia. We're not allowed to play with fire.
     
    #385 Bundy Bear, Nov 25, 2011
  6. shimmered

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    We shot mortars at my mom's house until she got pissed off enough to come outside and threaten us with real firepower.
     
    #386 shimmered, Nov 25, 2011
  7. kuhjäger

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    So I put a wreath on the door, and I found a little stuffed santa figure in the apartment when we moved in. It had a little hanging thing on it, so I hung it on the wreath.

    It ended up looking like a little lynching right on our door. "Merry Christmas, here is a hate crime"
     
    #387 kuhjäger, Nov 25, 2011
  8. shimmered

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    [​IMG]

    Needs more booty.
     
    #388 shimmered, Nov 25, 2011
  9. Bundy Bear

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Giggity.

    Bacon and egg and cheese muffins for breakfast, awesome.
     
    #389 Bundy Bear, Nov 25, 2011
  10. Juice

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    [​IMG]
     
    #390 Juice, Nov 25, 2011
  11. shimmered

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    I just did the math, I've been here over 10 hours today. No wonder I'm so fuckingready to go.
     
    #391 shimmered, Nov 25, 2011
  12. ghettoastronaut

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Going back to Toronto for the weekend. His means more airport drinking, and free booze thanks to porter.

    I have made two serious errors in my travel plans so far this weekend. Good lord. What do I do for a living, and I can't book a plane ticket between two cities properly.
     
    #392 ghettoastronaut, Nov 25, 2011
  13. Arctic_Scrap

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    You know what beer tastes good with? Tacos.
    You know what else beer tastes good with? Everything.
     
    #393 Arctic_Scrap, Nov 25, 2011
  14. CharlesJohnson

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Why is there a flock of vultures in my uncle's yard? Oh right, his batty ass sister in law feeds them because the outdoors animals "can't find food on their own."

    It's amazing how some people let their parents deteriorate. As long as they don't have to watch an elderly woman rot, out of sight and out mind. My uncle's widow (2 uncles lived next door to each other) was a pretty useless sack of flesh to begin with. Dumb, willfully ignorant of the world, never made a decision in her life. She couldn't spit out a coherent thought if she had 30 minutes to write a draft. Now, she's almost blind and it took her 3 minutes to say her old cat had cancer and needed to be put down. 8 little words. Her kids are white trash, all living in Minnesota, pretty much wrote her off though she's wracked with dementia or has a grapefruit tumor on her speech center. This old bat rides around on her fucking motorized wheelchair running into the walls, blabbering incoherently. Then she asks me to fix the computer she can't see to use. I turned it ON. Voila. Whole house smells like wet dog even after the housekeeper comes.

    Christ, the dog. The goddamn dog. It's a hound mutt of some kind, but has what looks like a Daschund's head. Dog is pushing 200+ pounds and it's got this tiny fucking head. All she does is feed the fucking thing. Won't walk it. It's never been bathed; it leaves grease spots like an old car. I thought it was having a heart attack trying to get off the floor. It's so fat it actually has *folds* on it's gut and hide. I've never seen a dog obese like a person.

    And the vultures. I am dead serious when I say a flock of vultures hangs out in her driveway. She leaves white bread and dog kibble out for wild animals. The vultures love this. It's very odd staring down a 2-3 foot tall turkey vulture. Not sure if they're there for easy food or for the woman to fall out of her wheelchair.

    Fuck getting old. Fuck her useless family. Fuck Thanksgiving. Fuck white trash. I'm getting loaded.
     
    #394 CharlesJohnson, Nov 25, 2011
  15. $100T2

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    And the rum is gone.
     
    #395 $100T2, Nov 25, 2011
  16. KillaKam

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Beer is here.

    I see the Bikini thread has been revived. Thine eyes have seen the glory...and its name was Angel.

    and Shimmered of course.
     
    #396 KillaKam, Nov 25, 2011
  17. $100T2

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    I need the booty thread to be revived. I need to see glorious posteriors.
     
    #397 $100T2, Nov 25, 2011
  18. KillaKam

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Amen on that. Ladies it's time to ante up.
     
    #398 KillaKam, Nov 25, 2011
  19. Crown Royal

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Yeesh. There are MANY things you can do to kick off a bachelor party. Tomorrow starts with....a tackle football game??? At this age, how much booze is required to drink away contusion pain?

     
    #399 Crown Royal, Nov 25, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  20. JGold

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Glory, glory hallelujah. I have returned.

    Oh, no one remembers me?

    Shit.
     
    #400 JGold, Nov 25, 2011
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