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The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Frank, Nov 21, 2011.

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  1. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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    Essentially yes. With smaller boobs and more Chinese freckles.
     
    #4021 Angel_1756, Dec 20, 2011
  2. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    Honorary TiBette

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    Sounds like she was about to cook up a dish of Sum Yung Gai.
     
    #4022 Nom Chompsky, Dec 20, 2011
  3. MoreCowbell

    MoreCowbell
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    "PLAN B?! WHY NOT PLAN A?!"
     

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    #4023 MoreCowbell, Dec 20, 2011
  4. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
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    Free wifi in a rust-proofing shop? Awesome. And the best part is that it gets me out of my parents' place so I don't have to listen to my dad singing the same lines from the same Christmas songs over and over.

    Also don't get me started on Asian parents. Destroyed a whole class of hot girls for the rest of us.
     
    #4024 ghettoastronaut, Dec 20, 2011
  5. Juice

    Juice
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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    So Tiger Mom?

    [​IMG]
     
    #4025 Juice, Dec 20, 2011
  6. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    One of the best chicks I ever had in bed was half Japanese half Italian.

    I didn't know if she was going to blow me, or blow my brains out.

    I kind of miss her.

    And what does that say about me...
     
    #4026 The Village Idiot, Dec 20, 2011
  7. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    That you have an unhappy marriage?
     
    #4027 bewildered, Dec 20, 2011
  8. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    Perhaps this is why you got a C?

    I have yet to meet that married man that doesn't think about girls he's slept with in the past.

    Wait, aren't you getting married soon?
     
    #4028 The Village Idiot, Dec 20, 2011
  9. Gator

    Gator
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    To paraphrase the late, great Patrice O'Neal:

    The only reason I have sex now is so I can have something to jerk off to later.
     
    #4029 Gator, Dec 20, 2011
  10. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Hey now, you said you missed her. Your words, not mine.
     
    #4030 bewildered, Dec 20, 2011
  11. D26

    D26
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    Sorry, guy code: "I miss her." = "I miss fucking her." We just figured you were in on it.

    See also: "I love you" = "I love fucking you." I really works in a lot of ways.
     
    #4031 D26, Dec 20, 2011
  12. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Yeah, and I kind of miss every girl I ever had sex with. I can miss them for seconds up to whole minutes (at least I believe I can miss them for whole minutes - I've never actually accomplished this personal feat as of yet).

    I also miss several pets. Doesn't mean I love my current dog any less.

    You see, that's the beautiful thing about time. It erases the crazy from your memory before it erases the hot sex. Well, unless the crazy and hot sex are intractably intertwined, but that just means I have to jerk off. Totally different.

    ...

    Where was I?
     
    #4032 The Village Idiot, Dec 20, 2011
  13. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Having sex with your dog?
     

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    #4033 Rush-O-Matic, Dec 20, 2011
  14. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Nah, she's too hard to roofie and duct tape. Too much fur for the tape to stick to I guess.
     
    #4034 The Village Idiot, Dec 20, 2011
  15. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    Well, that was a nice secret code we USED to have.
     
    #4035 dixiebandit69, Dec 20, 2011
  16. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    I love your apple pie = I love fucking your apple pie.

    You're right, it does work.

    What?
     
    #4036 Rush-O-Matic, Dec 20, 2011
  17. Bundy Bear

    Bundy Bear
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    Cable ties?
     
    #4037 Bundy Bear, Dec 20, 2011
  18. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    I love your mom's leathery old vagina = I love fucking your mom's leathery old catcher's mitt.

    My GOD... it's full of stars.
     
    #4038 CharlesJohnson, Dec 20, 2011
  19. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
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    "Oh, of course I like your friends, honey!" = "Oh, of course I like fucking your friends, honey!"
     
    #4039 ghettoastronaut, Dec 20, 2011
  20. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    Honorary TiBette

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    Johnny Bench called.

    [​IMG]
     
    #4040 Nom Chompsky, Dec 20, 2011
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